How did you feel leaving DC1 whilst giving birth & any hospital stay?

[Littlerayofsunshine]

I trust my DF, MIL, who will be looking after DD. But I am very nervous about being away from her at all. we're always together (dp has been away since december & not back until October) we do playgroups, fun things etc, and love eachothers company. she's happy with others, but also loves her little mummy & dd things, bedtime routine for example, and just that i know her inside out, others dont.

I'm just being silly no doubt, just anxious. anxious about going into labour and she'll be around, anxious about being away from her, anxious about coming home with new baby and to see her reaction... and to hope she doesnt think i've replaced her. (She's 18.5months)

anyone have any advice?

I felt all of that and ds was older than your dd. You know what? It was a big adventure for ds! The kids adore each other now 20 months later and tbh always have.

DS was well briefed about what would happen to him when the baby came, to the point that when my waters went ans my neighbour went to get him from his nap he said 'Oh, Neighbour is here, I am going to her house baby is coming!' I made it an adventure for him, having a baby was just something for me to do while he was having his first sleepover. His bag was waiting by door next to mine. I felt fine about DS, my mind was on other things.

I agree Op, you probably feel like this because you are being anxious about labour and the changes the new baby will bring to your family's dynamics.

Your dd will be fine with your Mil. Perhaps you can leave small presents from you she can find while she stays with the inlaws. Or leave her your fav tshirt or whichever object she knows you like, "to look after it"

I have to admit I have always felt quite relaxed at leaving mine with people I trust (my and dh parents), but I do understand why you are feeling this way.

i was really worried too, my DS1 is a year older than your dd though.

he too had been told all about it and knew my parents would come to visit when we went to the hospital for the baby to come out.

it all happened in the middle of the night and he woke up to find his gps there. he went off to look for the airbed for them, not realising they'd been there for hours!

in the event i was in hospital less than 12 hours though

Yeah I think my Dad will come to my house if baby comes in the night, as DD sleeps through and I wouldnt want to disrupt her by bringing her out of her sleep. She will find it odd waking up to me not being there. But with her breakfast, toys, and her love for sticker books i'm sure she'll be ok.

I just feel nervous as i feel lost without her when she's away from me for a couple of hours or so when at her aunties

I am worried too though not due until Dec when dd will be 2. Last time we had a five day stay in hospital but so far never even left dd for a night.

I really worried about it, I was still co-sleeping and had only just stopped bf dd1 when dd2 was born. In the end I had another c-section and was in for two nights (should have been three but they let me go home). She was really upset actually and I felt terrible, but a sensible friend said to me that sometimes in tricky situations your dcs might not be happy, but as long as they are safe then its all ok. I had a doula so that I had someone with me at night when I was in labour as DH could then be with dd. So I did what I could, but she still pined for me.

Bless you, OP, that is a sweet worry.

I am a bit like that with my DS (he turned 2 in February). But in January I was rushed into hospital with bad dehydration caused by hyperemesis with DC2's pregnancy. Was there for 2 overnights and I was upset bout DS as I hadn't had time to sort things out for him or to prime him. Even though DH was at home with him I was still a jibbering mess for the first day However, I think that was made much worse as it was a rush and I didn't have time to get myself mentally ready.

He was actually grand, and DH was great with him. Am also a bit worried about how I'll get on when I go into hospital in August to have DC2, esp as I have Group B Strep and I've been told I'll be there for 48 hours :(

Don't have any actual advice, but just wanted to share my experience. Sending you a

I remember this feeling well when I was pregnant with DC2. DC1 was coming up for 2 and we were very close, did everything together, I was so worried about how he would be. I had not spent a night away from him. He has a good relationship with his grandparents though, and they looked after him when I was in early labour (took him to their house) and during the birth of his sister and for some of my subsequent hospital stay etc (I was lucky that DH was around but he was coming back and forth to hospital), they made a big fuss of him and he was fine. He is 4 now and his little sister is 2 and they have a hilarious time together, it is worth it! I hope it all goes well for you.

I felt awful leaving DD1 (aged 3.2yrs). The birth for DD2 was by ELCS, so even though I could plan really well for her care, I was still away from her from early Thursday morning til late Saturday afternoon.

She was unsettled - I'm very close to her, as you are with your DC. She missed me, and even though she stayed with her beloved Nanny on the night of the birth and DH on the second night, she just wondered where I (and her sister!) were.

It took her a couple of weeks to realise that neither I nor her sis were going back to the hospital and now, 5 weeks later, she role plays about babies/hospitals and it's very happy, positive play. She LOVES the baby, btw :)

The good thing is that your child is only 18.5 months old, so shouldn't really be able to fully understand what's going on. Less for you to explain, etc. It will be fine - you just need to be on hand for extra love and cuddles :)

I felt exactly the same when it came to leaving dd1 with grandparents while we went and had dd2. I got a bit teary at the thought that from that moment on her life would be different. As it happens, she came to see us in hospital later that day, said "ooh baby", but got really excited when she saw a box of chocolates. I was back home 7hrs after giving birth and was there when she woke up the next morning. She took it all in her stride, the whole new baby thing, didn't seem to bother her at all. They are 13 & 10 now and get on fairly well. I actually remember the afternoon after dd2 had been born (easy induced birth), I had a lovely relaxing afternoon, in the delivery room (they didn't move me as I wanted to go home later) reading my book, dd2 slept all afternoon. After having a lively toddler to look after, it made a nice change, and I could enjoy it knowing I would be back home later.

I feel just the same. It's silly, DS (2.9) goes to nursery 3 days a week, which he loves, so it's not as if he's never spent time without me. I've spent one night away from him, in a very nice hotel with DH, and although we had a great evening I ended up in tears in the bathroom at 3am because I just wanted to be at home for when my boy woke up. What a wuss

So I am nervous too, but then I'm nervous about the whole thing tbh!

I also worried like mad about dd1 when I was having dd2 dd1 was 2 weeks short of 2. She had stayed at my mums about three times before but not inmonths. I knew she would be fine but still worried more about this than labour! We rang my mum to come pick her up before we ventured to hosp and she was fine going though I was in mega pain by then and I wish I'd rang earlier as I didn't like her being there for that but had super fast labour so what can you do? I was only on hosp 7 hours in total she came to visit when her sister was born but got a bit upset when she was going :( if I'd known we would be out so quick I'd have kept her with me . She has taken so well to her sister though loves her to bits! I would suggest a practice run with your dd now ie have your df stay over or her stay at your mils with you to get used to it. I stayed at my mums with dd avfew times before she stayed there