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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

I only just discovered you can breathe not push

29 replies

drivingmisspotty · 03/09/2012 22:03

Recently given birth to DC2. During pregnancy a friend gave me a hypnobirthing book that described how to 'breathe the baby out'. I tried it and this birth was so amazingly different from birth number 1 and all that horrible pushing and tearing. I thought I had done my research the first time round (and spent quite a bit of money on an NCT course) and wonder why did nobody mention this to me sooner?!

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Softlysoftly · 03/09/2012 22:09

I did hypnobirthing, tranced through the whole thing in bed, got to pushing stage without realising, DH had to "wake" me and tram it to the hospital, in reality I should have stayed put at home (had gp sil there babysitting DD1).

But I would say that my body did automatically push not breathe down, it didnt hurt this time though, in fact I delivered DD2s head on the pavement and John Wayned it into the unit!

Was amazing compared to the first birth 3 days of hell but I would say that it won't make every birth an easy one where there are medical issues, but straightforward births would be a thousand times better.

Softlysoftly · 03/09/2012 22:11

Oh and for the skeptics the Royal College of Midwives have had so much positive anecdotal evidence for hypnobirthing they are currently running clinical trials to see if courses should be given on the NHS.

Mellower · 03/09/2012 22:17

I breathed my 2nd out with no pain relief, it was still sore feckingagony but I was more interested and concentrating on my breathing, although I did start to refuse at one point, I think it was because they took the gas/air off me, or maybe they did that as I refused to push, yes I think that is what happened I was doing fine breathing but the gas/air turned me into a monster demanding every drug available, when DC head was there, so in the end we went back to breathing, (me and midwife) and out he popped no stitches just a little tear!

SmellsLikeTeenStrop · 03/09/2012 22:17

What is then name of this book?

Original poster

drivingmisspotty · 03/09/2012 22:19

Wow softly! It wasn't that spectacular for me - I didn't manage to hypnotise myself out of the pain and you're right, my body did still kind of push (do they call it the natural expulsive reflex?) but it was so much better than all the huffing and puffing. Thinking about it, I remember my first midwife instructing me how to push, I gave it a go and she said 'you're never going to get the baby out that way, you need to try harder.' Well, I reckon she was wrong. Good to hear about the RCM trials.

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Original poster

drivingmisspotty · 03/09/2012 22:24

The one I read was by Marie Mongan here

The other bit that sticks with me is the beginning where she relates her awful experiences of labour in the States in fifties (I think) which were very medicalised and she was given a general anesthetic for the delivery. That plus my pregnancy hormones had me in tears!

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DoMeDon · 03/09/2012 22:25

You only just discovered as you didn't know there were options out there first time I imagine??

The images of birth and the view of birth we have pushed on us are narrow and medical.

I did hypnobirthing and had independent midwife for my first birth (fear of unknown made me do lots of research). I had an amazing experience. I just hope we can hold onto independent midwifery or at least promote better options for birth with more choice and less medical intervention. I really like the mule blog and this article on birth link was interesting to me.

DoMeDon · 03/09/2012 22:26

I did a course in hypnobirthing - just googled for local practitioners

Original poster

drivingmisspotty · 03/09/2012 22:37

DoMeDon yes, I didn't know about it the first time round. NCT seemed to be what people did. TBH my first reaction to the idea of hypnobirthing was that it was a bit airy fairy and it was only because the friend who had given me the book was so impressed with it that I got interested.

Both times I decided I wanted to give birth in hospital, to have doctors handy 'just in case' but was lucky that our local hospital opened a midwife led unit in the same building in between the two births. I really think everyone should have access to whatever option they are most comfortable with, and don't really see why being in a consultant led unit (here anyway) seems to go hand in hand with no access to pools/balls/birthing chairs etc and having to stay in nasty postnatal wards and your DH getting thrown out but that's another thread...

OP posts:

DoMeDon · 03/09/2012 22:49

I did NCT too. Met some lovely people. TBH I only did it as I walked out on the free hospital antenatal. The opening line about when to attend hospital was if you're not in screaming in pain you're not about to give birth. I would never have given birth if that was the case!! I hated the idea of being in a hospital so I gave birth at home - we're not far to drive to hospital though if anything had happened.

Consultants deal with problem births so see it as a medical event. They don;t want you bouncing on a ball or submerged in a pool as they can't get at you if they need to. Consultants are an invaluable asset though for the births that really need them.

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 03/09/2012 23:16

I have no idea about hypnobirthing or anything else from books, but when I had no3 son and no4 son, my back was pretty much wrecked and I asked for them to write this on my birthplan as I couldn't turn on my side or even lift my legs up and if they wanted me to "assume the position" then I needed a person on each leg to bloody well help
The lovely midwife just said something like "well the baby will come out whether you push or move or co-operate or not, so we'll just wait for him to arrive" and sat back. Apparently, even if the mother is unconscious in some kind of emergency, a baby will still be born, the body just gets on with it. All this pushing and palaver just speeds it up at a cost to the mother - both their births were easy (as such things go) and I don't think I pushed once with either of them. They just sort of emerged, although I was sucking that gas n air and demanding injections as if my very life depended on it, so can't remember clearly. My body must have been doing something right, even without me in control so to speak. I do remember feeling quite bitter about being shouted at and basically bullied into pushing the first three times afterwards though...

piratecat · 03/09/2012 23:25

see, i had no urge whatsoever to push, even after two hours of pushing as directed by midwife. it was this forced pushing that damaged my pelvic floor badly and caused tears and grazes. (horrific) and babay flew out after a huge push. but she had sort of come unstuck it felt.

if they had left me alone 'would' my baby have come out naturally? They were all getting very worried. Is this why they force us to push, to save time, are they too worried about the babay being in the birth canal too long??

