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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Anyone else due soon and dreading labour/birth?

32 replies

arabella2 · 08/03/2006 22:49

Following on from my last thread re. gory birth, the other question I've got is the above... Am due on the 17th - am excited about having the baby but not about pain etc... - this is my third. Am rationalising anxiety by thinking that in any case while it is happening there is not much I will be able to do about it, but have to say I am sometimes a basket of nerves (is that an idiom or made up?) that keeps on running to the toilet when I think about it...

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Miaou · 08/03/2006 22:53

If it's of any comfort arabella, I had my third in August this year, and I found it was sooooo much better than I was expecting. I had epidurals with the first two (and really needed them, I couldn't handle the pain), whereas this time round I had a waterbirth and no pain relief, didn't feel I wanted any!

I found it really helpful to do relaxation exercises beforehand - speak to your midwife, she should be able to help you! I then used these exercises during labour to keep me calm.

laundrylover · 08/03/2006 22:58

Arabella, I am due on the 19th with my second and was lucky to have a really good first birth. To tell you the truth being preggers has been so horrible that I am dying for labour to start!! Why not try dreading all those sleepless nights instead???
If you've done it twice you're obviously good at it (not read gory birth thread but you're back for more!) so am sending you some calm vibes.....
Come and join us on the due March thread and whinge away!!!!

aelita · 09/03/2006 16:03

Due on the 31st with my second and I am starting to get apprehensive! My fear is (rational or otherwise) that things will progress so quickly I won't have time to get the longed-for epidural...

tonton · 09/03/2006 16:30

I'm due in 6 weeks and am very nervous. I had an em cs last time and only dilated to 2-3 centimentres. So I really feel I'll be a beginner! I'm hating being pregnant but am working for another 3 weeks still which I'm finding hard. So tired and uncomfortable. And not ready at all!
Starting thinking I'd almost prefer another cs....but not really Just the panic talking!

Piffle · 09/03/2006 16:33

I want all you lasses to deep breathe and have faith in your bodies :)

cori · 09/03/2006 16:34

Tonton, I feel exactly like you for the same reasons. Had an emergency C section, only dilated 2-3 cm. I had an epidural when I was induced so I dont even remember really what a contraction feels like. Am due in 8 weeks.

Distel · 09/03/2006 16:45

Iremember a very serele (sp?) moment in hospital while pregnant for the 2nd time. I was sat in the day room at about 6.30 in the morning, my waters had broken at home and I had to stay in hospital as the Placenta was boarderline wether it was in the way or not. I just remember thinking OH my god, this is really gonna hurt, AND i JUST SAT THERE AND CRIED. I felt really stupid, but I felt so over whelmed and diddn't really know what tp do. I think if someone would have offered me a cesarian there and then I would have had it. I think it is a perfectly natural reaction, good luck with everything and I'm sure you will be fine.

muma3 · 09/03/2006 16:49

arabella . i have a 9 month old and she was my third dd. there is a thing called third baby syndrome i had it and couldnt understand why i was so anxious with having 2 before. i asked my midwife and she said that alot of mums get anxious the more babies you have .

good luck and im sure you will be fine. i had an extremely easy birth and was thinking why on earth was i so worried. and im sure you will be the same.

Uwila · 09/03/2006 16:53

Good luck everyone.

fennel · 09/03/2006 16:55

lots of sympathy from me who was also nervous having my 3rd (and my 1st and 2nd). if it helps, the 3rd birth was the best. or at least the least bad....

InternationalGirl · 09/03/2006 17:40

I am due with no. 3 in a couple of weeks and have been a little nervous but at the same time hoping for a 'good' birth - this is the last one for me. I choose not to have cs unless there are complications and it is absolutely necessary. 2 previous births were natural with just G&A so hoping for the same. I have heard that deep breathing actually does limit the pain some by giving your body more oxygen. I am doing exactly as piffle says and concentrating on the deep breathing and having confidence in my body's ability to do what it needs to and what it has already done twice before.

