Would you recommend a home birth for DC1

[CakeBump]

I have started to consider the options for where I'll have DC1, due in December.

I like the idea of a home birth, but most home births which I hear about are not for a first child.

My thought process is more or less:

Pros
Much more comfortable at home
No being on a ward with screaming babies and other mothers and not getting any sleep
I am non-UK and am worried about being in hospital with lots of doctors and nurses and not understanding everything that is happening because of the language barrier.
We have a very experienced midwife in the village.
DP is very pro-home birth (although tbf he also has no idea what is involved)
We may get snowed in in December so getting to hospital might not be possible.
It will be Christmas, and the idea of spending it in a foreign hospital doesn't appeal.

Cons
Its DC1 and for both me and DP and neither of us have a clue what we're doing.
I don't know how I'm going to cope with the pain.
Even gas and air may not be available here, unless I buy/hire my own.
The mess?
Labour may go on for days and I might be panicky.
Basically, I don't know how I'm going to react at all to labour.

I would really welcome any input on this from someone who has been through it or is considering a home birth.

Many thanks

Your English is excellent (assuming you wrote this) why do you doubt your own English ? You still need to speak in English to a midwife no matter where you decide to give birth . is it your accent that you feel conscious about?

What's the reputation of your local midwife like? And how far is your nearest hospital in case of an emergency. Taking consideration of snow ,how long would that journey take too ?

Rhianna, I read it as the poster is not in the UK.

OP, it might help if we knew what country you are talking about- there may be posters who have experience of the local maternity provision?

I had a homebirth for my first child, however I am in UK so couldn't give advice about specifics where you are. Here G&A is available if you need it (ended up not using it) and think you can get a prescription for pethedine too.

I used a TENS machine, friends have hired birth pools.

I wouldn't worry about things like mess, but concentrate on what kind of care you will get at home/hospital. I live in a city and so transfer to local hospital would have been v quick, which helped us make the decision to go for home birth.

You haven't put the biggest "con", which is the distance from hospital if something goes wrong and you need a caesarean or you or your baby need some other form of treatment that can only be given in hospital?

I'm not saying this should necessarily put you off a homebirth but it should be on your list of considerations I'd have thought!

Okay I am assuming you are not in the UK?

My biggest worry about a Home Birth in your case is your comment about you may not be able to get to hospital because of snow. What provision is there to get you to hospital in a real emergency?
If it were medically advisable (which it unfortunately really never was for me) I would have certainly had from DC2 at home. BUT in a real emergency they could get me to the hospital in minutes, I don't know what my upper limit in time would be, but I certainly have one.
Does the country you are in allow gas and air? What pain relief can the midwife offer you? (Don't discount it all at this stage.)

Finally, the best laid plans...be prepared for you not being able to have what you want or plan for. With my DC1 I had to have a planned CS (good medical reasons). With DC3 we came very very close to an unplanned homebirth. So do be prepared for changes to your plans.

Thanks for the replies everyone - I had to go and walk the dog I'm sorry...

I'm English, but living in Germany. We live in a small village in the countryside, but the nearest hospital is only around 20 minutes away, excepting adverse weather conditions. The midwife lives down the road.

I know if there's complications I could be whisked off to hospital anyway, and that's just one of those things... But the hospital option is there if I need it.

I'll have to look at the pain relief medication options as at the moment I'm not sure what would be available.

I'm getting the general impression from friends that home birth is still seen as a bit of a "hippy" option here....

I suppose the main thing I'm worrying about is panicking and not managing the pain, although I'm not normally a panicky kind if person I'm not sure how I'm going to react to childbirth!

Visit maternity wards first.

Many have really nice 2home-from-home" rooms.

Cottage hosiptals are a viable half-way house - some pain meds, fast trtansport to hospital if any problems.

Also chat with midwife - HB require two midwives (I think) - out here they are often too understaffed to attend.

I really do think hospital is better, childbirth can be utterly awful.

"I really do think hospital is better, childbirth can be utterly awful"

Though with respect, I'm not sure that being in hospital is going to make the experience any more pleasant.

It certainly didn't for me.

OP - if you can't manage the pain you transfer in to hospital and have pain relief. This is common for first labours - women just get knackered with coping, but transfer isn't usually a massive problem.

Talk to your midwife about transfer arrangements. I think that's very important.

I thought Germany was quite pro home birth? I know a couple of Germans here who both had home births for their first, the way they talked it seemed pretty common.

I have never given birth in hospital :) I was quite overwhelmmed by labour, you can prepare all you like but you don't know what it will be like. I got through a lot of gas and air but it was still a good experience and lovely to be at home in my bed with dh and the baby afterwards.

