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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Can I manage on my own after a c-section?

39 replies

Emmiedarling · 25/07/2012 21:41

I am sceduled to have a c-section at 38 weeks - I am going to be a single Mum with no family in the area.

I am starting to get a bit worried about the practicalities of having surgery then to be in sole charge of a newborn. I will need to carry car seat/bath/feed/clean house etc.

Anyone been in this situation?

OP posts:
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RambleOn · 25/07/2012 21:43

I have and it was fine Smile

You won't be able to drive for 6 weeks anyway, bath in kitchen sink to avoid bending over, breastfeed, don't clean house until ready.

duchesse · 25/07/2012 21:55

Actually you can drive as soon as you are ready. As far as I can tell, the important things are:

-don't overdo it straight after the op; lift only the baby for the first few weeks- ask friends to lift anything else, put baby in a sling if it doesn't hurt (high up on your chest rather than lower) to avoid having to hoik a pushchair around

  • avoid infection in the wound at all costs. I personally would always always avoid having a bath in the maternity unit- they are not cleaned properly and the most you want your body to have to cope with is whatever germs you have already, not go around picking up new ones at a time like that) and stick to showers (I used a few drops of tea tree oil in my usual shower gel).

I would try if I were you to stay in the hospital for a few days longer than the average. There will be people on hand to help with feeding, looking after the baby while you go off for a shower (can probably park baby in nurses' station or in bathroom with you in its cot) etc, you will be fed regularly without having to exert yourself or go shopping.

While you still have time, make some meals to freeze so that you have something to wallop out into the microwave when needed.

Accept friends' offers- try to space them out so that you have a pleasant sufficiency of visitors but not too many. At first they will probably want to see the baby while it's tiny so you might want to arrange a "viewing day". Just let them come and go, let them make you cups of tea/bring food, make no effort to entertain them. Accept as many offers of help/visits etc as you want to but keep at least one day a week free of visitors so that you can schlep around or stay in bed if you feel like it. Do you have one especial friend who could field all the other friends and be your social secretary and liaison person and who would just turn up unexpectedly if you're having a bad day?

HappyAsASandboy · 25/07/2012 22:00

I think you will manage, though I would try to stick the freezer with ready meals or home cooked dinners before the birth as I found preparing food took far too much time and effort when dealing with the unpredictable demands of a newborn (or two, in my case!).

With regard to driving, I was driving after about 10 days. I felt able to drive and so checked with my insurance company and they said it was fine to drive as soon as I felt able to drive safely.

I would plan to minimise lifting anything other than your baby (or equivalent weight). Don't carry the car seat in and out; carry the baby to and from the car; don't Hoover; do washing in small batches etc. if you can arrange online shopping to be delivered then do, as pushing a trolley or carrying a basket could do some serious damage in the early days.

Also, I would recommend staying in hospital as long as you can. In the early days every day makes you more capable of lifting/carrying/thinking straight. Take advantage of your CS state to stay in and recover properly.

Good luck :)

poppy283 · 25/07/2012 22:02

Our local college places its childcare students with families with babies, you could try calling your nearest college to see if they do, a bit of free extra help.

schmee · 25/07/2012 22:06

Congratulations on your expected baby. I've been unlucky with post-op complications so I may have a slightly biased negative view, but I'd set up some support if you can.

Do you have offers of help? Would someone from your family be able to come and stay for a couple of weeks perhaps? Or you may be able to get some support from www.home-start.org.uk/needsupport/need_support.

I'm sure you will be absolutely fine, but it would be good to have some extra support so you can just focus on the baby.

GaryTankCommander · 25/07/2012 22:12

Although I wasn't on my own post c section, I just wanted to say that my c section recovery was fine, very quick. The ONLY thing I struggled to do on my own was to climb into the bath. Stairs, carrying my baby, changing nappies, driving etc... Was fine.

I'd recommend you do some meal planning etc.. or stock up on M&S ready meals and have them in the freezer. Have your home has ready as you can.

Good luck on your impending arrival!

Jules125 · 25/07/2012 22:17

I think you'll manage if everything goes smoothly but try to plan for any complications also if you possibly can as schmee says.

EG I needed someone to take me back to hospital 8 days post-CS due to a potentially serious infection. At that time, I could not look after the baby. I also lost a lot of blood and was very anaemic and shattered and would have really struggled on my own. However, if the hospital realise you are on your own I think they might keep you in longer. I was discharged early because it was clear I had help at home!

I didn't find the lifting (of my 5-6llb baby) a problem at all though. And I would just ignore cleaning for a while.

