Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Flip

Original poster

Would you have a home birth if you were my shoes?

20 replies

jenrose29 · 04/04/2012 21:02

Hi, I'm 31 weeks with my second baby. I'm waitng for a 34 week scan which I hope will confirm that the placenta has moved which will then revert me to having a low-risk pregnancy. At first, I really wanted a home birth. However, the hospital is anything up to 1-1.5 hours away in traffic, at least 45 mins in a clear run. That put me off and I booked into hospital as I hate the idea of something going wrong and that it would've been okay if I'd been in hospital. However, DD is 4.5 years old and would love to be at the birth, I'd love to be at home and we don't really have anyone to care for DD that can be relied upon to get there quickly so the transition to hospital would be very panicky and could potentially mean DP misses the birth if his parents don't arrive to care for DD in time. What would you do?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Madasaspoon · 04/04/2012 21:06

I think I would probably go for a home birth. The midwives will very likely be much more conservative about if/when to transfer, given the distance from the hospital.

Whereabouts are you, if you don't mind me asking?

nannyl · 04/04/2012 21:55

i was 45 mins on a good day from hospital, 1 hour +++ on a bad day

choosing to have a homebirth (with my first baby) was the best decision i ever made.... i didnt realise i was in labour... midwife came to see how i was (7cm) 20mins later i was a mummy... had i have "gone" to hospital i would have given birth on the side of the road...

I looked at it from the point of view that IF i had to make that journey, I would NOT want to do it in the passenger seat of a car... I would rather do it in an ambulence with blue lights (so much quicker journey) AND a midwife present

BoffinMum · 04/04/2012 22:09

Remember you get there in about half the time if blue lighted ... and you have professionals in a large vehicle with you, with all the things you need ...

Original poster

jenrose29 · 04/04/2012 22:13

I think another thing that puts me off is that my partner had a suspected burst appendix last year and the ambulance took 45 mins to get here!

OP posts:

BoffinMum · 05/04/2012 22:19

They come pretty quick if there's a birth complication, tbh.

Ushy · 05/04/2012 22:24

jenrose are you really thinking this isn't a good idea? I think it is best to go with gut instinct.

Good luck whatever you decide

Wolfiefan · 05/04/2012 22:24

Can you call someone to be there for DD when you go into labour. She may need someone there just for her anyway (you will be busy!) and then you would have someone to look after her if you do have to go in.

Madasaspoon · 05/04/2012 22:33

I asked my mum to come over when labour started. That way we had an extra pair of hands to do all the little jobs (cleaning up, makingtea, looking after my toddler if he woke up, distracting him if needed and staying behind if I transferred.) It worked very well...

soandsosmum · 06/04/2012 05:42

The ambulance will do everything they can to get you to hosp as they generally don't want you to give birth in the van. If there's no stopping the baby, they pull over to deliver.

I live on a farm and had an almost home birth last year. The MWs were very good, knew the transfer time and allowed for it in their calculations of how long they could let me push for.

How do your community MWs feel about it?

Flightty · 06/04/2012 07:17

I don't know. I'm wondering the same thing but because I had a PPH last time, at home, and though itwas sorted quickly, if it hadn't been I'd have been 45 minutes from hospital.

We have one up the road but it's not even an A&E despite this being the biggest city around here. It doesn't have a birthing centre any more either.

So would have to travel.

Think about one thing though, perhaps, and that's the idea of dd seeing you very distressed, because though my first few contractions were ones I could just about laugh through, or pretend to laugh through with ds1 (who was just 4 at the time) as soon as he had gone up the road to my parents' house, they became much more difficult to cope with. And another 3 hours and I was screaming as I gave birth.

I would have traumatised ds1 by letting him see me like that. It wasn't pretty.

But as long as someone is there with your dd to take her away if it all gets too much, I don't see a problem.

I hope you manage to stay at home, I had my first in hospital and absolutely hated it, so staying at home is definitely my preferred option even though I missed out on the pain relief!

