Anyone else an only child?

[Billy11]

hi
I have been obsessed with having a big family as i am an only child...never really felt very lonely as a kid but now that i have a daughter with nr two on the way i wish i had brothers and sisters who could love my kids and they would have cousins to play and grow up with .....
i get really sad at the thought that when my parents are gone my kids are left with no family ....i am hoping to have two more after this one but still get a bit sad around xmas and events like that when people mainly stick to their families.... anyone else feel like this...
also i am trying to find good reads to bring up kids who are close to eahother care for eachother and hopefully we will be a tight knit family ...i understand treating your kids equally does wonders for that///
i was wondering if anyone else feels this guilt and loneliness?

Cantthinkofagoodname

I know how you feel..at least the two will have eachother and you may be able to convince your hubby for more kids or maybe you can adopt an older child later on ....

GnocchiNineDoors
Maybe so but as an only i dont expect my big family and all sibblings to be bes t friends for life...but just to have someone who is bloodrelated to you in this world seems something natural and when you dont have someone and everyone else around you does...it makes you feel .. well ...not normal ....
bit more lonley ...
ive seen my friends sibblings fall out and sometimes not speak for ages and being envious...but they always have somewhere to go on xmas or any other family events...i literally sat on my own last year as everyone i know got a last min call from family to celebrate with them and it was really sad....

even my mum who has sibblings 8 of them world wide none of them here in the uk but as soon as my dad gets ill the phone calls start pooring in with genuine offers of help...which i never really get ..well from friends but its not the same..
all my friends had their babies with their sisters and sister in laws there and got a family welcome when coming home...i was on my own ...my mums there but when i loose her its just me...
i would really just like to believe that feeling of having family makes you somehow less lonley ...just knowing that you have family ...

anyway ladies...im 4 weeks away from my first c section at 36 and cant wait for baby nr 3 as soon as i recover and my old bones allow it...
my 3 yr old dd can't wait for her baby brother to arrive

Thanks for all the warnings as well ladies not to be too controlling of my family and manage my own expectations..its been good to hear every ones opinions.....i still want my big family ....even just for me ...it fills me with joy the though of somany kids to call my own blood!
i would throw the bigges xmas parties and welcome all that dont have any family around! :)

I'm effectively an only. My half-sister is 16 years older than me and was off and married when I arrived and we have no contact now anyway. My parents wanted more but it wasn't to be.

Going against what a lot of people said, I don't recall being lonely, nor do I feel a hole particularity.

I really don't know any adults with siblings that really get on with and / or even like their siblings! In fact thoes with siblings close to them are more likely to call friends for help than their relations!!

For that reason if we only end up with one it won't trouble me at all!!

O and on the subject of Christmas. It used to get to me & OH that it was just us unless we made the effort to visit family and never really felt that welcome. That said in recent years we have had fantastic Christmas days with friends and family that can be bothered. Would rather that anyway day than awkward family events where you are 'compelled' to visit because its x, y or z.

Lol my dp is 1 of 14! So funny I'm an only child an I'm
With someone with 13 siblings? I must say I don't enjoy is family gatherings far too overwhelming for me and there is always something going on or gone wrong ! I dnt get on with all of ten
Either think cause they are all so close and demanding of him it's kind of annoying!

Ten meant them

Thanks for this thread, I've found it really thought provoking. I'm relieved to see that I'm not alone.

I'm an only and never felt any major disadvantages from it growing up. DH has one sibling and six cousins all around his age. I miss the extended family more as I don't have many cousins and they're all at least a decade older than me.

Anyway, we decided to have only one child. I was really happy with that decision until a few months ago, when my parents had some fairly major health problems and I realised that I'm all alone to support them. I will probably need to take a sabatical from work to go back to look after them at some point but more than the practicalities it's the emotional loneliness that upsets me the most.

I've broached the subject of a second with DH and he's considering it. I must admit I have difficulties imagining what my family will look like with two children as I always thought I would have an only. I don't have any expectations from my (hopefully two) DC, I just hope that they won't feel so alone in the world.

Thats the thing...growing up and even being single and living on my own i had a blast...it is only really after getting married having kids and parents getting older that i really feel people sort of draw in to their families.....im sure once we stop moving around as we move countries every 2 years or so it will be easier to build lasting and meaningful relationships...we always find loads of friends and its great...but then we move again ...but when we moved back here to the uk i thought it would be different as we have old long good friends...but its not quite worked out that way ...

i am sure some people are perfectly happy with one child ...for me the guilt as an only not being there for my parents all the time as they live is tremendours....it really weighs on my soul...it would have been nice to share that with somene also....when my parents pass....no one else will share the memories of my childhood...

i can completely see that some ppl can have sibblings and still not be close...
as for teh 14 sibblings...wow...thats an in laws thing..i have two sister in laws and they both hate me as they wanted dh hubbby to marry their best friends and they will never forgive me for coming in to his life...
thanks ladies....