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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

'push, come on, push' a OBEM question

69 replies

YuleingFanjo · 08/02/2012 23:05

OK.

so every birth I see on OBEM there is some point where the labourig woman gets encoraged/told to push. Not always 'push, push, push!', maybe 'come on now, you can do it, well done, keep going' and so on.

is this normal?

is this what happens in labour?

it's just that when I gave birth I was transfered up to the CLU and did the 6-10 cm bit up there on my back. The baby's hearbeat was being monitored and they had to break my waters which had meconium in them. I clearly remember the doctor saying I was 10 cm dilated and I know I asked the midwife shortly after 'so should I push now?' to wich she answered yes. However I don't remember pushing as shortly afterwards I was prepped for a C-section 'as a precaution' and ended up having an episiotimy and forceps. I pushe 3 times (couldn't feel a thing) under instruction from the Doctor and my baby was born.

I just wonder why no one gave Me any encouragement to do the pushing bit?

*nb this is probably why I should never watch OBEM

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Zwitterion · 09/02/2012 08:55

Mine went something like this:

MW: you need to push now
Me: I can't
MW: YOU NEED TO PUSH NOW
Me: I CAN'T IT HURTS
MW: The only way to stop the pain is to push the baby out
Me: I can't
MW and DH: BUT YOU'RE DOING IT

And on and on ad....

I remember a lot of shouting, a lot of pain, then DD was born. And then I cried, a lot.

4madboys · 09/02/2012 08:56

with ds1 and ds2 i was encourgaed to push, but it took 3hrs of pushihng for ds1 to be born and 1hr and a half for ds2. with ds3 i just felt the urge to push and he was born in three pushes. ds4 i didnt have to push at all, had him in the birth pool and my body did it for me.

with dd i felt the urge and she also only took a few pushes.

nannyl · 09/02/2012 09:46

i didnt push out DD

she was born at home.... i was 7cm dilated, 20mins later, while kneeling on the sofa she fell out, and no one even caught her

I could feel her coming but she was doing it, not me!

theidsalright · 09/02/2012 09:52

Interestingly, the Mongan hypnobirthing method encourages NO pushing and says that it causes more harm than good, and that we are programmed to think that we have to but that it's only cultural/medical model programming (if I understand it correctly).

I am a major hyponobirthing fan BUT felt a physiological urge to push with DS that IMO there is no way culture or anything else had ever introduced me to before! It really was an overwhelming urge.

This time (any day now!) I plan to listen to the pushing urge but to do "birth breathing" rather than pushing in the birthing pool, well, that's the plan anyway....

Rikalaily · 09/02/2012 10:29

The two births that I had an epidural I was coached to push, the two with just G&A I pushed on my own, no coaching, I was just told to push if I needed to then did it in my own time, I didn't need to do any concious pushes with these two, my body just started pushing, I had no control... Well the last one, no-one realised I was pushing and only took 2 to get her out, the midwife didn't even get to catch her.

Original poster

YuleingFanjo · 09/02/2012 10:48

could be that I was unaware of the urge to push because of all teh activity around me, the baby being monitored and all the doctors... plus the gas and air?

I was told to push once I had been given the spinal and my son came out in 3 pushes which makes me think I must have been close to giving birth when they wheeled me into theatre and prepped me for a C-section.

OP posts:

nannyl · 09/02/2012 11:43

theidsalright i had a hypno-birth

and as said above i didnt need to / didnt push... i knew my baby would do it herself and she did (very very quickly with almost no pain at all)

FaithHopeAndKevin · 09/02/2012 11:49

With DC1 I had one MW telling me to "keep coming" and the other telling me to "keep going" and I was off my face on G&A and shitting myself with the giggles after telling DH that I didn't know if I was coming or going

For the others I had the foetal explusion reflex - like chucking up but downwards, I had no control, my body did everything. I could not tell you how many pushes.

But I had done a lot of reading about damage from coached pushing and was not going to listen to that from the MW - and with DC2 I did have one screaming at me (whilst hypnobreathing and pushing naturally) to hold me breath and push. Why?

NormanTebbit · 09/02/2012 11:49

Sippy cup, tiny bit of tea, plenty of finger foods to choose from was what I did from 6 months. Potty from 8 months as part of play, was putting teddy on it when toddling.

It's not such a horrendous thing to do < shrugs>

ShowOfUmblestAnds · 09/02/2012 11:51

I hate mongan and I'm pro hypnobirthing.

I had no urge to push at all and dd wouldn't descend. Was at home and the midwives gave me 1.5hrs with no coaching. Still no urge, no descent so we tried directed pushing with me in all sorts of positions, mostly upright. Didn't work and had to transfer in. I had an 8hr second stage in the end.

Tamoo · 09/02/2012 11:56

I was told when to push by my MW but in a very calm and relaxed way. I never got the overwhelming feeling to do it like a lot of (most?) women do. I felt pretty dopey on G&A and wonder in hindsight if it dulled my feelings in this regard.

