wwyd

[grantham84]

So I am booked in for a csection on a Tuesday. DH can only take 3 days off and has agreed to work from home for 2 days.
I am obviously quite wary about this but obviously have to get on with it.
My question is what would you prefer in terms of sorting out which days are hols and when dh should work from home?
OBv Tuesday will be holiday but is thinking of working from home Wednesday as I will still be in hospital than. Not sure I fancy being in hospital with a newborn without him.
WWYD

Everyones different but I really needed my other half with me in hospital through the day - I would sit there counting the minutes til he was allowed on the ward. The first 24hrs I couldnt move or lift my baby and its a hassle asking the midwives every single time you want to feed him/her

I too would want my partner with me in hospital. Is that 5 days in total he can be around? If so, I'd have the first 3 days as holiday and then him working at home on days 4 & 5 as you should be out and home by day 4 or 5. It's a tricky decision. So much depends on how the c-section goes, and how quickly you recover. I guess every birth is different in recovery - vaginal and c-section. For example, the fire alarm went off 7 hours (ish) after my c-section and we all had to get out of bed and push our babies in their cots to the assembly point! I was standing there for 10 minutes before one of the midwives remembered i was a c-section (you'd have thought carrying my bag of wee around with me would be a dead giveaway!! ). I was in a bit of shock, but actually walking around was ok and I don't remember any pain.

For me, It's the boredom of the extra days in hospital, watching vaginal deliveries who came in after you, go home before you! By day 4 i was climbing the go walls wanting to go home! So, I'd definitely opt for your partner being with you in hospital.

It might be worth checking with the hospital how long you are expected to be in for - after both of my sections I was out the next day, it's common practice locally, so perhaps it would be a good day for him to work from home on that day and then be able to support you after you're home? FWIW I was encouraged to be up & mobile on the same day as having the section, was a bit sore but on plenty of painkillers so it was manageable, as was picking up to feed, change etc. Everyone's different. Good luck x

Thank you for your thoughts/suggestions. I will definately be in for at least 2 nights. I am edging towards asking him to be at hospital with me. Think it will be hard having no visitors till 2pm on 1st full day after section.

Why can your DH only take so little time off? His employer is obliged to give him his paternity leave - aren't they?

He could get paternity leave but he would only be paid spp which is only a small % of his salary. Unfortunately with our outgoings we couldn't afford to lose the salary.
Originally when we discussed this and told him how unworkable it is he was keen to say his mum would help.
However, when I told him csection booked he said so we need to sort out breakfast and after school club. Actually no your mum can do that so you can be at the hospital all day and not have to leave hospital to pick up dc from school.

i would prefer to have him off once home tbh!

I think I would rather manage while in hospital (and ask for other visitors if possible) and have him take his days off when you're home. But, really, it's your decision- do whatever you think will help you most at the time.

I didn't really want DH at the hospital much after having DS although I had a VB so no experience of CS. I gave birth at 10am, and sent him home once I was settled on the ward (around 1.30) as I wanted to be able to doze as and when DS did, he came back at normal visiting hours.

Is there anyone else who could stay with you in hospital? Its usually your birth partner, but if you explain the situation and tell them he is happy to just come at visiting hours, would your mum or a friend be able to be with you on post natal ward? Doubt if they would mind, as long as it was only one person. Good luck!