Help! Friend works in maternity theatre in hospital where I'm giving birth... WWYD??

[AcquaViolet]

A good friend works at the hospital where I'm due to give birth. More recently, she transferred to the maternity ward, and has been placed as a runner in surgery. WWYD? I have no idea as yet, at 21 weeks preggers, whether I'll need intervention, but I don't fancy the idea of being rushed into the operating theatre and having her watching while I am sliced open for a cesarean, or have legs splayed, fanjo on show, for forceps. Can I specify and guarantee that she's not there with me? I really don't want to switch hospitals. I find the idea of her running round with my placenta (one of her duties as well as observing birth) just plain weird. Don't get me wrong, she's a great friend and I love her to bits, but I feel really uncomfortable with the idea. Or is it just me?!!

Completely fine to request that she's not there. She will probably request the same. Should not be a problem at all. Just maybe mention it at your next hospital appointment.

Thanks for that ednurse. Am assuming by your name that you're in the medical profession? Feeling relieved already! I can't believe the number of people in RL I've run it past who think I'm making a fuss over nothing or who say they'd be glad to have an uninvited friend there!!

I totally understand where you're coming from!! Yes we can refuse to look after patients that we know, likewise they can refuse to be looked after by us

Hope all goes well!

i work for the NHS, ok not in a hospital but in the community and it's deemed 'not appropriate' to be involved in the care of a friend/relative. So if she hasn't you can mention this and she doesn't have to be there

AcquaViolet: you have every right to request your friend isn't present but be prepared that there is the slim possibility that of it is out of hours she may have tO be due to staffing shortages. However, if she is in the room you can also request that she stays 'head end!'

FWIW: I am a doctor & my DD was delivered by forceps by a very good friend of ten years duration, she actually pulled DD out then had both hands inside me dealing with a big bleed. When it came to it I honestly didn't care & I have never worn a bikini I'm so shy!

By the time you and your fanjo are in that situation you probably won't care who is there but if it makes you feel uncomfortable then its better that you let them know at the hospital, theres no point having extra worries when you're in labour or even having more stuff on yr plate than necessary before you go into labour..if I felt the same I'd ask that she not be around as you know her personally. Its not unreasonable and you're not making a fuss over nothing..you can't help how it makes you feel..good luck with it :)

Hi everyone. Thanks for your replies. Some good ideas which I'll put in my birthplan, as well as talking to MW. I do realise that if it comes to being in theatre, then I am sure I'll be past caring, but she's not a renowed specialist in her field...!! Hopefully you trusted your friend, and felt you were in good hands toobreathless??!!

When I was pregnant with DD2 one of the midwives doing the clinic when I went for a routine appointment was a parent of one of my pupils - although I'd been called to her room she swapped with another midwife so she didn't have to treat me.

By the time I was in hospital for an induction one of my school friends was the obstetrician on duty! I've known her since we were 11 and although we'd lost touch neither of us really relished the prospect of her being the person to perform the internal . She simply arranged for one of the midwives to do everything and report back to her.

Nothing was arranged in advance and, when it came to it, I really wouldn't have minded so long as DD2 was born safely (which she was!).

You can request she's not there but if you need to go to theatre and she is the only support worker on duty (often happens) it might be difficult - yes you can refuse her being there but what if no other "runner" is available - in an emergency they do a pretty vital job, running to get things that are urgently needed and an experienced runner will be able to do this quickly and efficiently , not fumbling around in unfamiliar surroundings looking for something.

Hopefully the situation won't arise!!