skin-to-skin post birth

[fretfree]

Hi everyone,

In our ante-natal class last night I asked a question about skin-to-skin contact after the birth, having seen it recommended a lot on hear - in particular the idea of what happens if you have to have a C-Section and whether hospitals around here encourage skin-to-skin with the Father if not possible with the Mother straight away.

The mid-wife replied that skin-to-skin with anyone else apart from the Mother would actually be confusing/frightening for the baby, as he would not be used to the smell, heartbeat noise, etc of anyone else. I can really see the logic in this (especially if you delve back into pre-historic times or the modern day animal world when the new baby would be clinging to Mum's fur like crazy, and there was a chance that any adult male could be eyeing up a snack......).

However, I have not seen it mentioned anywhere else - has anyone come across this idea?

Thanks :)

Skin to skin is lovely, but sometimes things happen that mean you can't have it. I feel sad when women feel guilty because they can't have it and feel anxious about bonding with their baby. DD1 and DS2 had problems that meant no skin to skin after their births but I breastfed them and feel no different towards them than to DS1 who did get skin to skin.

Defo out of preference for me but had to give to dad whilst I was stitched up

Peaceandhope, I had a planned CS in a UK hospital in 2010, and no one suggested skin to skin in theatre to me. DS was shown to me over the surgical 'curtain', whisked off to be weighed, very close to me, then wrapped and sort of plonked down beside my head, so his face was inches from mine and I could touch him.

I didn't feel as if I'd missed out on anything - we were into recovery where we had skin to skin v quickly anyway. And there wasn't much room above the curtain - I didn't have much chest available, I would have had to wear DS like a scarf to get much skin on skin!

I don't think there's anything at all weird about what you asked for, FWIW. It seems a strange thing to get judgey about, but then that never stopped anyone, I know.

Our midwives told me that the amniotic fluid smells of both parents and the baby will recognise the smell. We were advised not to use perfume or deodorant for a few weeks as babies sense of smell is so acute, and they prefer their parents' real smell

Was so exhausted I couldn't have cared less about skin to skin. Was glad DH took him off for a bit and fell in love with him while I recovered. I fell in love with him a few weeks later. Didn't affect breastfeeding though, that worked out fine.

I had about 30 seconds of skin to skin befor DS was taken away to be checked he was then handed to DP as i was totally out of it being stitched up, DP didn't do skin to skin after the drama of my labour and delivery we totally forgot after they finished my stitchs (45 mins) i had skin to skin then DP took over for the next hour while i came down from the drugs. It's not effected DS so far tho he's only 6 weeks plenty of time for him to turn into an axe murderer yet :)

Thanks for the replies! I'm a bit surprised at how so many things are 'compulsory' in L&D.

The reason I didn't have it is simple- I just didn't want to immediately after the birth.
I'm someone who likes to do things in my own time, not be rushed into them. I had known before the delivery that I wouldn't be in a great position immediately after baby was born(I'm anaemic and very prone to sickness and exhaustion). I wanted time to just breathe and soak it all in, not have a baby put on me to start feeding immediately.
Secondly, I'm a very private person. I didn't want to share such an intimate bonding experience with so many strangers in the room.
This may sound immature, but I didn't exactly want a goo covered baby to be put on me.
It may also have cultural- nobody in my family has ever had this and we all bonded just fine.

Funnily, I often bathed the babies while cuddling them on my bare chest. I also often put them to sleep while having skin to skin:) but this was once we got home.

I'm curious how would they react in an NHS hospital if someone refused skin to skin?

I can understand that peace. It is such a personal thing and a happy healthy mum is surely in the best position to bond with her child. I'm glad you got what you wanted and what suited you.

I know a couple of people who refused. I think they were reminded of the benefits and then nothing more was said. I insisted on it in France and still held him while I was stitched (local - can't imagine doing that without!).

MW is talking nonsense. Skin to skin with mother is of course, preferable but in situations where this is not possible, just about anyone with skin will do. skin to skin is useful in at just about any time in the newborn phase as it is very calming and will soothe a baby.

My DS2 was born rather quickly & looked very shocked to be in the world. About 10 minutes after his arrival it became clear that I had a retained placenta & was prepped for surgery. I immediately got DP to take his shirt off (much to the amusement of the staff) to give him skin to skin as I wouldn't be there. By the time DS2 had woken up a bit & had begun rooting, I was out of theatre. He was brought to me in recovery where he latched & had his first BF. We then just made sure we had lots of skin to skin in the first few hours/days.

My DS didn't have skin to skin at all for at least 2 hours (I had an emergency c section)... Drs had DS for a while before they handed him to my DH. And DH assumes skin to skin was out of the question because we were in an operating theatre but cuddled him the whole time until I was able to.

I think any skin to skin would be nice, but if it doesn't happen please don't panic about it. My DS bonded brilliantly to me and DH without it in the first few hours.

And we also had no problems breastfeeding. I'm still breastfeeding at 23 months.

Neither dh nor I got skin to skin immediately after the emcs, but it was the best thing for settling her afterwards. She is 8 days old now, and at 2 days (when she was at her most difficult to settle) skin to skin with her dad was the only thing that really helped. She didn't seem to mind the different smell! And she clearly recognised his voice already.

Don't worry about it. BF is fine too, btw. Enough that I am considering wheeling my boobs around on a hostess trolley for the additional support, she did such a good job of increasing supply!

PeaceandHope what do you mean by being surprised that so much is compulsory? Very little is compulsory AFAIK - things are often recommended (such as skin to skin, breast feeding, managed third stage) but not compulsory.

Flisspaps:

I often get the sense from my relatives and friends that they forced into a lot of things and not really given a choice.

If you notice there are a couple of posters here who said they weren't given a choice.

I think the problem is that women aren't aware that there is usually a choice when it comes to many areas of labour and birth - from not being 'not allowed' a homebirth, refusing certain procedures or choosing not to have skin to skin immediately (for whatever reason) - we're often just not told that we can actually do something other than the procedural norm, so generally it's not questioned and is just 'done' IYSWIM.

Doesn't mean it's compulsory though - just means that once again, information isn't being passed on to pregnant women or new mums!

On the occasions it is questioned, I think some MWs are possibly a bit taken aback because it's just something they do (but not compulsory!) and of course, there will ALWAYS be those who harangue women to BF or have skin to skin (or alternatively to hand over baby for cleaning and dressing RIGHT NOW) but it would seem that they are few and far between.