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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Any book suggestion to make me feel better about c section?

11 replies

tiredpooky · 19/06/2012 10:38

Hello, likely c section this time. Feeling sad about this. But dont want a lifetime of poss continence issues. (Bowel). Seem to recall there being an empowering book about c section as a choice. Any ideas? Thanks

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ladymarian · 19/06/2012 10:46

Hi there
My copy of Casesarean Birth: A positive approach to preparation and recovery by Leigh East arrived from Amazon yesterday. It looks pretty good (I've only had a quick look so far) but bought it as it was recommended by others on here. Its meant to be an objective look at c sections. I'm having an elective section in November due to tokophobia so different circumstances to you but I want to be as prepared as I can be.

SuchFunSuchFun · 19/06/2012 11:01

I'll be honest, I didn't find a single book that helped me with my ELCS (breech baby). I was devestated that I had to have a section and completely lost focus of the fact that it was the safest way to deliver my baby. Ask your birth partner to remind you of this if you are feeling down. I think I could have had a really positive birth experience if I had asked my DH to do this for me (i think he was as lost and confused as I was though to be fair).

If there are particular things you want, ask for them and make sure you get them, for example the screen lowered so you can see it born, or skin to skin straight away. The more in control you feel the more positive your experience will be.

And also, ask in advance if on the day you wait in your own room, or if you are in a waiting room with all the other ELCS for that day. We had to wait in a waiting room and I felt like crying nearly the whole time, it was so impersonal. if I have to have a ELCS section next time I am going to be a complete diva and insist on somewhere private to wait for my childs birth with just my DH. I strongly recomend others to do the same. I am writing to my local health authority to ask why this is their policy and if they would consider changing it. Don't know what happens in other hospitals though.

I don't remember seeing the book mentioned above though, if I have another ELSC I will look it up, although I think it would be better second time round.

We are so incredibly lucky to live in a time and place where we have medical knowledge to help us deliver our babies safely, I just wish we as women didn't put so much pressure on ourselves and each other to have this ridiculous "perfect" birth. The perfect birth is so rare and elusive that it is an unrealistic ideal to try and live up to.

Good luck, and I hope you are able to accept and feel better about your section soon.

feekerry · 19/06/2012 14:54

no book to recomend but i've recently had a emcs and it was a lovely lovely expierance. i'd happily have another. was honestly the best experiance ever!

freelancegirl · 19/06/2012 17:09

Hello. Try not to feel sad about having a c section. There are a lot of people with some very positive stories about it, particularly elective ones. The important thing is getting the baby here as safely as possible for both of you - surely how that happens is irrelevant in the light of having a healthy baby. I have been reading around the subject as still presenting breech with first baby at 35 weeks.

I got some good responses on a similar thread last week and have bought all three books recommended!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/childbirth/1492620-Books-reading-recommendations-for-C-Section-and-recovery

ByTheWay1 · 19/06/2012 17:17

Why do you feel bad about doing the best for you?

I had an emergency C for my first - undiagnosed breech - all went just fine.... my second was a VB - all went just fine... I have 2 happy healthy children - don't worry, go with the flow you've chosen. DON'T read books - they are not empowering, just depressing half the time.

You have chosen because it is what YOU need, that is good enough.

IHaveAFeatureWallAndILikeIt · 19/06/2012 17:25

I would stop reading around the subject. All you come across is people who felt guilty or that it affected bonding or feeding. I had ds in an EMCS under general anaesthetic so DH, DMIL and DSIL all got cuddles before I even woke up! This didn't affect bonding in anyway and I sucessfully breastfed for over a year. Not being able to run around visiting people was really nice and because of the CS DMIL cooked and did my washing, which gave me lots of time to bond with ds and was lovely.

In order to feel empowered you need to look within, not in books, and focus on why it is the right decision for YOU.

chocolatehobnobs · 19/06/2012 17:30

I had EMCS with DS 7 months ago, under epidural after failed induction. I have successfully bf. I made a good recovery and at 2 weeks was more comfortable than friends who had vaginal deliveries. I wish I had had elective cs and would have cs again in preference.

tiredpooky · 19/06/2012 20:31

Thanks ladies
SuchFun thanks esp for your reply and sensible bold words. You are right i need to regain as much control over aspects of it as i can
freelancegirl, i seem to think i'd feel better about it if it was for babies safety rather than my future difficult to quantify pelvic floor probs, thanks for books list
ByTheWay -i dont want to have a c section, i would much rather have a normal delivery, delivering DD that way was amazing and i want to do it again!
I have a featurewall -i need help to reframe this /apply cbt to it so that i can move forward positively. Also being incapacitated afterwards/needing help is really not my cup of tea!
Ta ladies

OP posts:
cory · 20/06/2012 13:03

What my GP pointed out, in a slightly different situation, is that once you're a mum you can't really separate your wellbeing from the baby's. Any health problem you have is likely to affect his life too- and I can imagine all sorts of ways in which his life might be affected if you develop severe continence problems.

By the time he's at school, he won't care how you had him delivered, but he will care about whether you feel confident enough to take him and his mate out for a day at the zoo.

fwiw I found the level of incapacitation after my emcs was very moderate: I was up the next day and after a few days I was pretty well back to normal. I was far more incapacitated after my vaginal delivery (tearing and episiotomy). And the risks you mentioned sound like they could have a longterm incapacitating effect.

tiredpooky · 20/06/2012 16:14

well pointed out cory, hadnt thought of that and u r right, its so important x

OP posts:
elizaregina · 20/06/2012 16:58

well pointed out cory.

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