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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Wedding, to go or not to go?!

18 replies

jocelyn4 · 04/04/2012 08:08

Hi, My friend is getting married approx 2 weeks before my due date. It's out in the countryside about a 3 hour train journey away from home + taxi ride. Would you go?

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luckysocks · 04/04/2012 08:20

Oh tricky one. Probably not tbh! It's a long way.

You could do I guess, particularly if there are any decent hospitals close to the venue! But whether you'd want to make that sort of journey at that point is a whole other question.

Ultimately, at that stage you only do what you are comfortable with.

FutureNannyOgg · 04/04/2012 09:57

You are technically term at 37 weeks, so the baby could turn up at any point. I would certainly be taking a hospital bag and notes with me.
That's also a lot of travelling for when you will be tired, huge and not very mobile. I went to a wedding at 36 weeks, It was actually local (5 minute drive) and I only went to the ceremony, but it took a lot out of me, just the getting dressed up, walking around the venue, hanging around for the ceremony, which is why I didn't go to the evening do.

TeWihara · 04/04/2012 10:05

I did, I kept my notes and labour bag with us and found out where the nearest hospital was in advance.

KatAndKit · 04/04/2012 10:05

I wouldn't personally. I haven't been further than an hour from home since 37 weeks. Not just because of being paranoid, but because it would be bloody tiring and uncomfortable and I would have been falling asleep by 9pm anyway. And it's not like you'll even have your own car with you in case you needed to go to the nearest hospital.

However, if you don't go, then obviously the baby will stay put until 42 weeks!
I'd say it's up to you and how you feel at the time. If it's a way off, then tell your friend you'd love to go but can't promise for sure and will have to see if you are fit to travel still.

TeWihara · 04/04/2012 10:08

...I knew several of the guests were doctors/nurses too, so that was reassuring!

I'm glad I went, it was fun and DS wasn't born until 39+4 in the end anyway.

stopthecavalry · 04/04/2012 10:09

No. Travel would be uncomfortable and tiring for many. Event itself would also wear me out as at that stage in both pgs I needed little naps to get through the day. Also you could deliver any day at that stage. I would skip it and maybe see if you could meet up and do something special with your friend a few weeks before to celebrate both of your life changing events.

Youremindmeofthebabe · 04/04/2012 10:57

I would if it was nearish to a hospital. I waited til 42 weeks this time, so agree that baby might come anytime, but, it might not!

SneakyBiscuitEater · 04/04/2012 11:03

Not all first babies are late my first arrived at 38 weeks quite out of the blue. If you do go then take your notes and hospital bag with you.

nannyl · 04/04/2012 11:08

My aunt did that (at 37 weeks)..... went into labour at the reception and then her and her family (2 other DC) were stuck up there while she was in hospital!

Wedding was a Saturday... she had a MW appt on the Friday afternoon who said that she didnt think baby would be here anytime soon and that she was fine to go.

(My family (I was 11) were then also stuck up there as my Mum looked after my cousins and me / my sister!)

All was fine and we look back now and laugh about it!

Murtette · 04/04/2012 14:30

Do you have to decide now? Can you speak to the bride, explain the situation and find out what the cut off date is for numbers?

I'm 35 weeks and we travelled to Paris with Eurostar this weekend. I had really been looking forward to it but found the train journey so uncomfortable. There wasn't room for me to have the table down as my bump was in the way, there wasn't much wiggle room & as I had to sit upright for 2.5 hours, my feet & ankles were quite swollen by the end of both journeys. If we'd been on an emptier train, it may not have been such of an issue as I could have stretched out more. If the wedding is still some way away, it may be worth checking out the price of business class tickets as, if you book a specific train far enough in advance, they can be quite "cheap" (as in not much more than a standard ticket bought nearer the time) and that would give you more room.

sambrads · 04/04/2012 15:06

I went to a wedding the day I was due was a great day and so glad i wasnt stuck at home while everyone was enjoying themselves. I was avoided by alot of people as they were afraid to make me laugh too much incase I went into labour lol.

KatAndKit · 04/04/2012 15:27

It's not being at the wedding in itself which I would worry about, it's the travelling so far from home to get there. In particular a long journey on public transport. A wedding close to home would be different. I still think just see how you feel closer the time.

TeWihara · 04/04/2012 15:41

I have come back to mention that we stopped for a good hour on each leg of the journey (stayed the night near the venue) to stretch my legs which was well needed.

Original poster

jocelyn4 · 04/04/2012 15:48

Thanks everyone, your contributions are much appreciated!

OP posts:

notso · 04/04/2012 15:58

My oldest friend is getting married four days after I am due at the end of this month and I have told her that unless I am actually in full labour or waiting to be discharged from the hospital with DC4 then I will be at the church but not to put DH and I down for the reception just the evening party.
This is mostly because I know they are skint and don't want them to waste money on us (DH plus our three DC and I are invited to the church and day).

When I was pregnant with DC3 both of DH's brothers got married, one when I was in first trimester and one when I was seven months and to be honest I didn't enjoy either day. I threw up all day in the first one and was just hot knackered and uncomfortable in the second one.

BackforGood · 04/04/2012 16:07

I don't think I would. I mean, your baby may well not arrive until a month later, but a 3 - 4 hour journey is very uncomfortable at 8 months + pregnant, and there's often a lot of standing around / not eating at regular intervals / etc. at weddings.

BlackEyed · 04/04/2012 20:09

I would go but would take my labour bag and notes with me just in case. Oh and providing my partner was also going to be there, don't fancy labouring alone.

CruciFlisspaps · 04/04/2012 20:15

I wouldn't go. DD was born at 42w, I'm currently 40w with DC2 and there's no way I'd go anywhere that I couldn't get home to quickly either time (both were planned as homebirths though, if hospital was planned then going might have been a consideration)

It's worth bearing in mind that if you do have your baby whilst you're there (unlikely, but it IS possible) then you're in a hospital far from home, where you don't know anyone - and the people you do know up there are probably going to be on honeymoon, and it's not going to be ideal if you have complications or need to stay in for a few days for some reason.

And then you've got the train and taxi journey home at a few days post partum...

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