Refusing consent to have baby weighed at birth!?

[StarlightDicKenzie]

Has anyone else done this?

A friend of mine is having her 3rd and she has put in her birth plan that her baby is not to be weighed.

I know her well and understand her reasons. Her 2nd baby was weighed incorrectly and resulted in all manner of problems with threatens of referral to Social Services for refusal to give formula and appointment upon appointment for what was clearly a VERY well baby. They were trying to suggest he was putting on weight too fast on her breastmilk.

The incorrect weighing issue was never resolved as the HCP refused to believe what they were seeing with their own eyes instead of what someone had 'written' in the notes. She says that she knows now that it can do more harm than good and weighing is a poor indicator of health on its own.

Knowing what she went through last time I can see completely why she is making the decision she is but are there any repercussions for her, and has anyone else done this?

I'm not asking to 'help her' btw. She is perfectly capable to fight her own case, but was just wondering what others thought.

Your poor friend, I can totally understand why she wants to do this. :(

However I am not sure it will help her in the long run. After all, her main problem last time was crap HV interaction triggered by the first initial wrong baby weight. Even if the weight is recordered accurately or not recorded at all, she'll still be bothered by the HV team (it is optional to see them mind)

But as some babies naturally put on a lot of weight after birth, known as 'catch up growth' any good HV should of looked at the baby him/herself not just his weight IYSWIM.

Likewise other babies show 'catch down growth' and might drop on the charts, for no reason other than they are moving to the right line for them.

Getting a one off weight wrong, should not result in being pushed onto formula, if that is not what the mothers wants.

If she still intends on seeing the HV this time, could she ask to be transferred to a different team of HV, hopefully an HV who would understand her stress relating to last time.

It is interesting to hear that her last HV felt her milk was 'too good' and that formula would slow down the baby's growth, when the opposite is normally claimed.i.e. That mothers milk is no good and formula is better for babies to put on weight. When the truth is there is virtually no difference in calories between formula and breast milk.see Kellymom for breakdown.

Good luck, I hope your friend sorts things out.

I would have thought it would have been more useful to have the baby weighed at birth then decline any HV input afterwards. I would worry the weight would be required, like if drugs needed to be administered in the correct dosage quickly but I expect that is extremely unlikely.

Thanks Babies. It is her intention to have the baby weighed at the first midwife appointment at home where she can watch the process properly, so she isn't going for complete lack of info. Just at the birth when she can't check they are doing it properly iyswim.

The weight difference was considerable with her second btw. Birth weight 9lb 10oz, at one week old 11lb 2 oz. She found the reactions of medics very frightening plus her continuous questioning about being sure that she isn't giving him forumula, food, weaning etc.

No idea about the implications of it, and I feel for her with what happened last time. I wouldn't personally refuse though, as weight can be a recognised indicator of health (although clearly not the only one!). I think in the circumstances, my own view would be to request baby was weighed at least twice, to avoid it being recorded wrongly again. Maybe at birth, then once heading over to the ward, on a different set of scales in case of error.

I suppose part of my worry would be the reverse of what happened the previous time, if I had any concerns later about weight loss or gain, I would want to know I would be taken seriously and wouldn't just be told 'well baby looks to be gaining weight fine' and not be able to back it up if I disagreed. I know that if I was worrying about my child's weight, the last thing I would want is a fight on my hands!

It wasn't the HV that told her to move to formula. It was the paediatrician and a variety of other 'specialists'. The baby had to have loads of blood tests and some more invasive tests and they concluded that 'perhaps' the baby was simply weighed wrongly but better to be safe than sorry.

She nearly did give up bfing for the stress of it, and in hindsight doesn't feel there was anything to be safe than sorry about. She always believed that her baby was fine but was scared shitless by all the 'possible disorders' they were testing for to explain it.

Honestly, it was hell for her. Her body is a kind of natural though, so even with the 'regulation' of her feeding that they insisted upon on a while for the early weeks didn't affect her supply, nor did she even get a graze with the birth despite being a skinny lucky thing--

"Birth weight 9lb 10oz, at one week old 11lb 2 oz."

Wonder if they accidentally transposed numbers, meaning baby was 10lb 9oz at birth and put on 4ozs over a week. Much more likely than a baby putting on 2lbs in a week ! Well, we'll never know I suppose.

I can't see there should be any problems from what your friend is suggesting. She still intents an midwife to weigh her baby close to birth, she just wants to insure the accuracy of that weight. That said she might encounter problems if the hospital policies dictate otherwise and they might push her or ignore her wishes if it is written down that they must weight the baby at birth.

If they do weigh baby at birth, she could insist they do it again the day after with her or her husband watching, any potential early error could be caught then IYSWIM.

