Just wanted to share this as a number of you were so helpful a few months back when I first started seeing the consultant about birth options this time around after an EMCS at 8cm for failure to progress/fetal distress with DS1 5 years ago (www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1427578-Nervous-about-consultants-appointment)
Time has flown, and I'm 35+5 now with DC2. After an underwhelming first appointment with one of the registrars at the hospital (who didn't even have my notes from last time), and a not really any better 2nd appt at 28 weeks, I had a final "decision-making" appt on Thursday at 35+3.
Finally got to meet my actual consultant, and was so pleasantly surprised, she was lovely, and very, very supportive. I'd gone in there half expecting a battle, still in two minds about what I wanted to do, having been diagnosed as suffering from panic attacks over the last few weeks anf referred to specialist mental health midwife, all relating to anxiety over DS1's birth and what will happen this time around.
I had what seemed in my mind like a slightly crazy compromise plan in my head, of attempting VBAC if I went into natural labour, and ELCS if not, but wasn't sure if this would be allowed, previous conversations had suggested one or the other. Consultant was more than happy with this, and has agreed to allow me to try VBAC if I go into spontaneous labour before my due date, and ELCS is now booked for 40+0 if I don't, with no further problems raised. There's a chance that this will happen, as I went into spontaneous labour with DS1 at 39+5, and there's a query over my dates, so by my calculation (and scans), ELCS is actually booked for 40+4 (I really don't want to go any more overdue, as DS1 was 9lb at 40+0, and this one is looking to be a similar size!).
Ref the VBAC, I was worried about being strapped down on the monitor labouring on my back, which is where things went wrong with DS1. She confirmed that although continous monitoring is recommended, they encourange movement within the scope of the lead, and staying upright, and actively encourage VBAC-ers to NOT be on the bed on their backs - phew! She also confirmed that they're willing to maintain the "experience" if it comes down to ELCS (or that any decision for EMCS will hopefully be a lot earlier and calmer than last time, so more like an unscheduled ELCS), with things like lowering the screen.
All this adds up to me being able to maintain an element of control over what happens, whichever way DC2 eventually enters the world, which was the major concern and almost certainly the underlying cause of the anxiety and panic attacks.
I guess I just wanted to share this to perhaps give some other people some hope - I was starting to feel really scared about the whole process again, worried about being railroaded into decisions that I wasn't entirely happy with, and being completely out of control again. I'm feeling so much happier now about what's been agreed, and much more content to "go with the flow" as neither option scares the life out of me any more - so hopefully I can now sit back and enjoy the last four weeks or so of this pregnancy. I just wish more consultants could be like mine has turned out to be (and she could teach her registrars a thing or two as well!)
Sorry - this turned into a bit of an essay again! 