2nd birth upcoming after traumatic 1st?

[mom2rhysnruby]

hi everyone im new on here so bare with me lol.
i had my son in july 2011 and had a traumatic time, he was back to back, i was induced via drip, had every pain relief possible but none worked, had stirrups, was cut and had a ventouse delivery. he was born grey and put on a resusitator and i didnt hold him for a while after. im due my daughter in october this year (im nearly 32 weeks) and i am absolutley petrified about giving birth again, i keep crying and having panic attacks. theres a few things worrying me:
i know whats coming with the pain
ive not had spontaneous labour so every little pain is worrying me
ive heard if you were cut, you need to be cut again and stitches were horrible
im worried that due to a bad pregnancy theres going to be complications.

has anyone felt like this before? everyone tells me im being silly, i need reassurance but dont know where to go or what i can do to help myself.
whats it like giving birth a 2nd time around? and not being induced?
thank you !! x

If it's any help OP I had a back to back + obstructed first labour with Keilland forceps, more stitches than an embroidery mat and months of ongoing problems as a result first time around. Second time normal anterior position baby, no instruments, no pain killers and just the tiniest tear that healed itself.

No two births even for the same women are necessarily alike.

HTH

I spent my first birth with op Ds begging for drugs.

The following two I turned down gas and air as it never got anywhere near the pain levels of the first and then hey just popped out.

I had a hard time first time round. Everything went so quick I had to be cut and had forceps. I got very scared during my 2nd pregnancy too. I ended up having counselling to help. I was told to expect a bad 2nd birth too by the consultant. He told me i would have forceps at the least probably a c section. HE WAS WRONG. Everything went perfectly thanks to the midwife. She told me relax and see how it goes. She was right. 2 pushes baby was out, no cutting just a 1st degree tear (like a blister). Try not to worry, trust your body and the midwife.

Ive just read up on hypnobirthing and didnt realise you could have counselling for this sort of thing.
Im feeling slightly more positive its just the fear of the unknown!
My son will only be 15 months old so im hoping everything hasnt gone back to normal lol
Thanks for ur help! X

Hi! I was cut with DC1. Recovery hurt like hell. Tore with DC2 BUT although it was a fairly deep tear, it healed fine. Didn't hurt at all when healing. Certainly didn't NEED to be cut because I'd been cut before.

I'm due at the end of Nov w dc2. Hoping to get an elcs (consultant appt soon), but if not, this thread is very reassuring. My poor cross-stitch of a fanjo may not agree .

Oh, and DC1 was back to back, ventouse, normal forceps and then rotational forceps, 2 day labour, diamorphine, patchy epidural... Dc2: gas and air, popped out in 8 hours. I was terrified of another hard birth but it was almost enjoyable 2nd time round. Midwives laughed at me when I said the birth was amazing!!! Fingers crossed for you.

I'm in a similar position so this is great news to hear so many positive 2nd births following difficult 1sts!

You don't have to have a cut just because you had one before :)

I had a horrible first birth and was getting really worked up and upset about DC2 (also due end of October!). I know it could go any number of ways but decided that this time round I would do something to avoid the complete panic and loss of control I felt last time so I'm practising hypno birthing techniques. I've only had the book and CD for a couple of weeks but I'm actually looking forward to labour! Might be worth a go,

OP, your first birth sounds very similar to mine. I went into labour naturally but after 40 odd hours they put me on the drip. After 52 hours I finally gave birth (DD was also back to back) with forceps and no working pain relief. DD also had to be resuscitated. Loads of stitches, horrendous! This was 3 years ago.

I had DS 16 weeks ago now. I had to be induced on the drip because my waters went but no contractions. 1 hour 54 minutes later DS was born in 5 easy pushes with a bit of gas and air. It was MUCH easier. I feel so much better about the first birth now that I have had a good one (and I was convinced this birth would be horrific!).

Hope your birth is quick and easy for you! xx

Oh and I had no episiotomy this time (I did last time and it tore either end of it!). Think I had a slight graze this time and I certainly didn;t need to be cut.

another one who feels the same as you OP. Had a very long and difficult birth as a result of LO being back to back, drip, epidural, legs strapped up, ventouse etc etc. Being pregnant has brought it all back to me. I am really re-assured by all these positive second time stories and I hope you are too. Fingers crossed for a more manageable experience for us all this time x

The first birth is no indicator of subsequent labour and birth. After a horrific first labour, back to back, ventouse, episiotomy and an umbilical cord around the neck first delivery I was expecting more of the same.

Except I woke up at 5.30 in the morning, waters broke as I got up to pee. Contractions started immediately, rang the midwife who was with me in 15 minutes, she called her colleague who turned up just in time to catch my 9lb 1oz baby. It was absolutely perfect.

I am very reassured by these replys so thank you very much :)
My panic is still there which is normal but is not ruling me like before. Im looking into hypnobirthing, anyone recommend good books?

Another one here with traumatic first time - contractions stopped when I was fully dilated so put on drip, back to back baby, failed ventouse, forceps delivery, episiotomy and tear so loads of stitches.
But second time was so different - baby not back to back, normal delivery, no tear or cut at all. Just a few grazes on my labia where they stretched. Completely different.

I had a very traumatic labour first time, and was terrified second time, but it was very easy, no tears, no stitches, in fact it was so good I'm quite looking forward to labour this time around! Hope that helps even a little.

I too had a fairly hideous time with DC1 as I was induced at 40+12, 27 hours after I had the first pessary I had my waters broken, then I had the drip, then I had an epidural, then DD got stuck so was put on the list for a c-section which I had to wait 4 hours for and, whilst waiting, her heart rate plummeted so I was raced into theatre &, whilst one team were prepping me for the c-section, the registrar did a epiostomy, dragged DD out with forceps & raced this grey, floppy baby over to the resus bed where she spent what seemed like ages. As my pregnancy with DC2 progressed, I got more & more stressed about what was going to happen and was referred to the birth reflections counsellor at the local hospital. What I found very interesting and reassuring was that, whilst it was horrible for me, for them (by which I mean the midwives & rest of the medical team) it was entirely normal. Yes, DD wasn't pink and screaming lustily but she was well within the scale of normal and certainly not a case for them to panic about and they were totally under control throughout.
Knowing that reassured me but, as it turned out, I didn't need reassurance anyway as DC2's birth was entirely different. At 40+10 (and the day before my induction) I had what I thought was trapped wind which I'd suffered from throughout the last few weeks of pregnancy. However, after about an hour, I noticed that, this time, the pain eased for a few seconds every few minutes so rang the labour ward who suggested I came in. We spend 15 mins or so gathering my bits together, drove the 25 mins to the hospital where I was examined & found to be 5cms dilated and gave birth 20 mins later having only had a few puffs of gas & hour. DS came out in two pushes (one for the head & one for the body). He was 1lb lighter than DD and his head was smaller but I still can't get over how totally different the experiences were. A few minutes after he was born, I said "and that's it? Maybe you were right that I didn't need an epidural". I did have a second degree tear which required a few stitches and I could feel them for the next 24 hours or so but, whereas with DD, I'd been on codeine for the first few days and then nurofen and paracetamol for the next week, with DS, I had two paracetamol & that was it.
So, it can be different! But try & speak to your birth reflections counsellor or someone as it may help you get a sense of perspective.