C-Section - advice on sibling planning needed!

[hockeymum]

Hi, I'm booked in for an elective section (past emergency one) next month. I have a dd 3 1/2 who will go to a friend's house that morning when I go to the hospital. I'm trying to decide what time she should come and visit in the hospital and roughly how long a 3 1/2 year old can be interested in it all. Obviously I'll be in for 48 hours at least and the in-laws will be at our house so they can bring her in for visiting times.

How did other people manage this? Did the older siblings visit each day? for how long? How soon after the section did they first come in? Words of wisdom most appreciated. (Oh I must add that she's a really good girl and loves babies and hospitals, so not anticipating any problems on that front). Thanks

First of all, if you can, please book your section as late as possible. Later section = bigger baby = easier to take care of. (Obviously, if you're worried about something going wrong that makes this impractical, never mind.)

I had an "emergency" section with DS2, when DS1 was 3. My waters broke at midnight, DS2's head wasn't engaged, I wasn't even effaced, and there was meconium, so we went for an "emergency" section at 6am. DS1 came to visit, with a family friend, that same day, for maybe half an hour?

And I was home the next morning, so only one night in hospital, only one visit.

i had my elective c/s (for breech) when ds1 was 4.5 years old. the section was done about 9a.m and i went up to teh ward around lunch time, ds1 ddin't come to visit until late afternoon around 4.30ish, there were other children there then too, as must have come to visit mum after school, so i wasn't too concerned about noise levels, as it happens he was amazed by ds2 and was quite quiet. he sat on the bed and held him and his brother gave him a present that was in the crib ready for him when he came in to see him.

if i remeber correctly my mum took him home afetr about an hour as he did start to get bored, he came into visit every day, i was only in for two days so wasn't too bad.

this time my mum will have the two of them, and bring them in afetr school/nursery depending on the time of my section, you def need to have been up on the ward for a couple of hours at least. this time the beds have a service called patientline which has digital tv on it so will make sure that it is charged and ready to go so that ds2 can watch cartoons if he wants too.

My dd1 was 3 when I had a section (elective) for dd2, my parents bought her in for the afternoon visiting at around 3pm I think, and she stayed for the whole 1 1/2 hours, she was very good, and she got a jigsaw from her new sister so was able to play with this on the floor I was lucky enough to have a side room so noise etc wasn't a problem, She came back in the evening too, I had my section at around 9.30 am. She came both times the following day too, but didn't stay till the end in the evening slot. I went home the next day as I was missing her and dh too much.

Not really to do with section but i recently had a very nasty accident which resulted in a brake in five places in my leg, pin to be put in and i was in hospital for 2 1/2 weeks. My ds who is 3 could cope with about 30/45 mins at the bed then would want to go walking then come back for another cuddle/kiss play on the tv that needed a card in it.

Whoever was bringing dh and ds in would take ds to see the fish and walk around hospital to give dh and i some tiem alone.

I had CS 8 wks ago. I wondred if you have thought about how you will organise things with DD when you get home? Have you got a support network ready?

Is it worth trying to explain to DD how you will be when you get home in terms of your recovery?

DD was 2yrs 2mnths when I had DS by elective section last May. I would plan for mid-late afternoon for the older one to visit because you don't really know what time it will be ahead of time and it's good to be sitting up and have the feeling back in your legs when they come. I'd say about a one hour visit is good. But older one will probably need to someone to take them for a walk or other entertainment. You could also get a gift from new baby to older sybling and give it to them in the hospital. It makes them a part of it and gives them something to do whilst visiting.

Hiya - when I had an elective cs with ds, dd was 2 and a half. DP was with me for the birth then while I went to sleep he went home and got DD and brought her in later in the afternoon (my cs was at 8.30 in the morning) and he brought her every afternoong for 3/4 hours for the couple of days I was there. She was really good and didn't seem to get too bored, she was too much in awe of her new baby brother and very keen on 'helping' us with him!!

Just be mindful that you are having an elective and it will probably not be the time you plan. I was booked for an elective at 10.30am and did not get to theatre until almost 3.30pm.

My dd1 stayed at my mother's where my SIL was looking after her. Dd1 came and saw me the next afternoon - drip out, and I was up and about - not so scary we figured. I was in five nights and dd1 came about three times and then on the Saturday when dd2 and I came home. She did okay at the bedside but really was not that excited - probably about half an hour at tops. The first time she came and saw me she was a little confused - in that she could not work out what I was doing there and what was this noisy thing that was crying!! We have a couple of photos of her looking very very bemused and at times uncertain about this baby thing.

Dd1 was only 2y4mth. We had a gift for the baby to give to dd1 - which I had packed in my overnight bag.

As dh started a new job the day after dd2 was born - he had no leave. My SIL had her two little ones and my dd1 to look after - so dh would go and get dd1 after work and bring her up to see us and then take her home to bed. Meant she could have her dinner early - come and see me and then she was ready for bed.

Thanks for the good advice. I guess the best thing to do is to ask someone to bring her in for the 6pm visiting time rather than the 2pm one, as I would rather be sitting up first if possible, and like you say I might get "bumped" for emergency sections.

Bigbaubleeyes, thanks for that advice. I have my army of supporters mobilised and ready. DH has a full 2 weeks off and then MIL is coming for 2 weeks (mainly to do cleaning and take DD to nursery) as I wont be able to drive or walk that far. That gives me a month of house rest to get on my feet. My mum is happy to come for the 5th week if I'm not fed up with people by then!
DD has a Baby Annabell waiting for her at the hospital from her baby brother. I thought she might like to have one baby to take home with her, as she knows she is leaving me and her brother in the hospital for 2 sleeps! Good to know I'm on the right track with that bit!

DD has a baby Annabel. It quickly became known as DD's baby and Ds became "Mummy's baby" . So we each had one.

dd1 came in the following day (she stayed overnight with friends) with dh, presents were exchanged and it was lovely (except when she had a tantrum cos she didn't want to leave and accidentally kicked my c/s wound ..cue me ringing bell for extra morphine jab!)

bundle - ouch - that brings tears to my eyes thinking about it!! Hope you recovered ok! bet you were glad to spend another night in the relative safety of the hospital after that!

I stayed in 2 nights, and as we had no one else around the kids had to come for the full visits and did a good few hours each day. We bought them a colouring set each in advance, and they found a quiet corner to do that in. we also got tv vouchers for the bedside tv/phone and they watched that a bit too. Mine were 2.5 and 4.5 when I was having the dts.

it truly did bring tears to my eyes, hockeymum, but i was more concerned that dd1 was panicking because she had hurt me. all fine now