Anyone used a doula?

[crackcrackcrak]

What was it like? How much? How does it work?
V interested as had such an awful birth with dd1.

hi there - I had a doula for DS who is now three. I think it cost around £700 which included a couple (maybe three?) antenatal visits and then she was there from first day of labour through to giving birth 36 hours later. She was amazing. think it's really important to find one you really click with though because obviously you need to feel very at ease with them. In retrospect I am not sure if I actually needed her as such - I just didn't have faith in the NHS which now is quite laughable as they were also totally amazing through a very tricky birth. Am about to have second and this time with no OH as he decided it would be a good idea to have an affair during my pregnancy and actually a doula now in place of him would be great but I can't afford it.
Many of them also do post-natal work too on an hourly basis so if you are struggling you can get them to help out in the first few weeks usually on an ad hoc basis. The doula UK website is really good and I think there's a register on there of all the doulas so you can look through profiles etc.

We've hired a doula. We negotiated a price we could afford with her - £200 (we're in central London so this is a VERY good price)

We're just about to start our antenatal sessions with her (we get 2)

Our reasons for having a doula are because whilst this baby will be my 2nd, he will be DH's first, and since I'm planning a home birth, I wanted someone confident and experienced to support me AND DH.

I'm interested in this too because my family are quite far away... It sounds weird but I would actually be interested in the ante- and post-natal support more than support at the actual birth, because it will be a hospital, consultant led affair and a doula might be overkill.

But the part where I come home with a tiny baby and no clue... that part I could see the advantage in having a doula!

I'm having a doula for the first time with my third birth. More for logistics than anything else (my first two were straightforward vaginal deliveries, and very positive experiences). DH will be going to his only DB's wedding when I'm 37 plus 4 and coming back when I'm 38 plus 1 - my mum and step-dad will be here to help with the other DC, but I would like someone to actually be with me during the birth! . So it's kinda an insurance policy. If it all pans out and DH is back and no baby, then I figure we'll have an extra support person for the birth and that sounds great to me!

We're paying $1,500 which is on the high end, but we're getting a very well recommended pair, who several of my friends have also used (they work in tandem to make absolutely sure one of them will be there for your birth - great idea if you ask me! one of my friends had their doula not be available for the birth, and I'm not risking that....)

I am having a doula for DD4's birth, I had one for DD2 & DD3's birth but she retired so we are having a student this time which is free (though some charge for travel/expenses).

I really rate the doulas I have been in contact with and feel they are worth their weight in gold BUT I think you do need to find a doula you 'click' with, even if they are the most experienced, highly trained doula in existence if they rub you up the wrong way or you aren't in tune with one another it's not going to work well for either of you.

I trained as a Doula, getting pregnant not long after has slowed down my recognition. When I got to know the Doulas I found one locally that I read her website, then sent her an email to say if I was to have another baby, which I had no plans of, I would have chosen her. I then got pregnant quite quickly!

I had a special scar (inverse T shaped) and wanted to VBAC. I knew I wouldn't have the support from my husband or Mum so I wanted someone who would be on my side when I asked for it. She was brilliant.

BonaDea, I'm high risk partly because of my scar and partly because I am a thrombophiliac so I am consultant led (I have 5 different consultants when I'm pregnant) but the birth is usually MW led with the doctor who's working delivery that day doing rounds. Whoever you have there (MW or consultant) you won't have someone with you all the time. The other thing is that Doulas aren't there in a medical capacity, so they're not going to get in the doctor or MWs way. I've actually been told to put gloves on and help out before! Not medical stuff of course, it was helping sort the sheets out or changing the inco pad. I've also had them asking me to do other things, at my last birth I was in bed with her and held her whilst they used forceps.

Oh and I agree with TruthSweet. You could click with a trainee and she's the right one for you, she's not there to be medical but to be with you, you've got to know you could have this woman with you at your most vulnerable moment.

I'm having my Doula back for my 4th birth next year.

Cost starts at £200 for a trainee, I think about £600 is the top end normally (despite some media saying over a grand, no one has owned up to that yet) but most will work with you about cost and if you're on benefits there's a fund to help you.

I had doulas with both DD2 and DD3 (DD2 is now 10 and DD3 is now 4). I thought it was absolutely the best thing in the world and both births were brilliant as I was so relaxed knowing the doula was there. (My first birth with DD1 now 12 was much more difficult, DH is very squeamish and did not want to be in the room for any of the births and I was quite happy with this but felt that I needed some support from someone else).