Good luck

QTPie · 25/07/2012 23:12

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Meglet · 25/07/2012 23:20

If I were you I would try and make sure I could stay in hospital for as long as possible. I only had 3 days after mine and there is no way I would have felt safe on my own. I took a couple of days worth of morphine home after my EMCS, if the house was on fire I wouldn't have moved very fast.

Fill your freezer up with ready meals, loads of cheap sleep suits for the baby to cut down on laundry (it's quite possible for several sleepsuits to be pooed/sicked on in one day), get a changing unit or cot top changer and start up grocery deliveries.

TBH if you can avoid it I would. I hope your midwife can sort out some help from Homestart for you.

bacere · 25/07/2012 23:24

I was told can't drive for first 6 weeks until given okay at docs. check out with your own medics/midwife to see what they say.

LadyWidmerpool · 25/07/2012 23:29

It could be tough and if I were you I would try to line up some help. The suggestion of a student is a very good one. Lots of people recover very quickly but not everyone. I hope it goes well, good luck.

QTPie · 26/07/2012 00:13

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This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Rooobs · 26/07/2012 00:23

it will be tough, but it is very doable, and I'm sure a lot of women do.

as you've no other children, you'll be able to just see to the basic needs of yourself and your baby. It's fabulous to have help - someone to cook/clean/shop but if it's just you two, then you can eat and sleep when you want and you don't need to get dressed at all if that's how you feel at first.

another tip would be to set up an account for online supermarket shopping so you can order your groceries. i don't know about the others, but Ocado have an app so you can order shopping from your phone whilst feeding the baby with the other hand.

Ignore cleaning.

If you do really struggle, ask for help - your community midwife/health visitor will know how to access practical support. Sometimes there are local charities or whatever who can provide helpers or whatever.

Good luck OP

minceorotherwise · 26/07/2012 00:25

Try to get anyone / everyone you can to support you
It's do- able but you need some support if you can get it
As someone said earlier, it's more the tiredness and whole issue of dealing with a newborn rather than the section, that will be the problem
I drove a week after, because I had no choice and was up and about. But everyone's different. I also had a lot of support luckily.
If you can draught anyone in, then do
Good luck

QTPie · 26/07/2012 09:33

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This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

elizaregina · 26/07/2012 10:06

there is a cleaning service advertised round me for new mothers for about 13 pounds they will come in a clean for an hour or more - not sure on details, but its a service that covers all type of mothers - new mums who only want a few hours as a one off - to working mums.

ask around about that....

elizaregina · 26/07/2012 10:09

PS

Dont worry too much about your section, you can have baby VB and still not be as well....a friend had forceps and has been on hands and knees crawling for days after and couldnt hold baby, and another had tears and struggled with probs down below - sitting etc...loo....

so dont be too fightened at the surgery, at least you know about it and can prepare accordingly, also hopefully your section will be at a normal regular time,
having contractions for days - keeping you awake so your so tired, no sleep or rest for days - then you have to go through labour - is also a shattering start to dealing with a new born!

LeafySuburbs · 26/07/2012 10:16

My insurer said I could drive when the doctor said so, doctor said when I was ready. So I was driving at 2weeks. Thank god as I had another child to get to school a mile away, and I couldn't have walked four miles a day! Make sure you keep carseat in the car and carry baby to and from the car.

Get shopping delivered. Use ready meals and take aways. I was back to cooking family dinners at two weeks though.

fruitybread · 26/07/2012 23:17

Agree with QTpie - I think you could manage if you had to, but so much better to have some support to call on if you need it. Ideally you would want to lie around with someone waiting on you a bit, sorting food/washing up/taking baby off you for ten minutes so you could have a poo and brush your teeth in peace.

At least with a cs you are thinking you have to plan ahead a bit. I had a cs and recovered v well (and was driving before 6 weeks, my insurers didn't care - it's no different to any other op, if you had your appendix out or a hysterectomy, you would have to take a sensible view as to when you could drive) -

I knew people who had babies the same time as me who had VBs and had awful 'recoveries'. One had forceps and basically had to stop breastfeeding as she was in so much pain from
an infection and botched stitch up that she couldn't sit down at all for weeks. And if you feed lying down, that limits you a bit when you go out...

So don't assume a cs will be grim. Recovery from instrumental vb or vb with bad tearing can be hideous but I suspect those mums are given shorter shrift than those of us who have cs's.