I had a home birth with DC1 and everything went very smoothly. Only 5 hours from start to finish (once I belated realised I was in labour) and the only pain relief I had was the birthing pool we hired. I ended up catching DD myself as the MW's were still unpacking everything in the other room...

Admittedly the lack of additional pain relief is because I stubbornly didn't want to use the Pethedine in my fridge and the G&A didn't show up in time. But even so, the pain was manageable, because it felt productive and it came in waves with enough time to recover between each contraction. I also felt confident that things like the Pethedine were there if I needed them.

I found I reacted to the pain in the same way I usually do, which is to go quiet and struggle through it. So look at how you usually react to pain for an idea of how you might react to labour! If you're the sort of person that goes to pieces over a paper cut, then it could be you'll struggle a bit more than someone who doesn't realise they've broken their arm for three days.

I loved being able to shower in my own bathroom and be tucked into my own bed afterwards, while DH waited on me hand and foot. I'm quite a shy/introverted person and the idea of being in a busy ward filled me with dread.

There wasn't actually as much mess as I was expecting, and it was all contained within the birthing pool, so pretty easy to clean up. I think a couple of old towels got binned too, but that's why we used old ones.

I admit I probably was very lucky with my birth, but if your pregnancy is trouble free, you're happy staying in your own home, you're confident under MW care and with the time of transfer to hospital in the eventually to you need it, then go for your home birth!

I had a HB with DC1, only decided the month before so it wasn't a long term plan. All went well, had G&A and pethidine as total labour was about 12hrs so as I got tired I didn't cope well with the pain. Best bit was that we were left alone and had lovely bonding time afterwards. What I would say was that as you have time to prepare, keep fit and healthy as I do believe it made a difference for me being confident in being able to persevere at home when things got tough. Good luck!

Also with regards to the mess, DH actually made the point our house actually was cleaner when MWs left than when they turned up!

For me, attempting homebirth with dc1 was the most important birth to try to have at home. This is because planning to stay home or actually being at home is associated with much lower odds of needing forceps or emergency caesarean than planning a hospital birth, if you are low risk (about a third to a quarter the risk, according to the most recent study). I wanted to come through the first birth as unscathed as possible so my subsequent births would be low risk and and believed homebirth gave me the best chance of doing this. Added to this, I live in a city where homebirth is well supported and live less than 10 mins from a big teaching hospital which has all the facilities.
In the end I had an 8 hour labour and home water birth with no problems, I didn't even use gas and air, although I had planned to, by the time the midwife came I was already pushing and didn't feel I needed it. I did use hypnobirthing techniques, which went a long way to helping me cope.

I had a homebirth for my first child, now 6 months. Prepared myself well & I wouldn't have had it any other way. Also no drugs but tens was great & then into pool. Also did hypno birthing which was some use although no way did I manage to hypnotise myself! The midwife said it was like a homebirth training video! Yes I feel pleased with myself, it's one of my proudest achievements.

Main motivation was not wanting to be messed around with medically, I trusted my baby & body & nature & was rewarded with a great birth, baby was 42 weeks + 10 days so I had been resisting all offers of a sweep much to midwifes puzzlement.

What does your gut instinct tell you to do?

I keep switching between wanting a HB for my first, and then talking myself out of it. Instinctively I mostly just wanted to be like my cat, crawl under the stairs, and give birth in the dark and quiet

I have a huge amount of admiration for people that do and I would wish it for myself. But I worry - what if we don't realise that x amount of blood is normal, or something. That's my main worry. Like you OP we don't have that sense of what is normal to fall back on. That's my biggest concern.

Bettybat - one of the main reasons that I went for HB (with both my babies) was the 1-1 care that you get. I had MW with me once I was in established labour, then second arrived just before delivery. Often in a busy labour ward MWs will be moving between half a dozen women.

Having a homebirth is definitely not about having a birth without medical help. I trusted my (NHS) MWs completely, they were experienced in delivering babies, and were able to monitor me and my baby without it seeming intrusive. They brought handheld doppler with them to check baby's heart rate.

I can't say what your labour will be like, but for me being in a familiar environment where I could move about freely, use my own loo, eat and drink what I wanted, turn off the lights etc did help me to be more relaxed while contracting.

Not going to lie, there were some bits that were painful and scary, but I got through it with lots of support from DH, my mum and the MWs.

I think you should find out reps of local hospital - is it good? what do others say - what our their policies re child birth?

I thought about a home birth but in the end decided would rather be in hospital as lots of friends with first time babies had calamities, pre eclampsia - fibroids, placenta pravia etc.