It is really important to find someone you like and "click" with. I think what they can do for you varies hugely. My first doula used aromatherapy oils and massage while the second was a trained nurse so they had quite different approaches. I would spend time making sure you choose the right person but if you have someone you like it makes such a big difference to the birth. The NHS is so overstretched you can't guarantee the midwife will be with you throughout whereas the doula is there just for you.

I think I paid around £300 4 years ago but clearly things may have changed since then. Worth every penny though, seriously.

You can find a doula near you if you go to Doula UK

The mentees/new doulas charge upwards of £200 and experienced recognised doulas cost more. £600 is a middling range, so do expect to pay more. Do speak to several and make sure that your doula 'fits'. It won't matter if the doula is a mentee or recognised if they are right for you. hth

I've just realised who you are lol can't believe it's only just occured to me

I hadn't noticed anyone charging much more than that, but I've not done a browse around for awhile.

I'm hiring a doula for my VBAC. She charges £500 for her normal service, which includes 2xante natal visits, 2xpost natal visits and the delivery. She's a trained shiatsu practitioner AND a trained former NHS midwife (left because of disillusionment with the system) - both of which I think could come in very useful.

The reason I'm hiring my doula is because although I think DH will be a great source of support, I'm concerned that the birth may be a slow process (being characteristic of a first birth) and I'm worried about leaving my 2.5yo DD with only our "au pair" (a lovely foreign friend who's staying with us, she's not actually being paid as an au pair as such!) for too long.

Pure bad luck that DH's and my family are all out of the country around the time of the DC2's birth so can't help out there. I also want DH to have the chance for some R&R/food/check in with DD if it looks like things are progressing slowly in hospital - hence the doula. I reckon if I'm not stressing about how DD and how DH are coping, it will help me focus on the job in hand. Plus I like the idea of having an advocate to help me ask for more time in the second stage, if I need it (and all seems well) and other things that may help with the birth.

It's possible I might have to have an ELCS if I go overdue, but the doula and I have negotiated a daily standby fee and she understands that if I do end up having an ELCS, she won't be needed for delivery and therefore won't charge.

I can tell you the two ante natal shiatsu sessions I've had with her have been amazing!

Good luck with whatever you decide, OP!

I had a doula for dc2's birth and I would definitely recommend having one. I paid £350 which included 2 antenatal visits and 2 postnatal visits as well as the actual birth. The antenatal visits were really so we could get to know each other and to go through my birth plan and what I wanted her to do. I was really frightened about giving birth again as dc1's birth had been very traumatic and she was really good at calming my fears. I really liked knowing that there would be someone there to act as my advocate and on the day she really kept things calm and made sure that the mws knew and followed my birth plan.

Whereabouts are you op? I bet someone on here could recommend someone in your area.

MWs going to Doula isn't unheard of but they shouldn't be bringing their midwifery background into a job. Other non-medical skills are different, I started a complementary therapy course before I got pregnant last time as it was something I felt would be useful as part of the job and between work.

InmaculadaConcepcion, are you saying there's no fee for the extra time if you go over and have an ElCS or no fee at all if you have an ElCS?

My doula tends to keep her midwifery background quiet to other medical staff - she's very sensitive about them seeing her as some sort of judge, or muscling in on their territory. BUT it gives her a bit more informed confidence when it comes to being my advocate when decisions of a medical nature have to be made (or indeed, gently suggesting I might want to try something else etc.)

Basically confuddled, I'll pay my doula the agreed standby rate for every day she's not drinking any alcohol/staying generally available in case I need her to come to hospital etc., but if I don't need her for the delivery (if it turns out to be ELCS), then that's all I pay. (Unless, of course, I want to pay for post natal visits). The standby rate isn't that much btw - just over five pounds a day for two weeks.

You can get a postnatal doula to help you out at home flooded, they tend to be quite knowledgeable about breastfeeding ime but I doubt they'd be allowed to stay with you on the postnatal ward.

I suspect it depends on the doula, Flooded! Post natal doulas certainly exist, but I think the service they offer varies according to the individual. They won't necessarily be breast feeding specialists either.

I also suspect they would have to abide by the usual hospital visitor rules on a post-natal ward too.....

They won't be able to be with you beyond the normal hospital rules but once you go home they can help you out. It varies what they will do, some will happily take on all your housework so that you can rest, but some will say if you want a cleaner it's cheaper to employ a cleaner. It varies what support Doulas will offer and what the parents need. Breastfeeding is part of the training but only in a peer support type way, unless they've gone on to train as a BFC themselves.