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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Finding out sex of baby

17 replies

Snook · 01/03/2006 13:57

Have my 20 week scan in 2 weeks and can't decide whether to find out the sex of the baby. I have a 2 year old daughter already and my husband also has 2 daughters from a previous marriage, so bit worried that if I find out it's a girl people/family may be disappointed. Anyone got any advice??

OP posts:

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helsi · 01/03/2006 13:58

its nothing to do with anyone else. I found out (and its still not accurate) 1) because I am far too nosy and 2) because dd1 was so adamant that it was girl that I hard a hard time trying to tell her it might be boy. Really it was awful so I decided to find out so that I could have 20 weeks talking her round.

Angeliz · 01/03/2006 14:00

Sod' em!

If you want to know, find out. If you think you're family will be on your case don't tell them.
(My Dad wants me to have a boy this time too!!! Not bothered myself, i love girls)

Angeliz · 01/03/2006 14:01

helsi, dd1 was like that She adores her sister now but is quite willing to accept either this time!

controlfreaky · 01/03/2006 14:03

do what YOU want... i do think you dont get many true (nice) suprises in life do you.

Auntymandy · 01/03/2006 14:05

If it is a girl there is nothing you can do is there!
I personally wouldnt ask, but its up to you!

OldieMum · 01/03/2006 14:16

We found out both for DD and for DS (whose sex I found out at the 20-week scan this week). This is the first time I've written DS and it feels nice...

I echo the others' comments - do what you want to do. It's your baby, not other people's. My own view was that it's much easier to imagine the baby as a person when I know it's sex. Indeed I was surprised at how difficult it was to imagine someone without knowing what sex they are. I already feel much closer to this baby because I know he's a he.

hockeymum · 01/03/2006 14:23

I didn't find out with dd 3 years ago but flet like I needed to know this time as dd was convinced it was a girl, as was I and I felt that I needed to prepare us. I found out it is a boy. I'm really pleased I know as I've got used to the idea and bought loads of cute blue stuff.

It is totally up to you whether you find out or not, but be sure that you want to know if you do find out. Good luck

Original poster

Snook · 01/03/2006 14:29

Thankyou! Not 100% sure I want to find out so think I am leaning towards not finding out at the moment - people will be so in love with the baby when they see it they won't care about the sex! Sorry to appear ignorant but am new to this site - what do DD & DS stand for?

OP posts:

Enid · 01/03/2006 14:43

I didnt find out with any of mine - I have two dds and there was a lot of pressure to find out the sex of this baby. I asked the sonographer not to tell me but if she could be 100% sure. She said she couldnt as the baby had his/her legs crossed with the cord between them so really impossible to tell.

I am glad I didnt find out. I always like watching the baby progs when the parents don't know what they are getting

Enid · 01/03/2006 14:44

sorry,
dd-= dear/darling daughter
ds= dear/darling son

mouseman · 01/03/2006 14:52

Our dd was a surprise but we decided to find out the sex of our 2nd baby. Knowing that she was going to have a baby brother made it seem much more real for dd and she bonded really quickly. It was a little strange knowing, for me.

agalch · 01/03/2006 15:25

Here in Scotland we are not told the sex.I didn't know for ds1 ds2 or dd and although i am in a position financially to have a private scan this time for baby no4 i have chosen not to.I quite like having a surprise at the end!!

uwila · 01/03/2006 15:37

i think you should find out if you care which it is. So, if you have your heart set on another girl and then finding out it's a boy on the big day will be a disappointment, then find out ahead of time to get your head around it before the birth so that you can have a lovely day.

But, if you are happy to be surprised and don't care which way it goes, then you could wait and find out.

If it was me, I would absolutely want to know. I just haven't got that kind of patience. I'd lke the sex to be indicated on the pregnancy test.

SoupDragon · 01/03/2006 16:01

I found out with DD and simply didn't tell anyone until she was born.

pebblemum · 01/03/2006 16:13

Both my sons were surprises right up to the end especially as on both occasions people had predicted I would have girls

We are currently discussing whether to go for no.3 and I think if we decide to I may want to know the sex before it is born. This is mainly because I have my heart set on a little girl, I would love a boy if thats what it was but worry that I may feel disapointed (thats sounds horrible doesnt it)and if given prior warning I would have plenty of time to get used to the idea. Then again though if I found out I was having a girl I may wish I had waited so that it was a surprise on the day. I guess it is quite a hard decision to make, isnt it? Think i still need to give no.3 a lot of thought!!

Christie · 01/03/2006 17:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

teacups · 01/03/2006 20:08

I'm with oldiemum... I found out that dd was a girl and it made me feel much more that i was having a baby rather than just being pregnant if you see what I mean. I focused very much on the pregnancy rahter than the end result til then.

That said, I am the only one of all my friends to find out. I can see the reasons for keeping the surprise until the day. I think you just have to do what you and DP think is right for your family. The sex was decided months ago so you can't change it - it is just a Q of whether you want to prepare for it now or have the thrill with the rest of the family on the day.

And I agree that I am FAR too nosey not to know....if the sonographer knew, I felt I had to!!!

Let us know what you decide!

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