Brandnewbrighttomorrow · 26/07/2012 23:26

I've had three sections. With your first baby you will be on a steep learning curve (unless you have experience with babies, I had none Blush) and just dealing with the baby is enough to deal with without having to manage cooking and cleaning too. If you can drum up some help do, you will recover faster if all you need to do is look after baby, with someone on hand to look after you. The big upside of having a planned section is that you can book people in - I had a schedule pinned to the fridge of when friends and family would be coming over, just knowing someone would be about to help from time to time was very comforting. Speak to your midwife about what help is available locally.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 26/07/2012 23:41

I couldn't walk upstairs carrying my baby until I was about 5 weeks post-section, but I had awful problems with an infected wound.

I think the answer is - you might be fine, or you might not. I would try and organise some backup that you can call in if you are struggling. The last thing you need is having to go back to hospital because your wound has come open because you've overdone things.

McPhee · 26/07/2012 23:50

I'm nearly four weeks post c section, and I'm on my own. I won't lie, it's hard, so get some back up or something in place before hand. Unfortunately my scar has been and still is infected which has slowed me down an awful lot. As Alibaba has mentioned, carrying baby up and down stairs is something which I'm still unable to do 4 weeks on.

Good luck OP Thanks

elizaregina · 27/07/2012 11:43

mcphee

did you have the antibitoics...I thought they give you anti's to prevent infection before or jusyt after op>

OlympicRelay · 27/07/2012 11:56

I wouldn't drive before six weeks personally, its not worth it long term being a lone parent. Taxi driver will lift you buggy, carseat and shopping stored under buggy, for you.

lacroixsweetie · 27/07/2012 13:26

I would think it will be fairly tough emotionally and physically but not overwhelmingly so unless you are unfortunate enough to be ill. It might be useful to talk to your midwife about what would happen if you were?
I would definitely make arrangements to cater for an emergency. As a single mum you will need to do this anyway.
Emotionally, it's great having someone to talk to - if you haven't met other local mums through NCT or hypnobirthing yet, then try. They will all be near strangers until you all start emailing each other in the dead of night posting "is this normal". If you are really lucky you will have someone a week or two ahead of you who is dishing out all the lessons learned.

The CS is a bit like having the sorest abs workout from hell, it just goes on for a few weeks. You should feel pretty normal by 6 weeks but for the first two walking more than a 200 yards can be exhausting.
Your profile says you live in London - hopefully you don't live in an upstairs flat so taking a pram out won't be a feat of endurance. I would use a sling if you do, definitely don't try to lift the pram without help.
Leaving the hospital - if you are heading home in a taxi, a nurse or orderly will carry the car seat and bag out if you ask. I can't imagine a taxi driver who wouldn't be prepared to assist at the other end if forewarned.

Definitely meal plan unless you do awfully well with sleep deprivation. I found myself in a slight fog for literally months and weirdly finding the imagination to plan a meal was much harder than actually making the food!
Physically, by the time you leave the hospital you should be up and about wit h the baby eating well. If you have any reservations (or they do) about leaving they are usually happy for you to stay another day or two unless they are slammed with new mums. Even if they do discharge you earlier than you would like, you will have a health visitor turn up almost immediately - just don't blag it with "all is well" if it is not. Far better to have someone check in on you. I will discharged after 4 days with 3 daily injections of anticlotting stuff. I got the DH to do this (in the stomach) so get the HV in to do it if you are squeamish or make sure you can do it before you leave.

If you don't eat well, it will impact your BFing (if you plan to do it) so it is really worth getting some post op recommendations re food and nutrition and shopping appropriately. Fruit and veg to keep your bowels going etc. Porridge to get the milk going well.
It's useful to have some emergency formula/sterilizing bags/a bottle just in case you do have issues or are severely unwell. In a pinch though the hospital will help out.
If you get on well with your neighbours, ask if they would mind picking you up the occasional pint of milk in the early weeks or letting you know if they are running to the shops. They'll probably be glad to offer.
Stock up if funds permit - lots of cotton wool (avoid wipes), nappies etc so you don't run out unexpectedly. Don't get too silly, they move up through the nappy sizes quite quickly :)
First aid kit - thermometer, some basic baby stuff for rash etc. there's not a lot you can give a new born but it's worth avoiding having to take out a baby to a 24x7 pharmacy if you are by yourself
Emergency cash for taxis - once you are discharged if you have any concerns about the baby you will be sent to A&E. My DD didn't poo for 4 days after leaving hospital so we were on the verge when she finally exploded all over the car seat.
Set up your online grocery favourites now while you can think about it. It's a godsend but at some point you will forget an essential item and a £40 min delivery will force you out of the house when it is least convenient.

You will spend a lot of time feeding in the early weeks, even bottle feeding so a few tv box sets and cushions to prop you up will make all the difference.
Last thing - if people offer to help or bring anything when they visit then accept. Hand over the child and go and have a shower. :) Good luck !

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