Can I have a whinge about post-CS recovery and how fed up I am please?

[Mikocat]

I know that I have a beautiful DD and should think myself lucky but...

I had her by EMCS after developing pre-eclampsia, induction and labour up to 9cm dilated, when they started picking up signs of distress from DD. it was all rather hideous and afterwards we spent four horrible days in hospital.

Anyway, being at home is MILES better, but after two weeks I still feel like utter crap. I can't walk far or do hardly anything around the house. Any attempt to do much generally ends in tears.

How long is this going to last? At the moment it feels like I'm never going to be normal again. DH is going away with work for two days this week and I'm dreading being here on my own.

Sorry for the pointless ramble, but I anyone has any tips for coping/speeding up recovery I'd be very interested.

Why bother trying to do anything around the house? give yourself a break, and don't expect anything. It'll take about three weeks until walking is comfortable if it was a "vigorous" emcs (by contrast it's a breeze after your subsequent elective, so don't worry about next time ;-)). Get your DH to hire in some housework help for you while he's away - local nanny agencies will probably have some part qualified people needing work experience as mother's help. They'll do baby laundry, restockign the changing table, maybe bath baby (I remember that was hard with teh bending over - maybe your baby is small enough still to bathe in the sink?) and keep watch for an hour or two so you can nap in the day.
If you have spare money to throw at the problem, I heartily recommend a night nanny for the days DH is away (or family if you're lucky enough to have some that are willing and reliable enough).
There's no need for you to be running around / going out / doing things yet. Give yourself six weeks to cocoon with the baby and recover. When walking isn't uncomfortable, just go for a local wander with the pushchair. No need for more. Get the supermarket to deliver everything. Get friends to bring food or do a laundry load when they come to visit. Use every opportunity you have to nap.
There's no race, take it slowly and heal nicely.

So sorry you're feeling this way. My labour was similar to yours, got to 9cm but baby didn't decend (good and stuck) so emsc for me too. I felt totally robbed of my labour experience as had planned a water birth.... well couldn't have been further from it really. I even instructed DH to throw my relaxation cd out the window (tad dramatic I know! :)). I wasn't prepared for a section at all and was pretty traumatised after although ok at the time.

I think the recovery time after a section differs between women but I started to feel more like myself after about 3-4 weeks. Living in pjs, recovering from major surgery & sleep deprivation made me also feel like shit! I just had to do 1 day (and each good cry) at a time. You will get through it although Im sure you don't feel that good just now, in a couple of weeks you'll look back and be proud of yourself for the huge transition you have survived achieved with your new baby.

Sorry no amazing tips, just stop trying to do things round the house. Surely it can wait a week or two. You have undergone major surgery! Oh and sleep when and where you can and accept any and all offers for help (chores, meals, cups of tea, etc. from family and friends). Also you never know, might be nice to get a wee break from DH :)

Good luck. My DS is now 4months and Im proud I got through those early days/weeks, and although I didn't cope particularly well things are great now and have been for months. Really enjoying maternity leave now and even been back at the gym 3-4 times a week. I hope this doesn't sound patronising. I just feel I was where you are not too long ago and it most certainly gets better! (Even if I do cry occasionally when trying to find something to wear that accommodates my bigger boobs and post-section tum )

Take care and hugs x

Lots of nice warm baths helped me. Badedas or similar indulgent bubbles really make it nice. But I was very surprised how much my muscles ached for at least a few weeks. Running up and down to NICU didn't help too much as I overdid it a bit. Honestly, like Bobbi said, take it easy, get help if you can and dont worry if things are messy etc. Try and just keep one room where you spend most f you time as cosy and comfy as possible. You have years to worry about tidying etc.

Im now 33 weeks with no. 2 and bad pelvic pain so having the same frustrated feelings about 'not getting things done' again. But I have had to accept that I cant do everything I want at the moment, especially as 2 year old DS is a whirlwind of destruction.

as the MN saying goes -'this too shall pass'

You are looking after yourself and DD. That the most important thing right now. Be KIND to yourself. xx

'of your time'

You've had a grim, heavy experience. Elective caesareans tend to be much easier and quicker to recovery from, which is why you'll come across anecdotal evidence from people who were joyously mowing the lawn, driving cross-country, walking seven miles (delete as appropriate) 7 days after their section.

I've had two emergency caesareans. I'd say realistically you'll looking at 3 1/2 to 4 weeks before you feel yourself again. This is when the deeper healing takes place - before then it's just superficial healing of the external and internal wounds. I could scarcely walk to the end of the road at 3 1/2 weeks and then literally woke up the next day and felt healed and around 95%. I'm not saying I could or would have bounced up out of my chair and gone for a five mile run but equally I could walk 3 or 4 miles. Second time around my recovery was much slower, which was a bit of a shock as I was holding out for the magic four weeks. It didn't arrive as I was brewing a nice infection in my abdominal tissue that had gone undetected (and finally flared up at 6 weeks post-caesarean) but that was both unusual and unlucky.

Personally, I'd take things easy for another two weeks; write it off. Sit on your sofa at home with your baby and accept that you won't be able to do much for the next few weeks. Once you've got a time frame it tends to be easier to go with it, rather than waking up every morning and then feeling crushed that you feel absolutely no better. Caesarean healing, in my opinion, is quite strange. I expected gradual improvements over the course of two or three weeks that would slowly result in me feeling better, day by day. Actually the reality was I felt like I'd been hit by a truck and then reversed over until day 4, at which point I just felt hit like a truck. I then wobbled around at home without much change until 3 1/2 weeks when suddenly I felt my old self again. Weird.

Stay on your sofa. The less you do the easier you heal. It's hard when you want to get out and about with your new baby but as another poster said, it will pass.

Congratulations on your baby.

As others have said, don't try doing anything except rest with your baby and get to know each other. Everything else can wait. First baby for me was an emcs. I had to move house 3 weeks later and it was hell. Second baby was a successful VBAC, and I had the luxury of days and days in bed with him - his birth felt so easy compared to DC1, but I still spent 10 days in bed and another couple of weeks before doing much else, and I felt much better for it. After most births you feel like you've been run over by a bus for a couple of weeks and then miraculously one day you start to feel better. it might take 1, 4 or however may weeks, but don't rush things.

Iron tablets with orange juice. I felt a gazillion times better 3 days later.

The best advice I was given was definitely to move around often after my c section. I was also 9cm dilated, and the anaesthetic wore off while I was being stitched together. and afterwards I couldn't believe I was hearing the midwife correctly. She explained that the area stiffens and by not moving you are making it more painful. I didn't like it but she was right.