In the end i had a text book birth - 6 hours of established labour and 23 mins of pushing which my wonderful body did....one small tear - no stiches or interventions. When my body was ready it just convulsed by itself.....

I was however the only one out of my friends to have this luck.

For two days before established labour I had mild contractions - and I got cocky and thought that was it - i said to my Dh " wow - this isnt bad at all, maybe i have an amazing pain threshold aftr all!" Maybe i am going to be really lucky!!!

At that stage I felt very calm....things really kicked in two days later though and I was barely able to get out the car at hospital, when I saw a man in a wheel chair waiting to take me to the ward - I dont think I have ever been so grateful in my life!

I had carefully chosen an epi but the midwives put me off this and gave me pethadine instead, as well as homatherapy oils and Dh doing lots of massaging...I couldnt move off the bed due to the pain, but they got me off - bent over chairs - on birth ball, on side of bed etc....

One of the biggest problems I found with the pain was that - you have no idea how long it will last for - if you go into labour at night - had contractions for two days before like me - it will be your THIRD night without sleep! also proabbly DH too - ....

I just felt like I was in so much pain and had no idea how or when it would end....then - it got worse!

It got worse and worse and there was no escaping it - too late for eidural by then, pethadine and gas and air wasnt touching it - tbh, the mouth piece was more uselful as a focus to bite on, i was biting on it like a wild animal, screaming in pain....my poor Dh massaged me for six hours straight and i do mean straight the pain in my lower back was horrific....

Then the head comes - my god - then the shoulders!!! even wider!!!! but then..and i was lukcy as that only last 23 mins...I just cant imagine it going on for longer - i imagine the baby is right down birth canal by then

instanst and total relief.

The second after she was out - i felt instantly ok.

If someone could have said look you have six hours of this - everything will be ok - 23 of pushing - then it would certainly have been more bearable but its the not knowing....

I have since spoken to a consultant about birth options for next time, because I was in too much pain, and she said - peoples whose labour slows down with an epiudral and who need intervention - were highly likley to have had to have help anyway....its not because of the epidural.

I told her about my fear of an epi slowing things down.

she said with me - as i was only 23 mins pushing - it is highly unlikely it would slow me down...and it should be fine for me, she had two herself with no intervention or anything being slowed down.

My mw were AMAZING the hospital was wonderful, not depressing in anway - the room was spotless and fine, i had the option of the birth pool, they kept trying to get me in but i couldnt move a foot even...I got stuck on the birth call and couldnt get off it - i was in so much pain i couldnt move.

There were two realistic hosps to choose from, one was so miserable i cried on the tour - the other was bright and buzzy and effiecient and what you would expect really...If i had only the first to choose from I would have probably gone for hb....but because the second was so nice - i felt no need not to choose it i felt very comfy in the room...it was really nice!

Sorry for such a long winded post i just want to really point out - how differnent everyone is - with your first its so hard to judge what your pain threshold will be like, what your labour will be like. No one can prepare you for the pain, I had a tens until about 2cm, breathing was useful earlier on, but in the throws of it - nothing helped.

If i was a marathon runner for instance and had exprience of " hitting the wall" and stamina I may have fared better...

For my next one I have been offered an ELC should I want it- and I am considering a hosp birth with epidural this time...talking to head MW for this -
I think i would be an ideal HB candidate too - a small part of me is also thinking about this - but only because the fab hosp is now psushed to breaking point with massive no's of births and has closed its doors alot...

Ideally i would love to have a good HB with the main reason being going straight to my own bed with DD1 there....that would be BLISS...being at home! However - what worries me is if I did need a transfer, how on earth would i cope with that when I couldnt even get off a birth ball last time or get into the birthing pool, i literally had my foot in strange position and couldnt even move it flat on the floor.....lots of ladies have said they had transfers and walked themselves....so everyone is different!

Dont put any pressure on yourself at all - there is no right or wrong way to do it - the end game of safe mother and baby is the goal, find out about hosp - do you like it etc....do they respect birth plans? etc etc....

btw my hosp is one of busiest in south east - and I got one on one mw care all way through...wether this is still case I dont know - as we all know brit hosp seem to have suddenly nose dived over past fwe years due to astonishing and cripling birth no's rising....this is something i will be discussing with my MW.

I had DC1 at home, and it was a very positive experience, trouble free and fantastic. I would recommend it to anyone if: a) both they and partner feel happy with it b) they are in good health and have had a straightforward pregnancy c) have confidence in their midwife and d) can get into a hospital in a reasonable amount of time if needs be.
I do think it is also good to have a look at the hospital maternity ward as well, it can help make up your mind, and gives you an idea of how that environment is.