Can you really 'J breathe' a baby out...will the midwife laugh??

[SquidgerInMyBelly]

Hi all,

38+ wks and was frightened - tried the Marie Mongan hypnobirthing book and cd and thought they were really helpful - I feel much more confident about the whole business which I suppose is half the battle. This approach advocates not doing forced pushing but to 'J' breathe the baby out i.e. you do a short big breath in through your nose and breathe it out down and up as though trying to breathe down into your vagina. Supposed to keep it all relaxed and open. We have both tried it (ha ha the insanity of pregnancy!!) does work when on the loo (sorry!) by way of shorter controlled little pushes.....but this kind of goes against everything I've seen (admittedly One Born Every Min) of what they tell and expect you to do.....can you really 'breathe' the baby out and will the midwife think I've lost the plot if I don't want to go for the big pushing as hard as you can approach????

Any thoughts - has anyone J'ed it out??

Much love xx

Let's see if we can increase your confidence and stop you being frightened....

I did hypnobirthing during my labour and everyone said they were amazed at how calm and quiet I was. I honestly didn't feel that much pain because of it.

That was until my DD decided not to pop out and I had every drug in the maternity unit but that's for another post.

Worked a treat for me, you will be fine. And if you're not, take all the drugs.

You won't give a shite what the mw or anyone else thinks of you, but if you're doing something a bit different you might want to make it clear in your birth plan that you want quiet without comment or coaching during the 2nd stage.

I breathed out 2 babies. The one without gas and air was better and more controlled.

I know nothing about hypnobirthing - sorry - and I have read on here lots of times about women hardly needing to push. But IME - 2 pretty normal deliveries - I couldn't BELIEVE how hard you have to push to get a baby out!

With DC2 I used the Marie Mongan CDs and breathing out technique and it was great. DS born in 40minutes after arriving at hospital, no pain relief and no tearing.

I had j breath in mind when I was pushing. Midwife didn't have a clue though. I think it helped but to be honest my body had taken over by then

In my experience you cant not push! My body wont let me not push, but controlled breathing definitely helps!

Watching with interest as I want to do the breathing out rather than pushing this time. Last time I had a lot of "pushing instruction" even though I didn't really feel like pushing (which I found annoying at the time), however, DD had a nuchal arm, which apparently takes away the urge to push.

Put in your birth plan that you don't want to be coached to push, unless there is an issue and they want baby out fast, they should leave you alone to do your thing, your birth partner can remind them. Being in water often helps with this too.
The "purple pushing" you see in OBEM is an outdated practice, it actually reduces the oxygen supply to the baby, makes him "tired" and makes intervention more likely, as demonstrated all the time on the show.

Marking place, as I'm due DC2 in a month.

With DS I also didn't have urge to push - despite only having gas & air - and MW was bellowing at me to push as it "was time". 2 hours later and a 2nd degree tear later DS came out.

Would love to breath this baby out, must check out Marie Mongan in next few weeks.

Please don't forget that they film about 1000 births for OBEM and they are, naturally, going to choose the most dramatic ones as opposed to the calm ones. You CAN breathe a baby out.

Oh go into to it all feeling confident that is the best best best thing you can do. No one will think you are wierd with whatever approach you take. A focused brain can help, it helped me no end. I wish you all the luck in the world. You will soon be holding your beautiful baby.

The techniques will help regardless of whether you're able to "breathe" your baby out or not, so feel confident that you're doing some really worthwhile preparation :) my labour ended in an emergency c section but the breathing techniques helped me cope with active labour and a long and fruitless 2nd stage, I definitely recommend!

Keep an open mind and just keep breathing!

Ps my friend is a mw and wouldnt laugh, she is planning to try hypnobirthing herself when she has a baby.

Two water births here and no active pushing. I save the gas and air till transition and do the breathing into the gas and air machine. Then I'm nicely merry and relaxed and my body seems to just pop them out.

I know I'm very lucky with my births but calmness and good breathing has got to help rather than hinder. Go in with a positive calm attitude and you'll be fine.

P.s even if it doesn't go as planned you'll get that baby out and have a lovely newborn just like the lady next door who breathed her baby out and the lady next door who had a caesarian. It's all just a route to the ultimate goal.

Good luck x

I hate all that cheer-leading stuff you see on OBEM. I couldn't bear that - I liked quiet and calm when I was giving birth. If I were doing it now, I'd be asking for dimmed lights too. I'm not sure I'd even have a partner there now, and I certainly wouldn't be having my mother, my sister, my friends...ugh. I needed to focus on me and my body, and the last thing I wanted was a room full of people distracting me.

I was subjected to the over-enthusiastic attentions of two (competing) midwives when my 3rd baby was stuck for a few minutes as he emerged. He was 11lbs 3oz and I do remember thinking "this feels funny" but it honestly wasn't that bad - the midwives, I assume, were panicking, pushing in front of each other, each giving me different instructions - and I ignored them. I remember thinking it was none of their business, and a few minutes later my big beautiful boy arrived, despite their conflicting advice.

I didn't use any particular techniques, but kept myself as peaceful as possible, by concentrating on my breathing, and mostly ignoring anyone who came into the room. Birth is about you and your baby, primarily - concentrate on helping your baby arrive in a gentle a fashion as possible. I'm the least assertive of women - or at least, I was back then - but it just felt natural to me to stay within myself.

