How OTT did you go during labour - regarding candles, music etc?

[sillyily]

Hello, am really hoping to have a vbac in 8 weeks-ish time, and would love to do it with as little pain relief as possible. I have a really good hypno birthing cd that I'm going to stick on my ipod and play quietly through speakers, and am going to try to get some nice oils for DP to rub on my back. Would love candles, as I find them really therapeutic, but not sure what the hospitals policy is on this... Thing is... I think id feel a bit stupid doing all this (...especially if it doesnt work and i end up asking for an epidural :o) it all feels very over the top... do lots of people do this? (music playing out loud - hate headphones being in my ears! candles, oils etc) Anyones experiences please?

Also, if I do end up having another cs (booked at 41 wks) Can I take my cd in with me then? They had duffy playing last time. I HATE DUFFY. :D

TIA :)

Nothing. No candles, no oil, no calming music nothing. To be honest all I could concentrate on was contractions and pushing - the london philarmonic could have been in the room naked waving Jo Malones all over the place and I wouldn't have noticed...

Haha there's an image :o I managed to watch 6 episodes of Big bang theory last time in between contractions... I've gotta be continously monitored this time right from the beginning so this is all for the start really, where I'd normally be swanning around at home hopping in and out of the bath. no such luck this time :(

The idea of it never even entered my head.

During labour the midwife put the radio on, but I was so off my tits on gas and air that I ended up 'talking to' people from the adverts

DH takes great delight in still teasing me (2 years later) about how I was telling him to go help that man on the radio buy a sofa from DFS

Candles, soft lighting etc wasn't in my gameplan, just getting the baby out ok was my only thought.

That's amazing! - I started talking Spanish apparantly... something I havent done since gcse's... Obviously thats my main priority as well, I just want to recreate how I would chill myself at home, but in hospital...
Just worried the midwives will laugh at me :o

Honestly, I had lots prepared. Did hypnobirthing course, got music/speakers for iPod and I did not really use any of it. I would suggest practicing the hypnobirthing techniques as much as you can. I don't think the music matters. Candles if allowed are really nice.

It's all so hard to predict.
It's your labour and you should be able to have whatever bloody music you like. In practice one can get quite irritable in labour and IME one is as likely to be irritated by one's own choice of music as someone else's. Or you might find the last thing you want is a back rub, or the lovely smelling oils make you feel sick.
So prepare however you want but don't be surprised if you don't use your preparations.

Thanks for the advice, I don't have high expectations for it to go according to my little fantasy in my head, i'll just pack everything and play it by ear :)

Had music both times - just Ipod speakers. DH said 'is it OK if I plug this in?' and they said 'yes, fine.' No probs! He turned it down when they were trying to listen to DD right at the end but that was all. DH had done a mix each time I think - he was definitely optimistic for DS though as it went through at least twice and I remember at one point saying through gritted teeth 'This is the third time I've heard Hopipola!'

TBH I think it calmed DH more than it did me, but the familiarity of it definitely helped and I still have a little smile when the tunes that were on when each of them popped out comes on the ipod!

Just an idea, if you're not allowed candles, you could take those battery operated tea lights. They're actually quite convincing

No naked flames in our hospital - I assumed hospitals would discourage flames in general, but as my NCT teacher pointed out, it's particularly not encouraged where gas and air is around! [shock

KingThistle - we have an iPod with about 8 hours of music on and was beginning to think of putting together a mellow playlist...if it loops twice I will know things are really dragging (and yes, mine would have Hoppipolla on it...apparently Gwynnie P gave birth to Sigur Ros so we're in good company!)

aside - was relieved she didn't give birth to Coldplay. That would be weird.

We don't have speakers though so might not have anywhere to plug it in. There was a stereo in there so perhaps we'll burn a load of CDs instead.

its the smell of candles that I love... :o but yeah, i agree it might not be the best idea with g&a around... might leave those at home... I'll get dp to compile a few playlists... let him feel involved and all that.. as long as dc isn't born to bloody Tim Minchin! we've got one of those sound jars you can take in the shower.... I have no idea how they work... it is literally just a jar, no batteries or anything, stick your ipod in and voila! they're about a tenner (debs and new look do them) if anyone was interested x

oh, i am planning the whole hog! ( may well end in CS but hey- you can aim high!)
I have a birth pool set up at home, candles at the ready ( vanilla and lavendar)
Massage oils, playlist etc.

last one was a hospital water birth; requested low lighting ( they had a dimmer switch) and took Ipod and speakers. I know the song she was born to- as it is etched on my memory when I looked at her look at me and gasp. AAAAMMMAAAZING.

