is there any support for mental abuse and torture for pregnant women?

[Billy11]

Hi

Sorry this is a very borin and personal rant...but i dont know where to turn ...really need to speak to someone before i mess up my little baby inside cuz im always panicky
Find it really hard to discuss this with anyone but i think it may be affectin my pregnancy.
My mother in law has always tried cause fuss between me and my husband but now it has come to the point that she is constantly mentally abusin me and doing things to make my husband feel guilty ....which works btw

she shouts at me ...accuses me of stuff i dont do ...tries to turn hubby ajaintst me ...the constant torture of her callin and misbehavin when she comes over makes my bloodpressure hi...literally and docs tell me to take it easy ....
i dont know what to do
hubby is very lovin but complete mummysboy ...i feel like runnin away and just divorcin him sometimes so i wont have to deal with his mum anymore...but he is a very carin and lovin husband and dad ...till his mum is in the picture.... he will not stand up for me ...he sais my mums like that ....jsut be the bigger person and deal with it...at points ive had fights as he wont say anythin to his mum and wont allow my to speak up either as it may giver her anohter one of her fake heart attacks

she has faked several heart attacks to get attention at times my husband was busy with me (once after my miscarriaeg once strait after a d and c i had for a cancer biopsy in the uterus) and when i need my husband care she somehow just puts all the attention on her

husband recently started doin really well and now she is after money ...first we started payin all their bills althou they are healthy and recieve a pension and own a free hold house (and we don't)

she comes over and shouts at me and makes it sound like i mistreat her when i do the opposite..i cook for her masaje her feet and do all to entertain her.
and now she sais she wants to move from wales to london to be nearer to family and we have to buy her a 350.000 thousand house as they are old and livin too far from family is hard and if she falls or faints with another heart attack (which she has never had btw) at least she will be near family
my stance is ...over my dead body is any money goin to her ...we will have two kids soon ...and a huge student loan...i gave up my career for my husbands cuz we move countries every two years for his job and to be a full time mum....im always worried about her next moves and her attacks on our social life and bank accounts..

i need a medical prof or a soical worker or someoen to tell my husband how seroulsy his mothers behaviour is affectin me as he doenst take it very seriously when i tell him about it ...i have literally felt palpatations at times she has played up...had a miscarriage already and really dont want anytin bad to happen to bubba

for all of you who actually read it all ...THANK YOU
and please any advice the midwife asked me about domestic abuse ...i said no cuz this doenst fall under that ....or does it? its all mental torture

Have you mentioned it to your midwife at all? Anything that is affecting your well being is up for discussion, she doesn't have to ask you. I would suggest you do that, and you take your husband with you so he can hear, both from you about how you are feeling, and from the midwife who can explain the impact this could have on your health.

Also, I can't quite get over this, she is treating you like crap in your own home, and you are massaging her feet? Seriously? She sounds terribly narcissistic, if she doesn't appreciate the effort you go to, don't do it. I wouldn't have her in the house tbh, or I would make myself scarce while she was there. Your husband needs to put on his big boy pants too, he has a responsibility to his wife and children, not just his mother. Would he let anyone else treat you like this?

You do not have to see or talk to this person. You need to set boundries and both you and dh need to enforce them. I would suggest
1mil not come to your house
2 mil not call on house phone get caller id
3 mil only call dh on his mobil and he can see them at their house.
4 start saving for private schooling and tell dh this is where you family money needs to go.
5 start to like the idea of mil moving so she will not go thru with it.
6 tell dh its you children and him or him and his mum. But you must be willing to follow thru and leave if he choose his mum (i started devoice proceeding before my husband go the point)

good luck and pls tell the mw

Domestic violence is commonly thought to just be between husbands/wives or those in a romantic relationship, but legally it includes relations of any age or gender.

Is the stress of your mother-in-laws behaviour impacting the child you already have? How does she treat your child and husband? Is it just you she mistreats? Either way, you are an adult, in your own home and I think if she starts then you leave the room or throw her out. Walk to your front door, open it and tell her to leave.

Extreme stress can badly impact a pregnancy, but really it's more about how you feel and the impact it's having on your emotions and the harmony in your marriage.

Is she from a different culture to you? Or are you both from a culture with strong maternal roles? No matter what, no one deserves to be mistreated, especially not in their own homes. Your situation sounds awful :(

Bloody hell and I think my MIL's bad! You poor love, she sounds vile.
Tell your midwife asap about everything that goes on. Would your DH listen to a medical professional telling him about the the physical and mental affects all this stress is having on you & the baby? You need him on your side and ready to tackle his mother about her behaviour. Are there other members of the family who will back you up?
Really you have enough going on, this shouldn't be down to you to deal with, your DH needs to grow a pair and stand up for his family. Good luck xx

Thanks girls. I will raise it with my midwife. Well hudband sais she us my mother and an ild and sick woman. I cant stop her from coming to my house as my husband will still invite her no matter what. He has a soft spot for her.
It just causes fights between me and husband hes just concerned bout his mum. Hes afraid she will have a heart attack if we say anything to her so we all tiptoe. Shes very controlling. I will step up now. I think ive been too soft in playing along in this my poor mother scenario

And yes. U had thought in my head i would make husband choose. You either let ur mum get away with everything. Or its me and thekids. I said it once and hubby said im being silly and should grow a thicker skin as shes an old woman. But its timei stick to my guns and put my foot down. And no i never mentioned it to my midwife. But will do. Thank u so much for reading. I really appreciate it

www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-violence-articles.asp?section=00010001002200410001&itemid=1292&itemTitle=Support+for+survivors%3A+abuse+from+family+members

This might be helpful to you.

thanks future nanny...i had a read ...
thank god my situation isnt so bad....but I will actively put a stop to it now ....