What did you do with your children during labour?

[MimiLaSouris]

This is something that worries me. Our parents live abroad and although my mother is planning to come and visit for 3 weeks (including one week before my due date), I don't have a backup plan with regards to childcare for my 3yo DD if the baby comes early.

We have moved to a new area fairly recently and haven't had the chance to get to know the neighbours / other parents (from the local preschool). Our friends all live at least within 1 hour drive, and I can't imagine asking them if it happened in the middle of the day (they would be at work). DD does attend preschool during the day, but it only opens in the morning so they wouldn't be able to cover either.

What did you do with yours? My dh reckons that some people must take their children with them to hospital...???

Do you not know any other parents or local people at all?
Maybe it would be a good time to do a little networking so that you can find at least one person you might be able to call upon.
I too gave birth to DC2 only a few weeks after moving to a new place. I gave birth unexpectedly and several weeks early. I ended up calling someone I had only known for 2 weeks to take DD. It was fine though and she was brilliant about it.

I went to hospital on my own in a taxi in the early hours of the morning.....just me and the midwives.

My parents visited and had the children both times (I have 3 DC).

If I had gone into labour early before my parents had arrived I had asked a couple of friends to have them/and the cm was on standby too, depending on time of day.

Is a home birth a possibility for you?

I had DC3 at home and DS1&2 were asleep upstairs, I did have MIL on hand in case they woke but they didn't and MIL was there to witness her grand daughter being born!

Planning DC4 due in 7 weeks at home, and have the same plan to have MIL here.

Alternatively what about a childminder, how many weeks are you? Lots are being more flexible with regard to short term care in the current climate may be worth looking into?

Good luck x

I didn't have any problems, thankfully, as my parents had DS1 when DS2 was born & MIL had both DSs when DD was born.

However, both people I've known who have been in your position have given birth alone - with their DP at home with the DC. With one friend I did offer to have the DC so that her DP could go to hospital with her but, in the end, she went into labour early whilst we were away on holiday. With the other friend, I didn't realise she had no-one to look after her DD until after she'd delivered!

3 home births and each time older siblings slept thru. Miraculously. I know u can't guarantee that but at least your dh could tend to them in another room if necessary and still be nearby/meet baby as soon as born.

Friend took DC1 when DC2 was born (at home). DC1 & DC2 watched DC3 being born at home.

DC1, 2 & 3 irritated the crap out of me were sent to bed after repeatedly querying how soon DC4 would take to arrive.

We have no family in the country where we live, and my mum is too fragile to look after DC by herself, so it was down to friends. We had arranged that good friends would look after DD1, but they lived over 30 minutes drive from us. That would be fine with a normal labour with a long lead up, but it went fairly quickly with DD1 so we decided to ask one of the parents from DD's nursery at the last minute - and thank goodness we did - as the labour was 2 hours from start to finish, and between 4 and 6 am. We phoned the nursery friends at 5 am and dropped a very dozy DD off on the way to the MLU, and I gave birth 45 minutes later. So I would recommend that you try and find someone at your nursery - perhaps ask the key worker if there's a nice and relaxed family who would be able to take your DD. Best of all you would have several families as back up for different times of day/night. Best of luck!

push them through the birth canal? Is this a trick question?

I had a childminder in the early years, so she looked after my first, then second. #2 and #3 were born in the early afternoon, so very convenient for all concerned. #4 was born at home in the night, so the children just slept through. For #5, we had two sets of neighbours lined up.

We've never had family to rely on.

I was told that in an emergency I could take DS with me although they'd rather I didn't as last time someone had taken their child he drew all over the walls and bed of the room he was left in! The gynaecologist also told me DS could come to the birth as " you can't exactly leave him at home, can you?" I have a friend on call, so as long as she's there it won't be a problem (I refuse to wait til MIL comes as I don't want her there whils I'm in labour) and if they're away/shes at work, then DS will have to come with me.

Mix of neighbours, and nursery friends. Had nursery key workers on standby. Had ds's bag packed and all instructions typed out (favourite toy, routines, dummies, food types, etc).

My DD1 was upstairs asleep - I had a homebirth.

However, assuming you want someone to look after her, screw up your courage and ask some of the mums of your DD's friends. Your DD must have made a few friends. Honestly, people love to help with a new baby, even if they don't know you very well.

This question comes up a lot, and people are always saying how pleased they would be to be asked, even by someone they didn't know that well.

Thank you so much for all your replies. Yes, I thought about asking people at DD's preschool but she's only been going since mid-January so I haven't had a chance to get to know the other mothers really. I am due end of May so there is still a bit of time.

Preschool workers is also a very good idea, especially as my DD is very shy and would get really stressed if left with strangers (i.e. other children's mums). I will need to prepare her to all this eventuality though.