Midwife/home birth feeling unsettled

[Dorisday13]

I think I'm totally reading too much into this, but I believe you should go with your instincts and I just got a negative vibe from the midwife today, I'm ftm 28w and right from the start wanted a home birth. I saw a different midwife today who asked me 'why would I want a home birth with my first baby', I was a bit stunned, do I have to give a reason? I just said I didn't see a need to go to hospital but I was fine to go if necessary, then she spent some time saying 'anything at all outside normal they would want a transfer' which seems a bit ott, if it's not medically indicated. I just felt my bat senses tingle....has anyone else had these comments and did you experience pressure to transfer during a home birth. I'm thinking of hiring a doula as a birth advocate as I'm worried I'm going to be pushed into something I'm not happy with. Also why does it matter if it's my 1st baby or 10th. I'm ranting now, feel free to say I'm being over sensitive!
Thanks for reading :-)

It matters because you haven't had one before and no one can predict what sort of birth you will have. As long as you are aware that it might not go as planned I can't see a problem. Is she going to be your regular midwife or was it a one off? Have you you got a DP to back you up?

I see your point but I thought all births were different regardless of how many times you've done it, she was one of 2 regular midwives, DH is very supportive and won't take any crap maybe I'll take him with me next time. I don't want him to feel like he needs to birth advocate for me when really I just want us to focus on each other

I have had 3 births and would be quite happy to have a home birth because it is like shelling peas! I would be very surprised to have a difficult one after that. No one could have predicted this, let alone me who was worried, before the first. The problem is that you are not going to have a rapport with all midwives - some you get on with better than others.

Hire a doula. Then you don't need to worry.

She (MW) may feel a bit nervous, may not have much experience of homebirths. The more relaxed you are, the more likely you'll stay & deliver at home/the better you'll feel even if you transfer.

I had my first at home, supportive & experienced midwife who understands about the power of positive thinking. Had she/her colleagues been anxious I'd have hired a doula. (As it was I felt too anxious to go into labour - I believe - while one member of the MW team was on call!)

No, you don't need to give a reason for a home birth, as you say. It could just be a one off from that specific midwife? No reason not to plan for a HB for first labour, though of course it might not go to plan.

I would hire a doula anyway to be honest: I had one for my first birth (planned HB, transferred to hosp for a high blood pressure reading though that turned out to be a one off: I'm fine with that though). A doula will support both of you during a time when you don't know what will happen and how: she'll also keep you fed and watered and so forth. Crucially, my doula was excellent at advising me when not to push and how to push when I did need to; I'm sure that saved tearing.

I'm having a doula for my upcoming second birth too: again planned as a home birth, let's see how it goes.

I had a home birth with my first baby. My midwives were very experienced community midwives who encouraged homebirth but even so made it clear that they had 'low tolerance' for transfer with a first baby. In the end I had a very long labour and stayed at 3 cms for three days. A series of midwives visited me and made it clear that one of my options was to go in to have my waters broken or get pethidine but were equally supportive of me staying put. I had my daughter at home in the end to all our excitement. One midwife told me afterwards that they had been pretty sure I was heading for a C section because of the baby's position, but they never let on and they couldn't have been more supportive.

I had a home birth with my 1st and hoping for another with my 2nd (40+1 ... any day now ... )

IME it's really important that the midwife who attends your birth is positive about homebirth, and positive about her own abilities to support you at home. Some midwives just feel much more comfortable in a hospital environment and that is bound to affect their practice - e.g. they'd be more nervous and likely to push for a transfer in a situation that a more experienced community midwife could easily handle.

If yours is a low risk pregnancy, and the other midwives have been supportive, then the official guidelines are on your side. Perhaps you could ask this lady straight out: "Do you feel comfortable attending my home birth?" If the answer is no, then perhaps you could request you are attended by someone else!

I think part of the problem may also be that you don't know how you will find labour - I had my 'perfect' birth planned and while generally it followed my birth plan on paper, it was a completely different experience to what I imagined. And as (I think it's) 55% of first time home births result in hospital transfer, it sounds to me like she just wants to ensure you know it may not go to plan.

That is a good point rockchick - the transfer rate is 45% for first time mums and 12% for second and subsequent births.

Oh dear, I don't like the stats

It's the community midwives here which attend home births, I'm hoping that's a good sign as therefore they are used to that setting, you just get whoever is on call at the time tho...

Yes, transfer for first birth is exceptionally higher than subsequent births. That's why she was twitchy.

She may have had her reasons to feel twitchy, but there are ways of sussing out a first time mum without seeming unsupportive and/or critical of her choices

I think it's important that FTMs know the stats regarding transfer, but they also need to know that they are supported in their decision to birth at home.

I agree it's useful as a ftm to know the stats. As I recall though, it's 45% of those who planned a hb i.e includes those who end up being induced. Also I believe most transfers are for a) more pain relief or b) lack of progress - not emergency situations at all.

But redkites based on that reasoning, the 12% must also include transfers for the reasons you state. Nearly 4 times as many first time mums transfer in compared to subsequent, whatever the reasons are is fairly irrelevant.

I honestly think it was just an issue with the MWAH' attitude, and depends on how she meant it - it could have been a genuine "why do you want a home birth" in case you had a fear of hospital (for example) which would become an issue on transfer in if required. If she was saying it horrified about why you would want it, then different matter entirely! FWIW some local areas seem to be actively promoting home birth at present, saying how amazing it is so seems unlikely she would get away with this attitude for long, if people start complaining.

Well that's better odds than planning to go into hospital in the first place! The student midwife she was with actually commented I seemed to be a very calm person and therefore a good candidate for home birth (mw said nothing in response to this), let's just hope she's right and also that this baby turns up on time and negates the need for induction!