is it really possible to plan your birth?

[misdee]

I know people are encouraged to write birth plans etc etc.

I have just had my 6th baby, and was loosely planning a birth around birth pool and gas and air. But it ended up being an unassisted birth in my bedroom and all a panic as no medical team there. No pain releif and def no pool.

I hhavent really planned my previous births and just went with how I felt.

Has anyone ever got the birth they planned? Would be lovely to hear they did.

First one went according to plan, and second one didn't!

DS1 - TENS then hospital pool with G&A
DS2 - TENS & bathroom alone; DS1 & DH downstairs on phone to ambulance crew. Glad it didn't happen with DS1 but turned out to be better!

I think it's more an exercise of thinking ahead and writing down what you would like to happen (or think you would like to happen) in advance, in case you're not in a position to explain at the time.

Ermmm nope!

But maybe - hopefully!- this time (32 wks preg with second, going for elective c section).

First birth thought I'd try natural, gas and air blah blah. Cue 3 days of labour (induced), epidural that failed down one side, ventouse with large episiotomy etc.

Maybe its horrid of me but whenever I see a first time mum say the words "birth plan" I do have a little snigger to myself. I don't think there's any such thing, and certainly no point in writing anything. No one can tell how they will cope in labour or what might happen.

I'm bit even going to bother with a birth plan this time.

If you have SPD you need one - DO NOT MOVE MY LEGS!!!!!! essential really

dc1- only plan was to avoid epidural if possible. managed on gas and air.

dc2- Really wanted a water birth but needed iv antibiotics so no chance. Birth plan stated I wanted to be mobile as much as possible and again, avoid epidural as much as possible. Reality was that as soon as I lay down on that bed with gas and air wild horses could not have got me mobile.

dc3- REALLY wanted water birth, stay mobile and no drugs to be offered. I finally got the water birth but again, no chance of me changing positions or being mobile in anyway. the only time I moved was to reach down and grab dd2 as she came out.

I guess I've been lucky in that I had really easy, stress free labours. All of my birth plans have been really short. no more than a paragraph. so I think even if things hadn't gone smoothly i wouldn't have been disappointed anyway iyswim.

Congrats again Misdee. does dd5 have a name yet? I bet S (and all the others obviously) loves her already. I know dd2 would be amazed by a baby. I made the mistake of telling Dp that you had another baby!. He is now nagging for us to have another

yes, she is called Katie. tho dh nickname of Skelator may stick for a while

Has the shock worn off? My friend unexpectedly delivered her 2nd child alone on the kitchen floor... was a major surprise and took her a while to get over.

You've just made me realise that I didn't bother with one for my 2nd baby. I did for my first and they did read and listen to it, but my key issues are to do with my hearing (I need to be able to see people clearly to hear them) and my homebirth MWs knew me well enough to know this so I guess I wasn't as worried about it.

no, not over the shock yet, but its only been a few days. think it might take a while. i just didnt feel like i was in labour. all through the pregnancy i had a fear of giving birth alone as the local maternity unit shut in october and nearest one is 10miles away, and we dont own a car. giving birth that quick and with no medical back up is scary, just so glad dh and MIL were there to help deliver her.

that is a lovely name.

I hope you get to grips with the shock thing soon. Completely different situation but I had dd1 really quickly and it took a while to actually compute that she was here. I kept getting a twisting feeling of fear in my stomach whenever I thought about the birth. That was in hospital with docs and mw's so I cannot even begin to imagine what you are feeling right now.

I am 38+6 with DC4, my oldest is 12 next month and my youngest is 16 months and I have never been encouraged to write a birth plan and certainly not asked if I had one in the labour room.

My Community MW has always asked if I had any queries about the birth or issues to discuss. This time I asked about being able to use the pool (which I probably can't as am high risk), and not wanting to leave hospital until they are sure DC does not need treatment for jaundice.
I have to admit though to me giving birth is less about having a birth experience and more about having a baby IYSWIM.

Forgot to say, congratulations!

You can in the sense that you can think long and hard what would be the best and worst outcomes for you, and attempt to plan accordingly - whilst of course keeping a totally open mind as of course anything might happen. In fact it's the best way of acknowledging and accepting that anything might happen IMO. You will have preferences, not everyone thinks the same, and if you can have those acknowledged, then that's the difference between feeling in control and not.

E.g. my worst fear was an instrumental birth - for me, having done a lot of reading and thought about it a lot, for me personally I would rather the difficulties and negatives of a c-section than the risk of the kind of damage possible (though I know not inevitable!) with forceps/ventouse. Emotionally too I knew I would find a c-section easier to handle.

So the planned birth-pool, gas and air only at home scenario duly unfolded, and when DD was stuck fast after 40 hours, I knew my next 'move' so to speak, and made it clear that I wanted to go straight to c-section. I'm glad I did and so I look back on what is on paper a total disaster as not being that bad at all. It couldn't be helped, and I felt that it became the very best of a bad job rather than the worst. I think that's what a birth plan should be about - not the fine details, just the big (can be life-changing) medical decisions which yes, sometimes YOU should be having the final say over.

Can I be the first to say no as you're far too young :o

watch it stealth.....

and surely as a newborn you are the one calling the shots ;)

day one.... a few twinges plus major pressure on her bladder, he he that will keep her in the bathroom all day
day two...THE BIG DAY (must remember to get head down!). Chin tucked in and TUNNEL

I wanted a swift, painless planned C section, and I got it. I was very happy.

Yes and no. I planned a waterbirth at a MLU with no pain relief. I hated the water and we didn't get to the MLU in time. I still had no pain relief though ;D

stealth you forgot to put pressure on her back as well...

Lovely name Misdee! You are being looked for for an update over here.

I had the birth I wanted with DD. DS caused a few problems though!

I had a birth plan of bullet points of what I'd prefer in certain situations that was nicely typed up and on my computer at home when my waters broke 2 weeks before my due date. :o

Did not have the birth I wanted but I was able to tell my DP all the key points early on (like preference to ventouse rather than forceps, will happily have any pain relief, yes to vit K for baby at birth etc).

I'm not pregnant currently (DS is only 5.5 months) but already know my next birth plan.... ELCS and I have it in writing from a consultant (I had forceps, a 4th degree tear, shoulder dystocia & episiotomy) that this is the best option for me. So I know my next birth will go to plan :)

I got the exact opposite of everything I said I wanted in mine, I am really really glad I didn't just write 'to have a healthy baby' because i dread to think what would have happened.
Congratulations on your girl.