Doula or not?

[AprilSkies]

I had a horrendous birth with my first. I didn't know what I was doing, didn't realise I was diliated and ready to push, midwife care was non existent and they didn't believe me anyway. Ended with epidural and ventouse , after 6 hours at final stage.

Do you think a doula would be a wise investment next time?

As a trained doula, I'm a bit biased however, there are many benefits to having a birth doula .

They provide a constant care from pregnancy and beyond; allowing you to birth in an empowered way and giving you the attention you need this time around.

A doula intuitively and professionally knows how to support a woman in childbirth. She can help debrief your previous birth (this alone would help you decide how you want to plan the next), discuss with you about positions to maximise an optimal birth, give you encouragement and be a channel between you and hospital staff; along with your birth partner of course.

If your birth partner needs to rest or leave the room for a while, the doula will be there for support.

If I was having another baby, regardless of me being a doula, I would have one.

You obviously have emotions still going around in your head from the previous birth so even if you decide that a birth doula isn't for you, at least talk to someone (a doula would be fab as they're non-judegemental and unbiased) and debrief your birth. It will really will help and give you more positive attitude prior to labour and also, hopefully restore your faith in the midwives who really are they to help you in the main.

I had a doula with my second child.I co-slept with dd1 and I knew it was likely I would be in labour at night,we had some possible help for the day but at night no-one who dd would have been happy with,so DH needed to be with her. My doula was a font of wisdom and support,and it meant I had someone with me when things weren't progressing well and it was stressful .I had (a second) c-section,DH arrived in the morning and I was in theatre a few hours later.The Doula waited until we came out. Are you in London? I could PM her name if so.

Essex

Yes, we had a doula for no. 2 after a similarly horrendous birth (slow, OP, augmentation, forceps).

Our doula was amazing. In antenatal preparation she helped both of us work through our feelings on the first birth and plan for the second. When I got close to my due date and then went overdue and became the grumpiest woman on the planet and apt to cry at the thought of tying my shoelaces got a little frazzled, she was really supportive, sent texts, found me a reflexologist (didn't start labour, but sooo lovely).

On the actual day, she was an amazing support. My DD2 was probably malpositioned again. She gave me amazing coping techniques when I was in a lot of pain - but at the stage where with DD1 I was told I was in the latent phase and given no support. DH was totally involved in really active support for me (whereas before he didn't really know what to suggest to me to help). It was the best money we have ever spent. If there is ever a DC3 (still up for debate!) I would not hesitate to have a doula.

Cannot recommend having a doula enough. There are also studies which show the women who are supported by a trusted female labour quicker, more effectively and require fewer interventions than women who don't have that support.

Depending where in Essex, my doula was East London - the Hackney Doula. You'd need to be early on (or just planning for next time!) though - she seems to book up about 8 months in advance these days!!

Thanks I'll look into it, not pregnant yet, just planning ahead!

There's loads of lovely birth stories on her website if you have a dig around. Gives you a good idea what a doula can do.

My top tip is that, as the idea of doulas is getting better known, they seem to book up very early. You'll have most choice if you start looking as early in your pregnancy as you feel comfortable.

Thank you, have to do something to improve on last time round!

I know how you feel! FWIW, no. 2 was fab. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Was on a high for days (as opposed to DD1, where I was shell shocked and traumatised).

Sounds brilliant! Must be easier also when you know what to expect.

Absolutely!