3rd pregnancy but still nervous abt labour

[K4you]

I just can't stop thinking abt how labour will be this time. My first was abt 8hrs long and the hospital treated me very badly. They left me in a postnatal ward from abt 10pm and I was screaming like hell and the other mothers were just complaining. I had to stagger abt 5 times to the reception for help but each time they told me to go back to my bed. They finally decided after abt 5 hours that I could have an epidural and I gave birth shortly after. My 2nd was alot better, different hospital and only 2 hr labour the day i was meant to be induced. 1st degree tear but couldn't have any other pain relief apart from gas as i was already 10cm when i got to the hospital. i just keep fretting over if it will be easier this time or harder?

Hi K4you, it's so horrible they sometimes make you feel in the way that you don't have any control in your own labour. They don't listen or just say everything is normal. Unfortunately being too nice sometimes doesn't work. Make sure your birth partner understands your needs and feelings so he/she can help you to get proper care. Best of luck!!!

Have you read "Birth Skills" by Ju Ju Sundin? Such a great book for giving confidence in your ability to cope with labour and birth. Lots of practical advice, a bit fluffy round the edges but overall realistic and useful. It might help you.

I'm also expecting no. 3 and will be re-reading my dog eared copy, it's been round all my friends and everyone has said it helped.

Best wishes

I'm expecting my fourth in 2 months, and feel just as nervous. I had a horrible first labour, second labour was by contrast much better, but long, then last time I had a relatively quick (2 hours) labour, and felt really panicky and the mw was far from reassuring. She thought I should be calmer, being as it was my third. I felt terrified! I'm sure it will be easier third time round for you, because all the things that seemed alien will be a lot more familiar. Make sure the mw(s) working with you are aware of your anxieties though (maybe outline them briefly in your birth plan) and have your partner re-iterate to them how important it will be to support you positively... my good friend has advised me this time around that if I don't feel positive about the mw supporting me I should ask if another is available. I know in the stretched NHS I may not get that, but might be worth pursuing early on! Good luck - am sure things will be much much better.

I feel the same...I'm nearly 39 weeks now with third baby and starting to feel very nervous about going through it all again. First labour experience was horrendous - very long drawn out; unable to get an epidural for various reasons, and awful unsuccessful pushing stage ending in multiple ventouse attempts, episiotomy and finally safe arrival of big baby. Second time round was much better, but again, no epidural - and memories of just how painful it was are coming flooding back. I'd really like an epidural this time! I think it's natural to be scared.

I had my 3rd 12weeks ago and like you I was nervous as hell, ok I was petrified.

I did my best to clear my mind of my previous two labours, one not so bad but one bloody horrendous, and focus as much as possible on staying calm and active.

Whatever I did worked as it was a 4 hour labour from start to finish with a bit of gas and air. I came away from it really positive and happy and I'm certain my ds and I have a stronger bond because of it

I hope it happens quickly. My other 2 are really eager to meet the new baby. I can't wait to see them with the baby. Thanks for the replies.

Hello there I'm 39+5 with third getting anxious too! First was horrendous no time for any pain relief ! We just made it in time whole thing was only 4 hours ! 2nd much better only gas and air again about 4/5 hours I'm hoping I can keep focused and not freak out ! Will b interesting to see how we all find it .