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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

OBEM

47 replies

Pickles77 · 22/07/2012 21:13

One born every minute- its like a horror movie. Im terrified now.
Is it really like that? Im panicking :(

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TruthSweet · 22/07/2012 22:43

I refuse to watch it as I know I will get all ranty and cross with it. My BP is on the low side but I don't think it will ever get so low that I can watch OBEM with out triggering pre-eclampsia Wink

I am 31 weeks too and on baby no. 4. I still have my 'oh no I'll just stay pg forever' moments but I know it's manageable and in fact I am looking forward to the birth in some ways as pushing is hard but it does feel, in a very strange way, good (not sexy good I hasten to add!). Nothing like pushing out an 8lb 10oz baby on just G&A with no tears to make you feel like a Mama Bear!

Pastabee · 23/07/2012 07:17

Don't watch! It's all very dramatic. I'm sure no one would have minded if I screamed the hospital down but in reality it was all very calm. I was set to have whatever pain relief I needed to get through it but I coped fine with g&a.

The thing with labour pain is it just stops.... There's no pain like it. Ever other type of pain 'eases' over time. The more intense and painful it gets the closer your baby is and then it is just all over and you have a baby to snuggle.

My best tip for any first time mum is pushing hurts less than transition. My friend warned me of this thank goodness..... Don't be panicking about how you'll push the baby out given how painful the final contractions are as it really reduces when you're pushing. It's a relief to be pushing!

SarryB · 23/07/2012 10:10

Is the 20 year old first timer the one that really screamed?

I screamed like MAD. I felt it really helped and told the midwife to shut up when she told me screaming wouldn't help. It was brilliant to be able to scream that loudly, like I was releasing all the pent-up stress I'd had during pregnancy. It was very animalistic.

I only screamed for about 5 minutes, then they gave me morphine - 10 minutes and 3 long pushes later, he arrived.

FutureNannyOgg · 23/07/2012 10:34

OBEM is sensationalist, its entertainment. There is a disproportionate amount of drama and medical intervention. I would suggest you take it with a large pinch of salt or avoid.

Pickles77 · 23/07/2012 10:42

Phew I'm feeling better now Grin

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Rainbowbabyhope · 23/07/2012 11:29

OBEM is total rubbish - birth is nothing like that in reality. Its just like a hard workout at the gym. Main tip is to absolutely refuse to go anywhere near the hospital bed, even at the beginning of labour and do not to lie flat on your back but keep on your feet and keep moving. My DD was stillborn early this year and by the time I was in labour we expected this to be the outcome and so I didn't even have the 'incentive' of a healthy baby at the end of it to cuddle. Because of my circumstances none of the midwives told me I was in labour and because this was my first baby I didn't even realise that I was in labour until she was born two hours later! This is because I have been taught all my life that childbirth = pain so I was waiting for the pain to tell me that I was in labour. Turns out this is not the case at all. You will only feel pain if you expect to feel it and if you don't listen to what your body is telling you what to do.

Pickles77 · 23/07/2012 11:42

Thank you rainbow, I'm so sorry for your loss x

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thegingerone · 23/07/2012 12:11

Rainbow. So sorry for your loss.

Pickles. OBEM is entertainment as has been said before. Only the exciting ones get on!
Having said that I had two births worthy of being filmed! First one was long and drawn out and I wished I'd been aware of the fact that labour can take ages! second birth was all drama and rushing down corridors for emergency cs. My point though is that i was surrounded by people who knew what they were doing and neither birth scarred me emotionally for life or put me off getting pg again.
When dc3 was born last Nov I had a really "boring" drug free short labour and birth. (Because other births were using epidurals I was heard to exclaim "Oh gosh. It does sting a bit" when head crownned . Not scream the hospital down!)

Try to stay calm during labour. Try to stay upright and walking around as much as you can. Good luck.

StarlightWithAsteroid · 23/07/2012 16:55

I agree that fighting against your body is what makes it painful. This is more likely to happen, intentionally or not, in a hospital setting, following precautionary procedures and giving your body over to someone else to control/interpret.

Sorr for your loss Rainbow.

TeaandHobnobs · 23/07/2012 17:13

But a hospital birth doesn't necessarily equal bad birth.

I had a premature birth, and didn't have control over many things, but I used hypnobirthing breathing exercises and got through the whole thing pretty calmly. In fact, others might look at my birth story and think it was awful, but I found it positive and empowering.

Pickles, I'd really recommend hypnobirthing, if you are interested in that. I was terrified of birth (also not helped by watching OBEM) but what I learnt at hypnobirthing helped me massively.

StarlightWithAsteroid · 23/07/2012 17:25

Yes. Hypnobirthing does give you good control, if not of external events.