Original poster

jenrose29 · 06/04/2012 10:38

Ushy I really am torn. Usually I have a feeling one way or the other, but I don't have any idea which to do in this case.

soandsosmum The midwife thinks a home birth is a good idea and are encouraging me to go for it.

If my partners parents are not on holiday (they are going a few days after my due date so depends if I'm late) then they could get there within an hour to collect DD if need be. However, DD is very mature and would be happy to go and play upstairs if asked. I think having her there would be a good distraction from the pain and that she would think it was amazing to see her sibling born and DP would be there to take her into the other room if needed to.

There is a also midwife unit a few miles from us which has a birthing pool which I like the idea of. It's just the fact that there are no doctors if something went wrong that plays on my mind a bit.

OP posts:

missmaviscruet · 06/04/2012 10:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chickissimma · 06/04/2012 10:47

Sorry if already mentioned, but is there a midwife-led birth centre near you? I chose this as a homebirth/hospital compromise. Birth room was like a bedroom w minimal hospital stuff on show, and mws natural/active birth advocates. I laboured at home (not thru choice, they kept saying labour couldn't be established ) and dd born less than 2hrs after arrival. Then when things went wrong, I was 2mins from theatre, not the hour it would have been from home!

chickissimma · 06/04/2012 10:48

Ah, I see you've commented in this. Was lucky as our mlu is a wing of a large hospital.

Original poster

jenrose29 · 06/04/2012 10:58

missmaviscruet No-one I can ask to be in the house and can't afford to hire a doula.

chickissimma We have a MLU a few miles from us which stands alone, but at the hospital I'm booked in to they have a MLU which is attached to it which I would use if I went to hospital. I like the idea of that as a compromise, but again the problem would be what to do with DD as obviously she wouldn't be allowed to be there and if DP's parents were away/held up then he might miss the birth which is why home birth feels better as an option in that way.

OP posts:

missmaviscruet · 06/04/2012 11:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CruciFlisspaps · 06/04/2012 11:07

See, there's nothing they can do in the stand alone MLU that they can't do at home really.

I'd plan a homebirth, and then if on the day you want to go to hospital, go to the hospital. Its easier than planning to go to hospital and then deciding to stay home (although entirely possible)

Madasaspoon · 06/04/2012 13:06

Not unusual at all for labour to be very manageable.... until your kids ae out of the way, and then the intensity increases! You might find that you want your older child looked after by someone else while you are labouring so that you are not distracted or held back.

That said, I would be happy for my children to witness me birthing. I don't think it would be traumatising for them at all.

EdlessAllenPoe · 08/04/2012 22:51

most people that have homebirths live in more rural areas with an average transfer time of 29 minutes. (v. big in Cornwall)
for second & subsequent babies it still checks out safer than hospital (and much safer for the mother). And i think the transfer rate is 12%
once your placenta checks out ok, and you are low-risk again that is.
personally i wouldn't want one of my kids at a delivery, but that's up to you in your own home.

FrankiDon182 · 09/04/2012 11:10

I hummed and ahhed about having a home birth, finally deciding not to as there was just too many 'what ifs' that made me feel nervous.
My contractions started properly at 12.40 in the night and i swore to myself that i would not leave my house until 6am (son wakes up at this time) as i wanted him to have a good nights sleep. Dropped my son at my dads at 7am, arrived at hospital at 7.30 - fully dilated and ds2 arrived safely and beautiful at 8.05am!

You are right in thinking that your eldest will be a good distraction. Whilst waiting for my cab to hospital, mid contraction whilst rocking on all fours, my lovely son goes and fetches me a plastic slice of cake and teacup from his kitchen set and asked me 'want some tea mummy? Some cake for bop (bump)?"
Was better than any pain relief i could have asked for

Good luck with whatever you choose but i definitely think being in your own environment is alot more relaxing !

Flip