FoxyRoxy · 03/09/2012 23:56

When I had ds1 I did meditation and hypnobirthing, I had a shot of pethadine and it made me feel like I was in a coma, it wore off about 1/2 hour before I gave birth. I said I needed to push and she could see his head, I had a 20 min second stage. I believe this is because I was in effect breathing him out while I was still in my peth haze.

Morloth · 04/09/2012 00:00

I did hypnobirthing with both of mine, with great success - pretty much pain free and certainly drug free - no tearing or anything, fantastic experiences both of them.

But I had to the PUSH, the urge was overwhelming - the only pain I felt was when I fought the urge to push for a moment.

15 minutes pushing with DS1 and 10 minutes with DS2 with DS2 being far easier because I was on my knees.

Moominsarescary · 04/09/2012 00:11

I remember the urge to push with ds2, I dialated very quickly and he was 4 weeks early so was told to try not to push yet as the mw franticly tried to locate the paediatrician. My body just carried on pushing without me.

Ds1 however was very big, 11lb 2 and breathing him out certainly wasn't an option.

Gentleness · 04/09/2012 00:43

I tried using hypnobirthing from the Marie Mongan book with ds1 and after 5 days on induction, baby in distress and sitting on a nerve in my back, I couldn't cope or find any focus so had an epidural. I couldn't then push him out, partly the way the cord was wrapped but also I think because I totally lost touch with my body through exhaustion and numbness. I've no regrets (apart from letting them begin to induce me at term + 10days even though I knew perfectly well I wasn't ready). But it was SO much better with ds2.

With the second pregnancy I sold the Mongan book and bought the home-study Hypnobabies course (American). Chalk and cheese! It was much more thorough, the hypnosis practise much more effective and apart from a blip when they tried to send me home thinking labour wasn't progressing) it was wonderful But I didn't breathe the baby out, I don't think so anyway. Didn't exactly push either though - just my body took over and I worked with it and baby and somehow it all just went ok. Bruising but no tearing. Delivering the placenta was much harder as I'd just lost focus seeing my little boy at last.

It is such a shame so much fear is generated over childbirth and women's ability to cope with it. I could tell the effect on my body immediately when I got scared I was being sent home with ds2 and I knew he was on his way. My muscles tensed up, the contractions felt like something I needed to fight against and I just wanted it to stop - not to work with it.

Thumbwitch · 04/09/2012 01:02

I love hypnobirthing - did one-to-one with a friend who was a hypnotherapist (she was trained in hypnobirthing as well) and got a CD from her. I can't say it removed the pain but it did remove the fear and it did mean that I just let my bod get on with whatever it needed to do. So I never did any "active" pushing - it just happened without any voluntary input from me and stage 2 only took about half an hour (10 pushing contractions) - DS was nearly born without a MW present.

I had slight grazing but no tearing. And I had been induced as well (pessaries but no drip) so that's no barrier to still using it.

Need to dig out my CD very soon...

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 04/09/2012 01:49

I always get a tiny bit cynical about this because most of the people I know who rave about it, it was the 2nd birth. SO, as well as the hypnobirthing, they also; knew what to expect; had more idea what to ask for; 2nd births tend to be a bit easier anyway...

StaceymReadyForNumber3 · 04/09/2012 02:09

Mrsterry I think you may well be onto something there, I'm looking into hypnobirthing for number 3 but my 2 nd birth, when I wasn't so scared, knew what to expect, knew the pain would stop the minute my baby arrived, knew he was coming out one way or another etc etc etc was 100 times better than my first birth with dd where I was petrified and fought the pain a lot.

That's not to say hypnobirthing doesn't have it's place . Anything that makes women feel in control of their bodies and relaxed during labour is a good thing in my eyes tbh. I have a hypnobirthing cd on my phone to listen to and I am trying to get a book from the library tightwad

Thumbwitch · 04/09/2012 03:40

Not me, MrsTP - was my first.

AmethystMoon · 04/09/2012 04:05

Margaret Howells natal hypnotherapy CDs and book plus Una Mae gaskin's book on childbirth together these helped me breathe out my baby 11 weeks ago to the hour now I think about it! Amazing water birth that I really enjoyed, just used a bit of gas and air to help me focus on my breathing. No stitches just a small graze not bad considering she was born with her arm up next to her head!
I cannot recommend it enough. Labour lasted 4 hours from waking with slight tummy ache to her popping out. I spent the first hour in the bath at home drinking tea. I agree though no one via NHS or NCT ever mentioned this way!!!

AmethystMoon · 04/09/2012 04:07

Oh should mention it was my first and I expected it to be much worse!

Hyperballad · 04/09/2012 04:24

Mrs Terry's, I've just had my first baby, so I had nothing to compare it to, but the midwives said it was the most beautiful birth they had witnessed in a long time ( they were totally redundant apparently so just stood back and watched!) and my mum, who had 3 of us said she has now just been shown the text book way of how to give birth!

Hmmm, bit nervous for my second now, how can I beat that!!

wishingonadream · 04/09/2012 04:56

Just been convinced and bought the book and cd on amazon. First birth was awful and realy want to experience it properly this time. Thanks op for this thread

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 04/09/2012 05:51

It's so hard t know, though isn't it. Because we are comparing apples with oranges. Each birth is different.

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