GoldenBanana · 23/07/2012 17:27

The first 2 series of OBEM were filmed locally to me. All the pregnant women I spoke to at that time were really worried about going into labour and being watched/filmed. Horrid. As VivaLeBeaver says, if you saw "ordinary" labour it'd be really dull TV so they only show the more, ahem, "unusual" people! I honestly don't think it did the local mat unit any favours being involved in that programme but maybe more (low risk) women are now using the standalone birth centre (in the New Forest) where they're more likely to get a straightforward experience?! If you really are worried about giving birth maybe you'd like to do some classes to help you feel more confident? Natal Hypnotherapy run workshops in various places around the country and they really work to help reduce fear and anxiety plus you can buy CDs to listen to at home to help you feel much more positive.

StarlightWithAsteroid · 23/07/2012 17:35

And I can second what viva said about coping. In my last birth my waters were bulging through my cervix putting a huge pressure down below and half way though each contraction a blood-curling scream came out of my mouth. I have no idea why, it barely even hurt although felt intense.

I asked my DH about it afterwards and suggested he might have thought I was really suffering but his less than satisfactory response, although accurate, was that no, he didn't think it was that bad as he's seen me in labour before and is used to how I cope.

thunksheadontable · 23/07/2012 17:42

I gave birth 5 weeks ago to dc2, and last night I was watching an episode of House where he operates on his own leg (gorey!) and I said to dh, you know, I'm 100% DEFINITE labour didn't hurt as much as that. In fact, I can think of a lot of pain I've experienced that was worse than labour. I broke a toe when I was ten and had to walk around on it all day, for example. A lumbar puncture headache - MUCH worse.

Transition was what I was most afraid of, because in my first labour, I was induced and got the epidural at 4cms. Knowing this and hearing all about transition, I was petrified.. I knew that the pain was tough to cope with at 4cms on the drip, how would I manage this intense pain of transition when I couldn't manage beyond 4cms on my first? As it turned out, transition on my second didn't feel any more painful than 4cms on my first.

What transition actually felt like was being totally emotionally overwhelmed, as though I had a moment of clarity that I was alone in the world and that no one could do this for me coupled with immense doubt that I could pull it off. The physical pain was completely incomparable to that strange feeling of desperate isolation... YET when I look back, I think transition was sort of awesome. It was such a powerful, crazy feeling that I sort of knew was transition but didn't at the same time. I was swept away by the strength of it but when it passed I felt this amazing sense of calm and readiness - and a few short contractions later, I was ready to push. Pushing was so purposeful.. also a bit scary in places as there were moments I was afraid it wouldn't happen for me (my last birth was assisted) but again, painwise, it really was no big deal. Got gas and air for the first time when starting to push and it was quite pleasant and in what seemed like no time at all, I got to meet my beautiful little screaming baby boy and see with amazement how he looked just like his big brother. I would do it all again tomorrow, I really would. The pain was fine. I felt really lucky to have been able to do it as I did and feel it all.

Having said that, couldn't have done it without Juju Sundin's Birth Skills book. Sniffing on a facecloth doused with clary sage and banging the bejaysus out of a maracas belonging to my toddler eased so many of my stronger contractions (she tells you to do something active to "match the pain" to distract you and get you through). Also had a birthing ball, an Ipod shuffle blaring out through one of these and two boxes of Nutrigrain (ate SEVEN in my 18 hour labour!).

Good luck!

Pickles77 · 23/07/2012 17:44

Im going to look into the hyponobirthing.

I found the main midwife on the first two series really patronising, she wouldn't have reassured me!

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YodasMummy · 23/07/2012 18:56

They only show the "dramatic" births - because that's what makes "good tv" ;)

PicklesThePottyMouthedParrot · 23/07/2012 18:57

Me too pickles! I'm having a consultation in a couple of weeks if my scan goes ok!

VivaLeBeaver · 23/07/2012 19:55

Years ago there was a similar series called Babes In The Wood which was filmed at the birthing centre in the New Forest. I seem to remember it being a lot calmer and That it was a more balanced programme.

lola88 · 23/07/2012 20:29

My labour was like something from OBEM i was induced none of the drugs worked properly even the epidural i had to consultants argueing infront of me about iff i should be sectioned then went for the section but ended up with forceps DS was blue and in shock i wouldn't stop bleeding BUT i cn honestly say it wasn't as bad as it would have looked on TV... or sounds now i'm typing it. You just get in the zone and get on with it i was 19 hours but can only remember about 3 hours worth.

AuntPepita · 23/07/2012 20:35

Yes - Babes in the Wood - now that is worth watching - it was repeated on Discovery Home and last year/year before, maybe now (but we don't get the channel anymore)

SarryB · 24/07/2012 12:21

I would like to add that as bloody painful as it was for me (back to back, thought I was going to die from the pain at one point), I can't wait to get pregnant and do it all over again.

Ushy · 27/07/2012 18:05

Sorry to join the chorus of epidural advocates but my birth without an epidural was exactly the horror story that you see on OBEM.

I know some people say it is a way of coping but if you look at the posts about being denied epidurals, I am not so sure.

I watched OBEM US version and no one seemed to be screaming in pain - I would certainly favour giving birth in the US than in UK.

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