hospital visits?

[mameulah]

I am really excited about the people I love coming to visit the baby when it is born and we are both still in hospital. However, I know that we will also be visited by the people who expect to see the baby, namely the IL's. I know I am going to have to suck it up and get on with it but I don't want them using up all of the visiting hours. I know there is a time allocated for fathers only but how do I get rid of the unwelcome lot and still have time for just the three of us? Has anyone else had to cope with this? And has anyone found a good way of saying 'get lost and don't come back for at least two weeks and make sure you phone first?' I know this sounds harsh, but if you met them you'd understand.

I managed this by getting in touch with people to say what night they could come on and that worked well. i also made sure the grandparents got the first visit so to keep everyone happy - but my ils are nice and easy to get along with.

Research your hospital visiting hours in advance and use these to your advantage. In the hospital I was in, partners could visit from 10-8, other visitors were only allowed 2-4 and 7-8, maximum of three visitors (inc partner) per bed. If you're worried that your ILs will turn up and not leave, you could ask them to come, say from 2-3 using the example above, then schedule in some other visitors from 3-4. Because of the max number of visitors rule (which I'm pretty sure most hospitals would have) your ILs will have to leave when the second lot of visitors show up. You will have plenty of time for yourself, your DP and DC outside of visiting hours - but remember, you are the one who will just have given birth and if you don't feel up to visitors you absolutely do not have to have them (easier said than done I know).

If you have a straightforward birth you may well be out of there 6 hours after baby arrives

Also a tip for getting rid of visitors at home... Once they've outstayed their welcome say baby needs a feed so you're taking him/ her upstairs to feed quietly. Then tell your DH he MUST go out to the shop and get some nappies/Paracetamol/Lansinoh/chocolate NOW or the world will end. You then say to baby "Say goodbye to [insert visitor's name], you'll see him/her again soon" and it should be pretty obvious to the visitor that they need to leave. Worked a treat with a particularly stubborn visitor we had who I had to get rid of after they started quizzing DH on how many stitches I'd had (if I felt it appropriate to discuss the state of my post-natal vagina with you I would have done; I didn't, so take the hint) and telling him that I'd lose my milk and be unable to feed my DS if I didn't sit on my arse on the sofa 24/7. Good luck OP!

My hospital allows fathers to visit anytime during the day. It is the other visitors who are restricted to 'visiting hours'.

Yorkshire Rose, I cannot believe someone asked after your stitches! I am already amazed by the questions that people are suddenly comfortable asking because I am pregnant. One person actually even told me that I needed to go to the toilet. What on earth is that all about? When did that become okay?

If visiting hours are 2-4pm for example, arrange for them to arrive at 3:30. Then they will be ushered out by the midwife after 30mins.