Had an episiotomy, need some pain relief and aftercare advice pls TMI alert

[ElmMum]

Had a snip downstairs (ouch) right at the end of delivery on Monday night and haven't had the nerve to look yet. Midwife looked today and said all looks fine.

My questions are:

• If I follow mw advice and put lavender oil and tea tree oil in a shallow bath to dip my bits into, how many drops of each should I put in?
• She also recommended arnica cream but I'm a bit tentative about putting anything on at all other than dabbing with clean towel. Any thoughts for or against putting on arnica cream?
• DH picked up some arnica tablets while he was out getting supplies. Are these okay to take alongside ibuprofen/paracetamol? Be good to get some down me but don't want to take them if they're not to be taken with traditional painkillers.

Okay, and here's the TMI

When I was being stitched up the mw said it was tricky stitching because I had some varicose veins on my vulva!!!! This was news to me and I can only think they've appeared during pregnancy because of pressure on that whole area. I was a bit constipated early on.

Apart from being totally horrified at the thought, it's a vein that is most swollen down there (according to mw who looked today) rather than the stitches, which was a relief because to me it all feels quite tender and I'd assumed it was the stitching.

Anyone got any experiences of varicose vein in the vulva (be gentle with me, horror stories need to be couched in careful, positive tones pls!). Is there anything I should/shouldn't do.

And finally, I will be able to do a poo without it being more painful than labour, won't I???

With the essential oils, if you drop them into a small amount f till fat milk and then pour into the bath it helps disperse the oil.

Yy to drying with cold hardryer and trying to air the area ( hard when you've also got lochia and brick like sanitary towels).

Congrats! I found a ring foam cushion from Boots really helped so I didn't have to sit on my sore bits... I held on to the area round my bum while I had my first post partum poo but it was fine. Lots of fluids and dried fruit help too.

Some fantastic advice here! Only thing I will add, after using the loo or bathing, I dried my bits with kitchen roll, meant I could just dab at it without it shredding like loo roll does! Didn't hurt in the slightest! Also, wasn't told anything about not having long baths in case I dissolved my stitches, it was the only time I could relax by getting a nice warm bath immediately after a feed when I knew I had a bit of time til the next one

Hold a towl over your stitches whilst you poo - helps you feel supported

Once the baby and placenta is out, the veins will reduce rapidly. They're caused by a combination of hormones and pressure. Simple alternative to Valley cushion; a small cushion under each buttock with a gap in the middle. Simples. Pelvic floor exercises will assist a lot.