Confused about 2nd birth-asking for else

[Poppydoodaa]

I'm currently 35 weeks with 2nd baby. Dd is 2 years old and I had a horrible birth with her.

She was biggish just over 9lbs and got stuck - shoulder dystocia and ended up in theatre with spinal block and forceps. She was fine but was very scary as felt like it was taking ages to get her out. It took 2 docs pulling and one had her foot up to brace herself plus mw pushing on my tummy to get her out. Dd was bit bruised but fine. I felt like i'd been hit by a bus for first few weeks and had lots of stitches due to tearing and episiotomy - which got infected. Stitches disintegrated so took a long time to heal and was painful afterwards. Ended up having physio for 6 months plus as pelvic floor was wrecked. I felt like it took me a long time to recover physically. if anyone saw obem last week was v similar to that.

I think I've been avoiding thinking about how on earth I'm going to get this one out! I saw consultant at 20 weeks who said they'd do gtt - was clear - and then see me closer to due date and see how big baby is. If big they'd book me for elcs. I saw mw last week and she basically said if I wanted a cs she'd support me and had good reason for one.

Has anyone had similar experience 1st time and then ok next time? I don't want to have cs if not needed but am terrified of going through same thing again and not sure how I'm going to handle going into labour with my experience last time hanging over me.

Thanks for reading and sorry this is so long!

Hi, I had similar experience to you with 1st baby, prolonged 2nd stage, shoulder dystocia, pph, loads of stitches, took ages to feel human again.
2nd birth was a much less traumatic experience, despitKe the baby being another big one, I actually enjoyed the labour and had none of previous complications.
I know 2nd births are often easier but I'd also done a birthing hypnotherapy course and this really restored my confidence and put
me in such a positive frame of mind towards labour. You might want to give it a try whether you opt for an ELCS or not.

I had a similar situation. Didn't end in c section, but certainly should have. I was pushing for 3 hours, failed forceps, ventouse 3 times, I was totally exhausted and so was ds. Lost 2 litres of blood and was so ill for months after. I fought for elcs this time because I was terrified this time round, but was still refused regardless of what I went through. Doc did admit I should have had ecs and that it was handeled badly, but still refused. However dd was smaller, much to everyones surprise and this birth was totally different. Only had gas ans air, labour was three hours start to finish and pushed her out in 20 mins. Ive recovered very quickly this time and glad I didn't have cs now its all over, but totally understand where you are coming from and if thats what you want you should have it. But each birth is different so you might be ok this time.

Thanks both. It helps to hear that you had a better experience 2nd time. I would like to try and know there are no guarantees but am worried about how I'll cope.