Looking for help

[kirstystewart]

Bare with me,
I'm writing this though floods of tears, also I have physio in 35 mins, so I should really man up.
I had a fairly horrible labour about a year ago
This is not what I would like support with. I suffer from vaginismus (a muscle disorder) that means me and my husband (of 2 years) haven't had sex for about a year and a half now. I'm 22 and I feel like a total freak. I thought I had been dealing with it, but I have just fallen apart today. And as many of u will know, I stupidly posted something else, and got some harsh feed back, I'm so sorry. But please would anyone suffering from the same disorder please reply and tell me there's light somewhere at the end of the tunnel?

This is a fairly common problem especially after traumatic births/sexual experiences and it can be very stressful and put strain on relationships so please dont feel like a freak if you're finding it hard to deal with. It's very treatable if you speak to your doctor they should be able to refer you to a sex therapist for counselling and vaginal training. Your partner can be involved to if it helps and you can take things at your own pace. If you stick with the treatment you have a good chance of overcoming it but be patient with and kind to yourself, you've been through a lot and it will take time xxx

I'm sorry to hear that. Have you de-briefed your birth? I ask because I supported a client through a birth who also suffered from vaginismus. The debriefing should also help with any counselling sessions.

Oh and you don't need to man up darling. You need to allow yourself to heal.

I had a ecs, But I was checked out and they couldn't c any scared tissue. About 9 months after the birth I was offered physio, down there.... Which sounds awful, and it is. But it's working.
But I woke up this morning and felt the world was falling apart, and after what happened on the other thread, I just wanted to die. So so sorry to vent, I just feel so sad and vulnerable.
I joined the birth trauma organisation, they r a never ending source of comfort, but I haven't found anyone else with vaginismus (who wants to talk to me about it) yet

Kirsty try not to feel bad about your other thread, it was just a misunderstanding and AIBU requires a very hard hat. I occassionally feel like a bit of an arse when I post things (in all honesty it happens to me all the time, I can be a bit forthright of opinion) and I just remember that no one actually knows me and that the great thing about Mumsnet is that you can always change your nickname and start afresh

To increase the chances of finding someone to talk to about this you could try the general health topic, or maybe even Chat as there may be women on mumsnet who have or have had the condition, but who aren't currently checking this area.

Thats a great idea, thank you.
I feel silly to not have thought of that! I always need a push in the right direction :)