Has anyone here given birth alone?

[jenrose29]

Bit of a sad question I know, but things between my partner and I aren't going great and I think I may end up giving birth alone :o(

Don't feel sad ! I had dd2 on my own well with the MW as dh was ill...given he had seen 4 childbirths before hand it had nothing to do with what was happening but my MW was so helpful and dd was born without dh being there and I felt so pleased I had managed it alone xx

I had my first on my own,and tbh once labour gets going,you are so busy concentrating on what you are doing,you dont really notice.It was nice when my hubby was with me for the next two,while in early labour,but once i got going i didnt notice him there,and no4 i had alone,as i was rushed into theatre,but again,it didnt bother me.

havent you got a friend or parent who could go in with you ?

Do you mean completely alone, or just with the midwives?

I gave birth 3 days ago with just the midwife and dr there. It was lovely. Much less stressful than the last twice with my husband there, and he is a lovely, kind, gentle, supportive chap who I love dearly. If he had been there I would have been aware of him there. Instead I got to be naked, shout a lot, do a big poo, laugh with the midwives who were utterly relaxed and had seen it all before many times. Husband arrived panting at the delivery room 10 minutes after she had been born. Perfect.

I mean without a birth partner. When I had my daughter 4.5 years ago I had my ex husband there and if he hadn't been I'd have been alone for the majority of it as the midwives only checked on me once every 45 mins at very most. It may different this time as it's going to be at a different hospital but if not, I have no-one to go with me.

My DM and DH were there on the day, but I was so engrossed in what was going on that I honestly forgot anyone else was around except me and the midwife by the time 'real labour' was fully established. Some hospitals have volunteers who will stay with a mother who is giving birth alone, I think they are called 'Birth Buddies'. Maybe you could find out if that is possible at your hospital. The midwives I had were great and never left me alone for more than a minute and I am sure they will be like that with you if you are giving birth solo.

I bet it will be more relaxing than having others buzzing around you anyway. Luckily my DH and DM knew I needed calm and quiet so they were quiet and sat on the sidelines for most of the duration.

I gave birth with just midwives, well and an obgyn at the end and a few times to check on me. I'm sure the midwives will pay extra attention to you if you are on your own.

I gave birth to my last two on my own, first because DH was looking after the other two at home in the middle of the night, waiting for my parentals to arrive, and the second time because DH and I were separated at the time and I didn't want him there. Tbh, I was glad he wasn't there because he wasn't a lot of use the first two times!

Maybe you should consider a doula ?

I think the midwives would give extra care to someone alone.

And I have a lovely DH - but I have serious question marks in my mind whether speed of labour vs. Time to get the older kids dropped off somewhere will leave him enough time to be with me. I'm fully braced to check into hospital alone.

I had DS with only hospital staff there (DH was stranded at other end of the country), and it was fine.

I was by myself for most of the early bit - it was the middle of the night so the midwife suggested that I try to sleep - but once things got going the midwife was there all the time.

My mum would have come in if she'd known DS's arrival was imminent, but she can be a bit highly strung and I just couldn't face the thought of having to keep her calm while gving birth.

I had DS2 alone in the bathroom while DH was looking after DS1 and on the phone trying to rouse the midwife and ending up calling an ambulance ... which arrived 10 min after DS2, and MW about 10 min after that! However, I guess I wasn't really alone as he was at least within shouting distance.

Agree that you are most likely to be so absorbed in the birth process that you won't notice at the time, but try to have someone around afterwards.

What about an NCT birth companion ?

"I think the midwives would give extra care to someone alone."

No, the women i know who gave birth unattended by MW, were both without partners. that's the anecdote..the statistic is having a birth partner means better outcomes for you and baby.

Would you hire a doula? (typical cost £1k, though trainee cheaper)
or consider a friend/ relative??

a doula should be able to give you knowledgeable post-natal support too.