I would have thought her birth partner could oversee the weighing at birth, which may cause less fuss on a birth plan than stating that the baby is not to be weighed.

x-post with OP

Oh dear, sounds like a lot of pressure was put on your friend and unnecessary tests on baby :(

Much better to put things in place now, to reassure your friend that any errors like be picked up straight away and corrected this time.

I have always thought that a weight increase of that magnitude CAN'T POSSIBLY be anything other than an admin error though.

Maybe you're right about the mixed numbers. We probably discussed it at the time but it was 4 years ago now. She is a HCP herself so consented to a gazillion students at her birth and possibly one of those weighed the baby. She said it was like picadilli circus and utter noise and mayhem immediately after the birth, even though it was a MLU.

Actually, come to think of it, perhaps I can suggest she puts what I did in my birth plan and ask for baby immediately and refuse to let go until 3 hours later when she had had 2 feeds and we had eventually got out of the pool.

Just another quick thought, I see so many threads on here where birth plans are ignored, what would she do if baby is just weighed and her wishes are ignored? I would think it's something which is so ingrained as a habit that there's a good chance it will just get done anyway!

My baby wasn't weighed until very late, but I was in a very progressive kind of place where they certainly don't do it in the golden hour, - so unless they actually HAVE the baby they can't weigh it iyswim, at least not until she is feeling calm enough to allow it/watch it etc.?

Not sure where she is planning to give birth tbh. I think at the same place as before which is a MLU attached to a hospital, which I know to rotate midwives from the CLU so not very MLUy (I gave birth to my first there).

I like the suggestion of holding onto the baby tight for loads of cuddles. Mmm newborn head ready for sniffing :)

What about putting in her birth plan that she would prefer the weighing of the baby to be done by her midwife as point X. However if the hospital intend on weighing baby before that point, she or DH will witness weighing and weighing to be repeated at X point (couple hours later or following day) and again witnessed to ensure no repeat of last time's error.

I would put in the plan that the baby is to be handed to mum immediately and will be weighed later on when she is able to participate. I reckon the numbers were put down wrong as well. That happened to my mil we think. Bil was apparently 10 9 at birth and then 9 4 or something a few days later. Makes a lot more sense if he'd been 9 10 at birth.
No reason why she shouldn't ask for weighing to be delayed and that will cause a lot less raised eyebrows than refusing altogether. Plus will save her the annoying questions when she announces the birth of 'what does he/she weigh'

TBH i wouldnt refuse but rather i would ask for the MW to not weigh my DC until i was physically able to observe it happening whilst still at the hospital.

my Dd was weighed and the MW told me the weight and then recorded it wrong on the notes (3.9Kg but the Mw wrote 2.9Kg so BIG difference) i read it when i was handed the notes before leaving later in the afternoon and told the MW. the MW who had weighed her was not on shift at that time so i insisted on them re-weighing and correcting thre notes so maybe speaking to the Mw to begin with rather than a blanket "no" would be better. i accept that the clerical error could have caused issues if i hadnt have checked but it wouldnt let that put me off weighing my DC in future.

They gave contradictory weights when weighing my little guy at birth: "Ooh, he's 3.378kg. That's 8lb 6oz!" No it isn't, it's 7lb 4oz....thankfully everyone on facebook informed me of this fact when still in hospital (same day!) so I could get them to weigh him again and check which was right.

It sounds really crap for your friend, no wonder she's wary of weighing after all that...

Thanks all. I'll make some of those suggestions. I think secretly she just wants to weigh the baby herself so she knows it's done properly and doesn't see the point in anyone else doing it if it might not be done right.

Although having had such a large baby last time I'm surprised she's not OBSESSED with finding out the weight upon birth.

I agree with Northernlurker if it is put across as a "want to bond and delay weighing until I'm involved" thing then she will be able to just get on with things without more hastle. Sounds like they both had an awful time last time. Poor woman and baby. I can completely understand why she would feel defensive.

It sounds like a very over-zealous/misinformed HP caused this problem. DD never lost weight after birth, and regularly gained a lb per week early on, I was just told I must be producing gold top and to keep up the good work.

Coud she 'compromise' but allowing weighing on the ward where she can be fully present? DD was weighed at birth, and then later that day by the paed on the ward at which point I was right next to the scales and could see everything.

Generally, she doesn't DO ward. She does a couple of paracetamol, 2 pushes and goes home.

Sounds like it was awful for her last time. I agree with the suggestions to not let the baby be weighed immediately. I know DS was weighed for at least the first hour and when he was DH was looking at the scales (and I was able to, too).

Can she put in her birth plan that the baby is to be weighed only in the presence of either herself or her birth partner and that they will check the recording in her notes. Also, could she request that the baby is weighed twice (on diff. scales), once when she agrees after the birth and once when they are about to leave, both times with either mum or birth partner present to check both the scales and notes.

sorry wasn't weighed

indeed.