The song was Chris Tomlin's Indescribable.

OK; so I know that not everyone has a great experience, and trust me I did panic and scream like a banshee when in transition; but I stuck to my guns and had one great birth; so I am planning even more OTT for this one.

Enjoy it if you can; noone else can birth your baby.
I recommend Juju sundin's Birth skills book. ( it is a bit hippy dippy but I did use the suggestions)

Thanks silly will let DH know about the jar thingy!

We were also told by the NCT teacher that you're not even supposed to plug in your own phone or iPod charger - plugs all have to be PAT tested, whatever that is, but presumably some hospital elf and safety thing. NCT teacher said nurses/midwives will generally turn a blind eye (how can we cope if we can't charge our phones??!) but if you ask them outright they are supposed to say no.

I guess you can get those fake candles - do Glade do smelly ones or are they all unscented? I would be tempted to get posh room spray (Diptyque in my dreams) instead of candles but too nice to waste on a hospital perhaps...

ahh gauntlet thats what I want! unfortunately, with me being monitored 24/7, water birth is out the window :(
marshmallow I had to ask the midwife to plug mine in for me last time as I couldnt move at all post cs, and she didnt say a thing... and the plastic coating was broken and the wires were basically hanging out... will have a look at fake candles next time i'm in sainsburys... :o

i had planned everything imaginable for my home birth

candles / darkness / oils burning / silence / nakedness / natal hypnotherapy birth music CD / in my pool.... with just me and OH (midwife in next room)

reality was midwife arrived (me not sure if even in proper labour)... i was 7cm

20mins later i was a mummy and 10 mins later midwife 2 arrived

the pool was too hot, the lights were on, no time for candles / music / oils and i was clothed, it was the midwife who took my knickers off!... and my baby was born on the sofa (she shot out, was not even caught )

Being at home you can do what you like.

I will be planning birth number 2 the same as I planned birth 1, and trusting myself if i think i am in labour.... even if it doesnt hurt

I had one CD for all mine - elective sections so I knew in advance -was quite nice to have all the children born to the same music & I could time how long each section took by which track they were born to! Apart from that nothing ... I doubt they would've gone for a candle lit c-section

homebirth is out the window unfortunately as its a vbac, but that sounds perfect! both scenarios - your 'ideal birth' and the reality :P

candle lit c section seems quite medieval and spooky, not that the flourescent ligths are much better mind... I actually might suggest it to see what they say.... :o

silyily You can have a HBAC but it's not something that everyone would consider (you also don't have to have continuous monitoring either for a VBAC if you don't want it)

unless you are sectioned under mental health anyone (in the uk) can choose a homebirth if they want to.

(though in some cases it may be mad, verging on suicidal, it is still your choice, and NHS / midwifes etc can only advise)

DP doesnt want the responsibility of a homebirth which is fair enough. I just want what is best for baby. I was going to have homebirth last time, but so glad i changed my mind cos I was rushed to theatre for emcs.

I'm the sort to go with the flow, i'm not adamant on anything, but obviously, if I could, it would be water birth at home :)

Go for it! Hypnobirthing took about 70% of the discomfort out of my second birth and got me through a 24 hour home birth with my third. Just as long as you know they are preferences rather than a "plan" it is good to have an idea of comfort measures you want to use during birthing.

At my local hospital you can take a CD player but only if it runs on batteries - you are not allowed to plug anything into the mains. I bought a little cheap one from Argos for £9.99 specially. It was great to start with - we played lots of upbeat pop music, one the midwives came in and said "It's like a party in here" - but then when things started to go wrong and my labour didn't progress and the mood got kind of sombre we switched it off coz it didn't seem appropriate anymore. I would definitely use music again. It's like when you work out, it keeps you going.

Okay for my 3 births I each time hired a tens machine, I only got to use it for about 1 hour in the second one. Firsted ended up as an elective Caesarian, two progressed very slowly so I begged for a nice epidural, three happened so fast we were lucky to get to the hospital.
So my advice, plan all you want, but be flexible and have the bag with the essentials packed and ready to be grabbed on leaving quickly.

I'm pretty sure you aren't allowed candles in hospital due to the fire risk because they have piped oxygen in all the wards, plus there will be cylinders of gas and air in the labour suite. I hope it goes well.