I have asked to go through my birth notes but

[gregssausageroll]

I don't know if my birth was fairly average and I may be just wasn't prepared enough. If I tell you lot would you give me your thoughts as we are now a fair bit from the hospital and I don't want a wasted journey.

Felt pain all day. Increasing as day went on. I remember big brother being on and having my tens machine on. I'd called unit to update them but as pains although intense they were very irregular at 1 minute, 20 minutes, 7 minutes blah blah. Told to have paracetamol and a bath which I did. Still in agony. Tens machine on full blast by end of BB so I called again. Asked if I could be checked over. If sent home fine but I didn't feel right.

Got to unit. Horrible MW. Got me on a bed and gave me an internal. Cervix closed. Told me to come back on the Saturday(this was Thursday evening) for induction as planned at 42 weeks. She said this was practice contractions.

She left room to sign me out. I had a melt down to DH. Was very upet, snotty mess when another MW came in and asked if I was ok. Told her how I felt. Kindly she agreed to put a monitor on me (much to annoyance of first MW). 2 Staps went on which I think is one for heartbeat and one for contractions. Immediately there was concern. I was then examined by a Dr who told me he was taking me though to delivery to break my waters and that I wasn't going home.

Taken through to delivery and put into a gown. Still wired up to various monitors. Tried to break my waters 4 times but they wouldn't go. I was offered pethidine (no gas and air) which I accepted. It was good to have some relief from the pain.

Within an hour they told me they weren't happy and I was going for a section and baby was out.

So I went from being told I was having practice contractions to an emergency section all within 2 hours. No gas and air but pethidine.

I spent 36 hours on the ward where you go after a section but it wasn't until I was re-admitted a week later (with an infection) that I realised most mums only had 4-6 hours.

It may be that there is nothing at all wrong with the above but I am just not sure. I have questions but don't want to waste time at the hospital.

I reviewed my notes about 6 months after having DD.

I had a lot of trouble with PND and bonding with DD after my induction and subsequent EMCS. I found going through the notes to be tremendously helpful - a cathartic experience - the Head Midwife who i reviewed my notes with also subtley hinted that i should contact PALS and complain about aspects of my care - i did this informally but after this they confirmed various aspects of care and note taking had been changed. It really helped me come to terms with my horrible birth experience.

Definitely not average.

Have you got a copy of your notes? If not, then it might be worth getting these and reading through them yourself and then asking for a debrief - that way you can go through and make notes on any specific areas that you might have questions about, rather than going for a debrief, and then thinking of questions afterwards.

Not average, but what is average anyway? All of us have unique experiences in one way or another.

The only thing I would question, is why didn't the first MW monitor your baby's heartbeat? It's just as well for the second MW who did monitor you properly, and the doctors who acted decisively when they couldn't break your waters.

Phone the supervisor of midwives at your hospital and explain that you are confused/not happy with how your north went, they should be happy to talk it through with you. I met with mine (who also happened to be in my delivery) and it was so positive and worthwhile.

North? Birth!

Thanks. I know what you mean about average. Everyone has a story which I why I don't want to waste their time but I think I will talk it thorugh anyway.

I think it's a great idea, i had a very traumatic time having DS and some horrible midwives, i would love to read my birth notes, not sure how you go about that tho, especially as my DS is now 3 I suffered also from PND and feel it may be of benefit to anyone to see what was written down and to know what happened.

Yes of course, you have every right to want to talk it through.

Lisa To get your notes, have a look on your hospital website - there should be details there on who to contact to get a copy. If you can't find that out, then contact the hospital PALS who will be able to tell you.

Usually there's a form to fill in and send off, and then they'll be able to tell you how much it's going to cost (they can charge up to £50 in admin and photocopying fees).

Mine cost £45ish, which was a lot of money for some photocopying, but it was well worth every penny in allowing me to go through things in my own time and to learn and clarify things.

Lisa, they did tell me if I ever wanted to go back to them about anything I could'!

The story as you tell it does not explain why there was concern and that suddenly the medical opinions changed. Fair enough if it needed a second opinion to spot a problem and need for cs, but you should understand the reasoning behind the change in direction - a complete u-turn no less. In your position I would definitely be following it up to know why things changed so much so quickly. Good luck.

I think you can ask questions about why the decisions were made, your HV should know, they should have explained why they recommended a section. 36 hours is a fairly short stay following a cs, so the 4-6 hours of other women is irrelevant. I don't think it is really bad enough for you to be focusing on and making a long trip when you have a wee baby unless it has really upset you (I'm assuming the baby is okay). I wouldn't say it was typical, but I don't think it is into the bounds of terrible either. In my ante-natal group the worst experience on paper doesn't really have any bearing on how people have reacted to their births, we are all so different as people, so you can only gauge how upset you are and work from there deciding what you need to do.

I got my notes but tbh still can't make head/tail of them. I mean I know I was on drugs(!) but some things just seem WRONG. I think it's good to make them do it though :) helps with accountability.

Talking through with someone as well seems like a good idea to me, but interestingly I read yesterday in the NICE guidelines on postnatal care that 'formal birth debriefs' are NOT recommended. I assume this is because it can bring back bad memories/ re-traumatise and is a risk for PND? It seems odd to me because IME lots of women want to talk about/understand what happened - at least I do, I'm one who likes to know the why about things.

If you have questions that you'd like answered I don't think it'd be a wasted journey. I had a scary time with DS2 who was born by EMCS at 35 wks due to IUGR. My antenatal care in the run up to the birth of DS2 had been very neglectful (DS1 was induced early at 36 wks due to IUGR and pre-eclampsia but I'd had no additional care/scans/consultant involvement during pregnancy with DS2) and my consultant said after the birth of DS2 that I was lucky to have a live birth. I didn't realise how much the whole experience had affected me until now when I am 26wks pregnant again and am absolutely terrified the same thing is going to happen again. This time I'm getting much better care and everyone keeps saying every pregnancy is different but my MW has recommended I think about counselling and talking to my consultant about my previous delivery and going over my notes to find out what actually happened and why.