I am doing a little positive psyching myself up too... "I can do it, I can do it" and plan to 'move towards the pain' rather than fearing it. I know it may sound a bit 'out there' but I really feel having a positive attitude will make all the difference.

bubblepop · 09/03/2006 20:58

arabella. i can identify with you totally. when i was expecting my fourth child i was absolutely terrified. unfortnately my third birth was not a good experience for a couple of reasons, so i was expecting the same with my fourth. HOW WRONG I WAS!!!! you may find it helpful if you make some sort of birth plan,at least you can comunicate your wishes and have some sort of control over events.talk to your midwife about pain relief, nobody wins prizes for giving birth without it! finally, i would thoroughly recommend a water birth,it really helped me to relax and was a beautiful experience.trust in your body, you can do it!i bet you find,like me, the anticipation was worse than the event.good luck.

Original poster

arabella2 · 10/03/2006 09:10

Thanks for nice thoughts and encouragements everybody - I also wish everbody in this particular boat the best birth and I'll let you know how I get on (hope you do the same)... could be any time now as am 39 weeks today and ds was born at 38 + 5 and dd at 39 (gulp!).

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 10/03/2006 09:59

Remember - the pain stops immediately the baby is born. Something I'd forgotten before having my 3rd recently :)

Marne · 10/03/2006 10:07

i'm due on the 21st and dreding the bith, this is my 2nd, my first labour was very painful as i chose not to have any drugs this time i'm going to have what ever they offer me, i stay awake at night thinking about it. Cant wait for it all to be over.

lockets · 10/03/2006 10:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gemmitygem · 10/03/2006 11:04

I'm only 9 weeks and scared stiff already! Friends have said it was basically hideously, horribly painful, and I just don't want to go through that!

I'm set on having the mobile epidural, but what if it doesn't work? My best friend (no kids) says I'm being a wimp and that it's not a problem without pain relief if you think positive, but I'm NOT able to think positive! I don't want to end up with real trauma/depression. I mean, many processes in life (like dying) are perfectly natural, but they hurt like billy-o, so the fact it's natural does not reassure me at all.. Any others in the same boat?

littlemisspiggy · 10/03/2006 11:07

Was thinking about this and about to start a thread but didn't know where to put it. You beat me to it. I'm not due until 24th May (2nd) but I'm already getting jittery about the birth adn being in hospital overnight. I think it's because I just don't know how it will go. Could be easy, could be difficult. I hate that.
So not much advice just sympathy.
Good Luck and I wish you a really easy one.

ShaysMummy · 10/03/2006 11:07

i was dreading at and was told all the horror stories but it's just the way people are! they like to scare you!
it was nowhere near as bad as they all told me- in fact i enjoyed it- yes it hurt but it was positive not negative pain i was feeling.
it is all to do with your state of mind. have confidence in your body- it knows what to do even if you dont!!

Gemmitygem · 10/03/2006 11:12

but, Shaysmummy, was it really Ok, even the first time? My cousin had a baby, she is both physically and mentally very strong, and in the past she has had broken bones etc and been very laid back and tolerant of the pain, yet she found childbirth absolute agony, was really traumatised afterward, and the 2nd time round she had an elective Caesarian.. I really don't think she meant to scare me, she just told me her honest experiences. Sorry to sound so negative, but I'm terrified!

lockets · 10/03/2006 11:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lockets · 10/03/2006 11:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShaysMummy · 10/03/2006 11:36

i have a low pain threshold and was expecting to break down into a blubbering mess begging for an epidural at the first contraction. but i totally suprised myself and went the full 9 yards with gas and air in the pool with dh and mother present.
what i meant was, i knew it would come out wrong, people, more so friends, have more fun telling you the bad bits the good bits- thats boring!!

AnnaK · 10/03/2006 13:56

One thing I found was that all the horror stories come out as you get nearer your due date. I was terrified and even wrote down all the bank account details for dh in case I didn't make it (we do internet banking). I had a long labour using tens and gas and air and produced a bouncing 9lber (with only 5 stitches - I recommend perineal massage) and my first thought when they handed him to me was 'I could do that again'. My body just got on with it. Admittedly, I was lucky but someone ought to start a positive birth thread. I am back for more and somewhat apprehensive as this baby is going to be huge, due in 7 weeks.
Advice - there are no prizes for not having pain relief, take what they offer if you feel you need it! And good luck everybody...

wools · 10/03/2006 15:40

I've always had a high pain threshold (broken arm with just paractemol for 2 days) but I must admit with both babies births - I found the pain unbearable until the epidural. Now pregnant again and I will have no hesitation in asking for the epidural straight away - I guess we're all different and maybe childbirth pain varies from person to person.

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