healing after episiotomy

[kiki22]

DS is 10 weeks had a horrible birth they gave me an episiotomy still nothing so cut the other way to and i had a second degree tear and 2 internal tears from the forceps being dragged out, 6 weeks of hell healed wrong so was cut again but only a tiny bit. It all looks healed now but it still really quite sore after sex for a day or 2 has anyone any experiance of this? Starting to feel like i'll never get back to normal and i have a life of dreading sex to look forward to :(

You poor thing. I had episiotomy for DD1 3 years ago after a log labour, 2 hours pushing and ventouse delivery.

You're already doing better than I was in the bedroom. I was about 16 weeks post-birth before DH could get anywhere NEAR the internal bits of my fanjo!! Even then, I felt tighter than normal and it was uncomfortable. Kind of like a burning/stinging sensation :(

The good news is that with kindness and patience from your man, lots and lots of lubricant (Ann Summers one with aloe vera is nicer than KY) and if you relax, it does get better. I would say that I felt 100% better 'down there' at about 6 months after delivery, to the point where I felt no different to before the birth.

If you're having the level of pain days after sex right now, I would say to stop forcing it. I imagine that you're going for it because you want to get back to normal (I certainly did) but you really do have to take it easy until all of the soreness/swelling has subsided, otherwise you'll just make it worse x Best of luck

Thank you :) i've only tried it a few times in the last 4 weeks just to see iykwim, sounds daft but 6 months i can live with x

It may also be the post-natal hormones causing this. I had a planned c-sec but didn't have sex until baby was 10 weeks old. It was difficult and I felt incredibly tight inside. She's now 10 months, and things are almost normal again but still a bit tighter than before. It was uncomfortable until she was 6 months old. I'm still breast-feeding; apparently that makes things difficult too. Perhaps it's nature's way of preventing another conception before your body is ready!

I had a c-section too and sex is still different 2.5 yrs later! TMI alert, but certain positions which were fine before are now sensitive to the point of being uncomfortable. I think for some people, pregnancy just changes your body forever.

Forgot to mention that you can be close without actually having penetrative. sex. It became clear from a fairly early point that full-on sex was just not going to happen for a while, because it flippin' hurt so much but we wanted to be intimate again, so had to think of ways around it. So, get comfortable again with touching yourself before DP does; orgasm together without having sex; maybe use a vibrator (holding it against yourself rather than putting it inside). It will eventually start to feel more comfortable, as you heal and relax.

It's a big psychological barrier, because you begin to anticipate pain, which makes you tense and everything gets tighter (vaginismus?) So relaxation is key :)

My DS is nearly 6 months old and I had an episiotomy (along with forceps, 4th degree tear & baby had shoulder dystocia). We've managed to have sex 4 times since and every time has involved drink to help relax.

I agree with other posters that certain positions make a difference. Also, i'm still not back to 'normal' but feel like I'm now at as close to what is my new normal as I'm going to be.

I guess all I'm trying to say is it takes time and not to worry.

loveisagirlnameddaisy

Hi i was wondering if you had an ELC or an ECS because I was wondering why it hurt?

It was a good year and maybe half for me, the whole thing shocked me soo much!!! I want an ELC this time but am worried some mums with C sctions saying that affects it too!

I had an EMCS but I think it's just pregnancy hormones that have changed things. It was starting to get painful before I gave birth which is why I think it's pregnancy that's made the change for me.