Getting worried about labour, stressing out!

[nightowlmostly]

We went for the tour at the hospital today and it brought the reality home a bit! It's my first, I am 35 weeks, and seeing all the rooms and the ward (eek) made me pretty freaked out. We saw a woman coming in in labour, looking in pain and scared, and I'm sure I heard someone screaming.

Am getting myself all worked up and frightened about labour. I expect it to hurt, I just hope I can cope with it ok and it's not too bad. I'd like to stay in the MLU and avoid an epidural because I worry it will lead to more interventions, but I'm scared it will be too much. Any reassurance would be gratefully received, am starting to get scared.

I have had two babies without epidural and it was fine. My second birth was a water birth in an mlu with just has and air for the pushing bit. I did tear but I can honestly say I wasn't even aware of it and within a couple of days I felt normal again. I am just an ordinary woman with I would say a normal pain threshold and I am sure you are the same. Both my births were nothing like some of the extreme ones on obem!

You will be fine, I know it's a cliche but just have faith in your own abilities. Breath deeply through the contractions and stay calm and focused. Lots and lots of women have nice, straightforward births with minimal pain relief. I am sure you will too!

Good luck

Don't be scared. Obviously all births are different and you don't know how yours will go- but do be open to drugs if you need them. Most women go into labour not wanting an epidural but many end up having them so go in with an open mind. Read up on the birth stages so you know what to expect. Fear and ignorance can make the whole experience a lot more painful.

I too was frightened by the screaming but I didn't scream at all- not everyone does. I had one birth with an epidural and one without. Both were painful, the first was long and difficult in places, the second much easier but I "enjoyed" both experiences in retrospect and I'd love to give birth again.

You will be told horror stories but remember the majority of births are straightforward.

Hello! I had my DS nearly a year ago and he was my first. The tour of the hospital made it all real for me too, so I totally get where you're coming from.

Seeing others in labour is scary but I found actually being in labour less so as I was in control.

I made a hell of a racket just because that's the kind of gal I am. I managed on g&a while wailing like a banshee. Must have sounded dreadful to people on the ward but I was fine!

Labour was painful and hard work but there are no heroes and modern pain relief methods are really quite fab if you need them. Plus, here are some of the things I did that really did make it better...

Packing
I packed my labour bag well in advance. I also packed a coming home bag (clean outfit for me and DS) and an extended stay bag (extra pjs for me, extra nappies and babygros for DS) that DH could bring in if and when I needed them) I found it meant it was one less thing to worry about for when it all kicked off.

Birth plan
I wrote a brief overview of things I quite wanted and absolute nos. I briefed my mum and DH thoroughly so they were my advocates when I was 'not myself'.

The tour
While the tour was scary you'll be amazed how reassuring it is that you know where you're going when you arrive. I knew exactly where to go and when to ring the hospital.

Thank you all for your replies, I appreciate you taking the time! I just went and packed my hospital bag, well most of it anyway, and do feel better for doing that. I have been ok mostly, just occasionally I have a wobble.

I put the baby stuff in the wash, it did make it seem exciting again rather than scary, looking at all the wee clothes! My DH called from work a little while ago and said how I shouldn't be scared of the hospital because it's where we'll turn into a family, which was lovely and made me cry! I've bee quite hormonal lately, not really a surprise.

I haven't written a birthplan yet, I suppose I should. It's just that I do want to keep an open mind and not rule anything out, although there are things I may feel I would object to, eg keillands forceps. I can't help think that when the time comes if the midwives or doctors are advising me to take a certain route I will probably take their advice. I should write one, just to say I'd like a water birth and to make sure any and all interventions are explained properly to either myself or DH if I'm too out of it. That's one of the things that scares me, having procedures performed without consent, I have read a lot of stories about that happening, good old mumsnet!

But I do know in my rational mind that the chances are it'll all be fine, and that the majority of women have straightforward births. It's just so hard to keep that thought at the forefront all the time!

Thanks again, will no doubt be back after it has all happened to ask what to do next