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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Has anyone given birth alone (aside from medical people)

43 replies

PogoBob · 15/08/2012 08:16

For various reasons, especially if I go into labour in the middle of the night (as I did with DD), I may have to go into hospital by myself whilst DH sorts out DD - he would drop me off and then come back later.

I couldn't give birth with my mum or MIL there and I don't have any friends who could step in. I think I'd be comfortable by myself based on my last birth but wonder if I'd be treated like a bit of a social leper if no one was with me Blush

I may be a little while replying as at work today - sorry

TIA

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Original poster
PogoBob · 15/08/2012 19:19

Thanks Emma, that's really helpful and reassuring.

Those of you who were / will be alone, how did / will you get to the hospital?

OP posts:
strugglingwiththepreteenbit · 15/08/2012 19:42

dh gave mw a lift before taking the older child to his parents

BionicEmu · 15/08/2012 19:47

I can't be much help with that one as I'd already been in the hospital a week due to pre-term labour. (Yes, that's right, a bloody week of contractions every 5-20 minutes).

I guess your options are: DP drops you off, a neighbour or friend drops you off, or you get a taxi? I believe if you speak to the taxi firm of choice in advance they'll be more than helpful, or so I've heard.

whenhenshaveteeth · 17/08/2012 14:35

I'm thinking of doing it alone this time. We've got a DS.

Both DM and DMIL died recently, we've just moved half way down the country so can't really ask my best friend. I've met 2 lovely girls since moving but they're also pregnant and due at the same time as me so if it's during the night I wouldn't want to bother them.

Can't have a homebirth because I'm not low risk. I had a doula with DS but can't afford it this time (moving has meant a lot of financial sacrifices).

And finally DH seems to have been a bit traumatised by the first birth so he might be better off looking after DS while I get on with it. I'm more confident with myself and sort of trust my body to do its job.

So, if it's during the day I'll probably ask friends or the nursery to look after DS but if it's at night I'll go solo.

Good luck

ll31 · 17/08/2012 14:44

was on my own-was fine!good luck

SoupDragon · 17/08/2012 14:56

My mother was in the next room but I had DD, at home, with just one midwife there. It was nice and calm. :)

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 17/08/2012 15:04

I gave birth to my second on my own many years ago. DH looked after DS as all family 250 miles away so we made decision before the birth. . I had a brilliant midwife and a lovely student doctor.

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 17/08/2012 15:26

I was on my own when my youngest son was born - mum and mil were too far away to get there in time. I was dreading it, but it was a wonderful experience. The midwives were lovely and I wasn't left on my own. After he was born, the midwife and the student made a big fuss of DS, and even called the receptionist and another midwife in to coo over him and congratulate me.

In some ways being alone was better than having a husband, relative or friend there because I could just get on with giving birth without any distractions.

mayhew · 17/08/2012 20:51

As midwives we often care for women who have noone with them for practical or personal reasons. For some it is a definite preference. We certainly don't judge them. What I would do, as a midwife, is to get a student midwife there as an extra support. Just someone who can do things like get fresh water or help you wash or change. They are keen to help and support.

ClimbingPenguin · 17/08/2012 20:56

DH only made the last hour as it took that long for get babysitter for DD. I quite enjoyed it actually and treated great by the MW's. I liked not having to worry about DH and just concentrating on me, like others have said. DH and DD dropped me off and hung around until they confirmed I was in active labour and keeping me. Also meant he knew what room I was in. MWs kept saying that DD was welcome to stay but obviously I didn't want that.

Ilovecake1 · 19/08/2012 00:33

I only have 11months between mine and actually wanted to do the second labour on my own! Due to my first having medical problems we were unable to leave/trust family and friends to look after her. My husband wasn't willing and was determined to be at the birth, he came about an hour before birth and all went perfect. The staff were amazing and stayed with me all the time.

Original poster
PogoBob · 19/08/2012 00:56

Thanks for the further tales and reassurance.

penguin must confess I assumed we wouldn't be able to keep DD with us.

OP posts:
Ambi · 19/08/2012 19:35

Pogo, I'm in the same situation, DH will probably be dropping me off at the hospital then DD to ILs (40 mins away) My mum will get the call that I'm on the way to the hospital, but she's currently 1hr15 away at my Gdads bedside as he's terminal. So I run the risk of being alone, I may call on my friend to come with me if she's able to (with a 3yr old and DH who works away a lot). I'm just going to see how it goes but I'm pretty ok with being on my own, just the boredom and DH missing the birth concerns me.

javotte · 19/08/2012 21:27

DM was supposed to look after DS but never answered the phone Sad so DH had to stay with him and I gave birth to DD on my own. I had a very quick birth (DD was in my arms 17mn after I got to the hospital) and TBH I was more relaxed without DH. I didn't worry about screaming / pooing / etc.

HalleLouja · 19/08/2012 21:31

Me. The person who can't do pain in the slightest. I managed to give birth with 2 midwives at the end but that was about it. Most of the time I was by myself. It was 3 hours from start to finish and they didn't call my husband. It wasn't the best experience ever but was ok. It was so quick and took a while to get started properly so I was lucky. If it wasn't so quick they might have actually phoned my DH.

pettyprudence · 19/08/2012 21:44

I had a planned home birth but my DH was away at a meeting 3 hours away - my fault I sent him even though he could see things were starting (I was in denial).

My MW stayed with me throughout the 3 hours, seriously, she wouldn't even leave me to get something from the car until the other MW's turned up! She was lovely, calming and reassuring. She did get my BFF over in the last 2 hours-ish as she thought that might help my bp but bless her I had to tell her to leave me alone (nicely, I just went in to myself!).

Although it wasn't planned this time, I have told DH that if/when we have DC2 I would prefer him not to be there again. Maybe actually in the house (looking after DS) but not in the room with me. I don't want him seeing me like that, plus, as much as I love him, I think he would annoy me!

MissPollysTrolleyed · 21/08/2012 12:57

Pogobob I am in the same position with no family or close friends close-by. I have a carer from nursery on stand-by for DS but she may be out clubbing if I go into labour on a Saturday night / at work if I go into labour on a weekday that DS is not booked into nursery so I can't rely on her 100%.

I'd be really sad if my DH wasn't there as he was a brilliant support with DS and I'd be very sorry for him if he missed the birth but I feel certain the midwives would give extra attention and care to a woman who was labouring alone.

A doula probably would be a good solution but my pregnancy yoga teacher is a doula and she's a tiny bit of a knob so she's put me off them.

ItsMyLastOne · 22/08/2012 22:08

If it were me, I'd go into hospital when necessary. Ask IL's to come ver to the house to look after DD and have DH come to hospital ASAP. But if you end up giving birth alone I'm absolutely sure the mw's would look after you.

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