I know intervention is sometimes necessary, and babies' lives can be dependent on it, but all this purple-faced pushing is just drama. For most women, your body will tell you when and how to push, if you're given peace to listen to it.

Yes, I always think things are a bit back to front. There is a lot a mw can do to 'set up' a good, efficient 2nd stage by helping during the first but then takings step back as the beautifully set up 2nd stage just 'happens'.

But we get it all the other way around, ignored, neglected frightened women during the first stage and then an all-action interventioin-full 2nd stage with heroics, usually as a result of a horrid first stage.

The natural urge to push is triggered by the baby stretching the right part of the birth canal, an active upright first stage (as never seen on OBEM) encourages this. It is also normal for this to occur some time after you are fully dilated, so frequent VEs and deliberate pushing as soon as you reach 10cm doesn't help. As long as baby is happy you can "rest and be thankful" until your body is ready to expel baby without all the cheerleading.

I gave birth five weeks ago. I was in the hospital and 3cms dilated from 5am until delivery at 4.53pm and barring a discussion at the beginning about my preferences, here's the sum total of what I was "told" to do:

9am - vaginal exam on my request. 4-5cms. Got two cocodamol so I could sleep (had been having contractions varying between 5 and 7 minutes apart for about 24 hours)
1pm - vaginal exam on my request, 5cms. Midwife said would check again at 4pm and if no progress would recommend breaking water (but up to me to decide as long as baby okay). Asked for pool to be filled.
3pm - got into pool.
3.30pm - waters went and midwife asked me to get out of pool to check they had gone as she couldn't tell, she checked in on baby and me at this point.
Sometime after 4pm, I asked for gas and air. Midwife asked was I sure. I said not really. Then went into transition for which I again got out of the pool and paced around.
4.20 - got back into the pool. Had some contractions then said "I think I need to push". Midwife said: "Just do what your body tells you to do". Asked for gas and air and she showed me how to use it.
4.53 pm - my baby boy was delivered and the midwive had to tell me how to get over the cord because I was on all fours. She then asked me to get out to deliver the placenta about 10 minutes later.

Literally, in the 12 hours I was there, there was hardly any talk/any intervention/anything. There was no coaching on pushing, I just did what my body told me to do. The midwive barely spoke to me purely when I spoke to her or it was otherwise needed.

It helps to tell the midwives when you call to say you are coming in that you are planning on doing hypnobirthing as certainly in the hospital I went to they try to allocate you someone who knows the principles and will be non-interventionist unless really necessary.

Thanks all for your advice and sharing your experiences - really can't wait to (quietly) get going.

xx

On DC#2 now, after a fairly straight-forward birth of DD. I pushed when I had a contraction/was told but feel the biggest hindrance to delivery was my position. I think it would have been quicker if I hadn't be laid back - I had been to the hospital at around 8pm and was 1cm, back again at 10pmish, admitted as I was 9cm & waters had gone. DD wasn't born until 00.42. I had been on all fours during contractions, so should have asked to be more mobile etc...

This time I'm attending NCT stretch, relax & breathe classes, partly to help with the pelvic pain I had with DD & don't want to aggrevate this this time, and partly to help avoid using the G&A last time (didn't like the feeling) and the 2nd degree tear. The class teacher says that the forced pushing, where you hold your breath etc, is counter-productive at times, certainly helps reduce yours and baby's oxygen supply, causes burst blood vessels over your face & doesn't work very efficiently. I will be attempting to use the breathing techniques used to deliver this baby & ignoring any directed pushing - I will push when my body tells me!! I am also hoping for a home birth but that's another story entirely...

So, in short, you can probably breathe a baby out

Glad to hear that others don't like the sound of coaching and that its possible to get midwives who will respect that (or who can be ignored). I've read the hypnobirthing book but haven't really done the exercises so I don't think I'll end up with a textbook hypnobirth.

But I would like it to be calm - I have asthma, and the whole purple faced pushing thing seems like it might make me breathless which can't be good for me or baby.

FutureNannyOgg ah, that explains why lying on the bed I had no urge to push but as soon as I got on the birthing stool, I really couldn't help myself - gravity helped baby 'get down to the right bit'! [light dawns]

I agree with tinker - I couldn't not push. The midwife didn't tell me to, I just did because I had too. I don't think OBEM is a very good example of what the vast majority of births are like. I had my first in a midwife led unit and they were amazing - always present but no bossiness or cheerleading whatsoever. DS was a pool birth, no tearing, 3 hours active labour. I wanted to be quiet and serene. In reality I was VERY VERY loud. Don't put any pressure on yourself, accept that it will be hard and good luck!

I felt like I needed to push for about 5 hours before the baby appeared - but I know now he was in a funny position. There was a lot of pressure on my thigh bones, and I think I mistook the pain for the need to push. Because when the time actually came, I only did three pushes (over about 5-10 minutes) and he popped out! I didn't go blue in the face, but I was very very loud.

I felt no urge to push, did what MW told me (ie Push harder than ever before in life) and tore really badly.

Next time.... OP your approach sounds great. Go for it.