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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

What is required of a Birthing Partner?

3 replies

pumpkinsweetie · 19/08/2012 09:39

I have been asked by a very dear friend of mine to be her birthing partner to her fourth baby. I have had four dcs myself so you would think i would no all the ins & outs but it seems like such a long time ago to me and it is a completley different situation as i will be seeing someone else going through it iyswim.
Im not squemish at all and im really looking forward to seeing a new life born into the world. I am so excited and blessed my friend has chosen me to take part in such a special day!
Would just like some tips from knowledgable mnetters on what i can do to soothe and help my friend ? And is their anything i could bring with me that would be of any use, for example what music?, massage oils, etc?
And is there any do's and don'ts ?

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Badgerina · 19/08/2012 10:37

First of all, ask your friend! She will be the best person to tell you what she needs from you.

She may want you to be hands on - massage her back, hold her hand and mop her brow, offer her sips of water, or fan her if she's hot. OR, she may want you to just "be there" as a presence. She may not know and might want you to go with the flow on the day.

Chat to her about her birth preferences and find out if she wants you to be her advocate during decision making. Does she have strong feelings about her birth options, or is she happy to go along with what the MWs will want?

Does she want lots of encouragement to avoid medical pain relief? Does she want help with staying active and upright? Does she need someone to insist on a "watch and wait" for slow progress, before beginning intervention? Does she need someone to insist she gets the epidural she wants?

A birth partner can protect the space for a labouring mother - make sure lights are kept low, the room is quiet, people knock before entering the room, and don't talk during a contraction.

A birth partner can also protect this space once the newborn arrives. If all is well, a birth partner can ensure that mum and babe get the quiet time they need after birth - no need to rush into washing and dressing the baby, whisking him/her away for newborn procedures. If she wants to breast feed, and you have experience, you could help her with that too.

After labour and birth, you can help her after by caring for her, getting her MORE tea, running her a bath, helping her get into clean, comfy clothes, brush her hair, get her some fresh pants and pad. Basically wait on her hand and foot. All the things that midwives usually want to do, but don't always have the time for in busy hospitals.

Hope all goes well - it is an honour you have been asked to perform Smile

Purplecatti · 19/08/2012 10:42

It sounds as though your friend just wants someone to be there who's familiar to her and the birthing process. You'll probably be a calm and reassuring presence.
I'd ask her what she wants out of you, she should be happy about it as it shows you have her best interests at heart.

pumpkinsweetie · 19/08/2012 12:10

Thankyou for the kind advice, getting so excited about seeing a new life being bornSmile

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