Unsure - ELCS or natural birth with Epidural. Advice please!

[gemmakate]

I'm currently 33wks pregnant and need to make a decision re delivery.
DS1 was 10lbs and following an induced, very long labour I ended up with v bad tear (and subsequent incontinence problems).
I'm due to see NHS consultant on Friday to discuss delivery and make my decision, but I'd really appreciate some advice!
I think if I could guarantee an epidural I would try to deliver naturally again, but despite my telling my midwife this at every appointment, nothing has been added to my green notes (on asking why I was told it was too early?!). I've heard so many stories from friends (and the dreaded OBEM) where epidurals seem to be denied with a "your doing so well without" attitude, perhaps due to cost?
I met with the consultant at 20 weeks and although kind, he seemed very blasé towards my tear and concerns, saying at 5'8 tall I should expect a big baby and it's perfectly normal. (I wanted to say it doesn't mean I've got a big fanjo!) My husband offered to pay for an epidural but this was shrugged off and told one would most probably be available!!
I am so scared of starting off and being denied an epidural due to no anethastist available etc, and ending up with the baby getting stuck/tearing again/ending with an EMCS, that I'm beginning to feel perhaps I should put my foot down on Friday and opt for the CS.
But then there's the recovery with a 3yr old to look after.
My midwife assured me I was expecting a very small baby this time when she assessed me on weds, only to be told yesterday at a private scan that the baby is already well over 5lbs, with 7 weeks to go, and is on course to be another 10lbs plus whopper!
Just some advice from anyone who's been in a similar situation would be great.
Thanks.

Also re-experiences of care-givers- I don't know a single Midwife who doesn't want the best for a woman in their care- there are those I know whose methods are questionable and not what another would do, but I know they are not motivated by cost or stats.

Experience, while valid and vitally important, does not always reflect the reality of the situation, particularly in labour and birth when emotions are at their peak and hormones cause situations to be skewed. I know this from my experiences of supporting women who have had unfortunately experienced traumatic events when giving birth to their babies.

It saddens me to think that there are so many negative experiences however- I like to think that noone who has ever been under my care would say that, but I don't know as I rarely get continuity so it is dificult to follow up!

LullabelleStar I am not at all convinced that you read the whole thread (the main discussion of which was several weeks ago) or even the whole of the opening article, before weighing in with the benefit of your wisdom. If you had bothered to do so, you would have come to understand that the OP's issues were actually very little to do with pain relief options and most of your essays were irrelevant to this situation.

I had a horrific birth with dd and had a Emcs for pre eclampsia with second . I had an epidural with first but it didn't work . I have had two births , tries both ways and I would have a c section if I had another dc. The recovery is horrendous and painful ( but not always .. Have had friends who recovered just fine and quickly ) but it is an un scary controlled pain . Hth

Lullabellestar,

Labour is torture to alot of women and even in a so called supported environment with excellent midwives, that still doesnt diminish the pain. Our bodies may be " built" for it - but our brains may not be.

Unbearable pain and endless torture can also cause women alot of problems in bonding with thier babies. That is with - water - massaging etc.

I know of two sisters who popped out thier children and me, who had no complications during labour.

My experiences are very wide as its a subject I have been interested for a long long time well before I had children, and with a huge family of cousins all much much older than me, and a wide circle of friends, I know fully all the birth experiences....there was no one hiding a good story.

I know of more women totally traumatised by thier labours and yet they do not want to even complain as they want to move on.

Your very lukcy that your midwife friends are all devoted, the two that helped me were amazing - although the denial and refusing of the epidural - written into my birth plan ( shows how much that counts), has left me wanting a c section. I was left in too much pain. I sadly know of many women who have had dreadful expeirences at the hands of midwives....like all professions, you are bound to get some bad eggs. its just when in labour you are at your most vulnerable.

xkcdfangirl I was under the impression that the OP was asking about the options regarding her birth, some discussion of which related to the availability of epidural anaesthesia.

Apologies if I was mistaken.

I was merely explaining the risks/benefits of certain methods of pain relief and some of the biology behind these methods- I find this fascinating and feel every woman should go in to the childbirth with this knowledge under her belt- no matter what options she chooses.

I wasn't trying to diminish from the intensity of labour or, unfortunately, the negativity experienced by some women during the birth of their children- every woman is different.

Apologies if you took my interest in the subject and keen-ness to explain alternative methods so the whole situation could be regarded as offensive or as a personal attack- it certainly was not intended this way.

As regards to my 'wisdom'- it isn't wisdom, it is basic biology, and facts that all women should possess so that they can make truly informed choices. Research has shown that women who do not feel they have made informed decisions are more likely to suffer birth trauma. I certainly don't feel as if I am above anyone for knowing these things- I believe this knowledge should be shared so that women can be more prepared and empowered by their childbirth experiences.

xx

Having had both, i would choose vaginal delivery over CS every time

Very glad that you made an informed choice and have been able to plan the birth you want, gemmakate.

Eliza I had a wonderful labour with my second baby, it only hurt for about 40 minutes really and she popped out.

That said I agree with everything else you've said. What annoys me is that women are not given proper information about all of the options enabling them to make a proper choice. If natural birth really is the lowest risk option then surely rational women would choose it without feeling pushed

If a woman wants to have an epidural or CS than surely that is her decision?