Second baby and scared witless after pg complications, an ESC and hemorrhaging 1st time

[ATourchOfInsanity]

I have just found out I am pg with my second. I am really hoping some of you can put my mind at rest here, as I am trying to keep calm (yes, I am only 7 weeks or so and petrified, what a plonker!).

My first pg was not majorly bad, but I did develop 3 signs of DVT and had to have a leg ultrasound (right leg thankfully) and they caught it in time - was 33wks pg. I was also hugely anemic. I went to 17 days overdue, if you count the 3 days in labour. I failed to dilate past 7cm on Oxytocin and they said I was not progressing fast enough and was too exhausted to push. So I had an Emergency C-section. Unfortunately somehow I could still feel the catheter in my urethra throughout the operation and kicked out, causing me to hemorrhage. I had been calling out to the anesthetist about it and was merely getting further doses of whatever epidural through the tube over my shoulder (I think I counted 4) and then a mask with gas in, which didn't stop the pain, just made me unable to talk. I realise now that I was hemorrhaging and this was necessary to sedate me as I kicked out, but at the time I was scared and was not expecting the pain.

My baby was beautiful and healthy though, and a whopping 10Ibs 1Oz DD :-)

I didn't really feel myself (v.dopey and confused) for about a week after the op and was in tremendous pain. My scar is still a thick red line 11 months on and I am pretty petrified about many things that I really hope some of you can put my mind to rest about and/or offer suggestions for this birth:

1. Risk of rupture of old scar - still feels tingly and almost achy inside?
2. Will my 2nd baby be as big or bigger? See above.
3. Risk of another c-section - could mean hysterectomy and future problems for another baby plus risk of hemorrhaging again (is this more likely if happened before?)
4. If I try for a VBAC then end up with another Emergency C-Sect then the same pain in urethra will happen (am I wired wrongly down there? Is it because it wasn't a full spinal block?)
5. I don't know if I can look after a toddler and NB if I have the same pain/healing time as before...

Any advice is welcome - may just need a slap!

Desperate and obvious BUMP!!!

Sounds more like you need a hug! (Sorry MN). Each labour is totally different. It's early days but given what you experienced with your first I am not surprised you are anxious. Talk to your MW and discuss your options.
My second was a smaller, (much) faster baby and a totally different labour.
Sounds like you need to talk through your first birth before planning for this one. Who will be with you? You need someone willing to speak up for you and what you want.
Good luck and enjoy number 2!

Thanks Wofie.
Had my MW appt yesterday and she was a bit useless unfortunately. She wrote down in the box for complications in previous labour: NONE.
When I questioned it she said "oh, no one looks at that bit anyway". She also refused to talk about the fact this wasn't planned and refused to listen to me when I was explaining I was worried about depression. Kept on saying "oh it's just a shock though, isn't it" and not listening.
I have considered asking for a new MW but not sure how to go about this?
I think it is because she wouldn't talk properly about it I have wound myself up a bit tbh :-(

Oh wow she sounds useless! Can you see GP and discuss your worries/ask for a different MW?

Firstly congratulations! You should be under consultant led care due to your previous cs, so you will have the opportunity to discuss your previous delivery with him or her, and then make plans for this pregnancy. I saw mine at 22 weeks, and every few weeks since then. It might also be worth you requesting a copy of your previous birth notes and going through them with either the consultant or a mw. I also saw a specialist counselling mw a few times to discuss my previous birth and plans for this one (I'm booked for an elcs).

Oh and I'm lucky that my mw has been fantastic and very supportive. I'd definitely consider requesting a change of mw, if you get in touch with the supervisor of mws they should be able to help you.

You are not a plonker or any of the other things you are calling yourself. It sounds like you had a traumatic birth and it's no wonder you're scared. There's nothing worse for fear than having it dismissed. My midwife is the same!

So yes I'd try & get a different midwife & also make an appointment to discuss your first birth.

What you need is to understand what happened & why with your first birth. Then you need to work out what sort of birth you want this time & get the full support of the hospital to help make it possible. While there can be no guarantees, just having the support and being listened to is invaluable.

Oh thank you guys. I had a leaflet in the bounty pack about the Supervisor of MW's and wondered if that was something I should try. I do have a consultant but not quite sure when I get to see her. MW said she would have all of my records and would go over them with me but I don't think I see her for another 2 months or so?

I think it is just a choice of whether to try for a VBAC and risk another emergency section, or to ELSC and risk feeling the catheter again. I wish they could do a check on me to see if my nethers are wired weirdly!

I would aim to get this sorted sooner rather than later just so that you font spend the entire pregnancy worrying.

Can you phone the maternity department who can point you in the right direction? I think it's called a birth debrief where you can go over your notes and ask questions. Say you are suffering anxiety and can't sleep with worry etc.

Mobly - not far from the truth really - only got 4hrs last night before my DD woke us up this morning! Will call them tonight and see if I can get anywhere. Thanks for that.

Good luck

ATourchOfInsanity

she sounds like my second time round MW, after one appt I went out in tears as she was so unhelpful, I asked the docs receptionsists if it was possible to change MW but still have same docs, they said YES>

I am now back with my old MW I had with DD1 who is AMAZING, on a temporay basis, but still registered with normal surgery for docs.

The receptionists very taken back when I said I wanted to change, saying mine was the head MW, I said that makes me even more shocked at her behaviour.,

Then another friend told me she too had broken down in tears after seeing this MW, and SHE HEARD a lady talking about her in a scan waiting room, ( she has a distinticive name) saying she too was in tears....

SO - CHANGE THE MW! it can be done! Dont put up with it,

you can ring your midwife office - mine was at local hospital/and or - just ring round other surgeries and ask if you can join on a temp basis for MW only.