Pain during Caesarean?

[kyaw]

I had my beautiful son 11 wks ago but the birth is coming back to haunt me a bit. He is the most divine, healthy little boy and this is the only thing that's important..... but if I don't deal with this, i'm afraid it's going to haunt me.
I had an elective Caesarean at term as my ds was breech. I felt the incision and surgeon's hands in incredible detail and incredible pain. The anaesthetist finally believed me when I described the retractor's location and position. The staff were fantastic but I found the experience excruciating and shocking.
Breastfeeding went horribly wrong afterwards, with infection after infection. Has anybody had a similar experience? I feel that the birth and feeding has been completely unnatural and am very frighted about having another child.

Oh kyaw, that's terrible. A similar thing happened to a friend of mine. I'm not surprised you feel traumatised. Did the hospital offer you a debriefing session? It can be very helpful to talk through what happened with people who can explain to you exactly what went wrong and why. Alternatively, I think Sheila Kitzinger runs a support service called Birth Trauma Network - it has a website.

Really, really sorry this happened to you. Please do get the help you need and deserve.

A friend of mine could feel what was happening in her first CS. They gave her a GA right away, and for her next CS she just had a GA from the start. Why didn't they give you one? I'm shocked at the anaesthetist not believing you!

Had your skin frozen successfully with the epidural? And then just your insides still had feeling? That's what happened with my friend.

What a horrible thing to have happen, no wonder you were in a bad way afterwards. I'd certainly complain to the hospital, and perhaps consider getting some counselling about this?

I haven't had that ecperience but you might want to contact the Birth Crisis Network - a helpline that women can ring if they want to talk about a traumatic birth. Details are here .

I do hope you manage to find some peace eventually - I can only imagine what a ghastly experience it must have been.

Hi hester.... No debriefing, I think I was too shocked at the time to tackle anyone about it.

NotQuiteCockney.... your friend's experience sounds very similar. I was expecting to movement as they explained to me it'd be the same as having your teeth out!! (ha!) ;-) but this was incredible.

Thanks for coming back to me. I feel so sad about the experience and quite isolated. I wondered if anybody else had ever been through a similar thing.

kyaw
When I had my twins, dt1 was born naturally (7 weeks prem) but my cervix closed within minutes, so I had an emergency C Section, all feelings came back once dt2 was delivered and I could feel the surgeon in my stomach trying to pull out the placenta, I was hysterical, and the anaesthetist gave me a ga straight away. I was very traunatised for the first few days, and for a few months after if I thought about it too much, dts have just turned 2and I feel fine about it all now.

Hi Waterfalls. So sorry to hear you went through a similar thing but i'm really encouraged to hear you've put it behind you now.

I thought i'd put it aside but i've just had the worst row with my dp in 10 years and all I can think about afterwards is my experience in that theatre a few wks ago for some reason!!

You will do that for a while, everytime something upsets you, you will relate it to somrthing negative, that being your experience with the C section, it's an indication that it still traumatises you, and remember you are still recovering, you are probably still feel a little tender, so that is a constant reminder,

It will pass xxx

If you can face it, please talk to the hospital about this - it might mean that the next woman who goes through this there, gets her GA, rather than an argument with a skeptical anaesthetist.

Hi, I had something similar. I didnt feel the incision, or anything but when it came to the stitching up part, I could feel incredible discomfort. I was given a GA from that point.
I think you should really mention it to someone, espeically as anaesthestist didnt believe you. Why would some one make that up. I am no legal expert but you would probably have a case against them.

I'm so sorry - I've had 2 similar expereinces with c-sections now. I must say the second was so much easier than the first. But it does cause pent up upset and distress. If you can I would arrange counselling - I delayed having a second child by 5 years because of my fears - then had fertility problems because of my age! Get the fears out have a good cry in supportive surroundings - you deserve to have some time to recover - it is like a post traumatic stress.

definitely treat yourself as having post traumatic stress. This is what you have, isn't it! You've been through a major trauma psychologiclly and physically - don't underestimate this. I know someone who had a very similar experience and she had counselling via the NHS, after a visit to the hospital to talk it through.

It's very easy for everyone else to 'move on' after a baby is born - they're interested in the baby, as are you, and in all the challenges and changes that occur in life now you're a mum. But I'd say start to deal with this and don't feel hurried along by life - spend some time examining and trying to accept what happened so that in your heart YOU can move on.

Also with feeding, i'd say in the most definite terms - never feel you have failed. You have tried your very best and in very difficult circumstances. feeding didn't work for me either and I don't think it's that uncommon for it to go wrong after a traumatic birth. I was incredibly taken about by my delivery and problems with feeding, and nearly four years down the line I think the key to being able to move on has been accepting that things DID go wrong, birth and feeding was NOTHING like what I had expected - but I did my very very best and it made no difference to the outcome - having a gorgeous child!

Very best of luck - do get some help to talk about it. And NEVER feel you failed with feeding - you did all you could, no-one could have done any more. x

So sorry, kyaw. I had PN PTSD and I do think you should check out the birth trauma website. It was very, very helpful to me. I have also benefited tremendously from cognitive behavior therapy and AD's.

You've done the right thing by taking the first step and posting about it. Please continue on with the process. I waited much too long to ask for help but am glad that I did finally.

Thanks everybody for your support and advice :-). It's given me the confidence to talk to someone about this and acknowledge that I shouldn't try to sweep it under the carpet.

Hi kyaw

That is really sad to hear and not at all rare. In fact a recent study put 'failed spinals' at 17% of procedures. You should have had a GA if you could feel the incision.

I am researching this sort of experience as part of my work as I design the medical devices used in this procedure. Would you mind getting in touch please? I'd love to talk to you about it.

Marc

I must admit I had an excellent experience with my ECS. The anaesthetist was fantastic and I was talking to him throughout. I could feel the surgeon tugging to get my baby out but that was all.
My experiences on the ward after were far from perfect. I was unable to breastfeed as I had intended and had to plead with the nurse to give me some formula to satisfy a very hungry baby.