I was also v. nervous about the crowning part so the MW had to encourage me a bit, because my pushing was a bit wishy washy, it burned and I was scared of tearing. But there was no "push, push, COME ON PUSH" kinda thing.

RitaMorgan · 09/02/2012 11:58

I had a similar birth to you OP - spinal, prepped for c-section, but then a forceps birth.

I transferred in from a homebirth as was stuck at 8cm - had a epidural and drip to speed things up, and when I was fully dilated they let the epidural wear off so I could feel to push. It was actually DP who got me up into a kneeling position, the midwife would have left me on my back. At first I couldn't feel anything and the midwife told me when to push, and I felt my bump for contractions. They let me push for 2 hours before deciding forceps/c-section.

By the end of the 2 hours the epidural had worn off and I was definitely feeling the urge (not a strong enough word for it!) to push, but DS wasn't moving. It was awful, having this overwhelming desire to push but the baby being stuck fast so no relief. Spinal block was very welcome then.

In the theatre they had to coach me to push to move the baby so they could pull him out with the forceps. I could feel nothing so just had to do my best to push when told to.

NormanTebbit · 09/02/2012 12:08

Christ wrong thread

Errr ( desperately tries to contribute(

Ummm I was never told to push ( because I had three CS)

Methe · 09/02/2012 12:15

I never had the urge to push with DD at all, I went though transition and then it all slowed down and I was 'coached' to push by several midwives.. basicially they shouted at me to push.

With hindsight I think my body was just having a rest before the pushing stage. I wish they had just left me to it but dd was 8w prem so I guess they just wanted her out. I was only pushing fo about 20 minute I think.

duchesse · 09/02/2012 12:15

First child I instructed to push when my body wasn't really ready for it. Second two no mistaking the overwhelming urge - utterly beyond my control. Fourth was a crash CS without ever really going into labour beyond drug-induced contractions. I would imagine that mother nature's intention is for the body to do the work without anybody standing cheering on the blooming sidelines.

urbandaisy · 09/02/2012 12:47

I was slightly similar to you, OP, in that I had meconium in the amniotic fluid and didn't get the MLU birth I'd hoped for, but it was still a good experience. I was on continuous monitoring and pushed for a good hour, maybe a little more before the baby was actually born, and I got a lot of encouragement and help from my midwives (I ended up with two +paediatrician in the room due to decels in the baby's heartrate, little bugger had managed to get a huge knot in his cord with all his gymnastics!)

His head was 99th centile in size and I must say I did appreciate the encouragement, most of all when I was getting feedback on the fact they could see his head, things were moving, etc.

Oeisha · 09/02/2012 12:55

Yes, I was told to actively push the last 3 pushes....for 3 frikkin hours before they decided it wasn't happening. Ended up with forceps and an episiotomy. Up until then it hurt like hell (OP baby, trying to turn constantly, but failing), and I was pushing her out well and very quickly until those last 3 hours...

Ebb · 09/02/2012 12:59

With Ds I never got the urge to push and just pushed with every contraction. I pushed for 4hrs before getting an episiotomy and he shot out. With DD the urge to push was like being taken over by some sort of alien force. I couldn't have stopped it if I'd tried and she was out in 4 pushes catching the MW rather by surprise.

trafficwarden · 09/02/2012 13:00

This just goes to prove how different we all are and why it's sooooo difficult to give a definitive answer when someone asks "How long will it take?"
I have had women ask me "Can I push?" with a panicked look on their face and my answer is usually "Do you need to? Try it and see what happens." If all is well with you and the baby there really shouldn't be any rush. Much better idea to keep moving, finding a more comfortable position (I know, almost impossible) and do what your body is telling you. Some women like to be talked through pushes, some hate it. Some women, especially with first babies, get disheartened because it feels never-ending. Some women can decide not to push when the head is crowning because it hurts/burns. I feel if they can do that then mother nature is letting the tissue stretch and baby will come soon. But it's almost painful to watch!
Interesting about finding the energy to push when ventouse/forceps are mentioned. It often happens but rather a drastic means of encouragement. Getting cross sometimes works but part of the skill of being a midwife is knowing which type of encouragement works for the individual woman.
We have all been caught by the woman who says nothing but suddenly has a strangely determined look on her face which sends me off to grab a pair of gloves. I love catching babies!

trafficwarden · 09/02/2012 13:04

Oh, I meant the mother getting cross, not me!

Original poster

YuleingFanjo · 09/02/2012 14:31

at NormanTebbit

I guess I am hung up on the fact that my birth didn't go lilke I thought a birth should go. I too was a mess of giggles on Gas & air. Maybe I should have paid more attention but DH agrees no one instructed me on the pushing part until after the spinal.

OP posts:

Original poster

YuleingFanjo · 09/02/2012 14:34

"Much better idea to keep moving, finding a more comfortable position (I know, almost impossible) and do what your body is telling you"

I would have loved to have got up and moved about but was on my back :(

OP posts:

Chocaholics · 09/02/2012 14:45

When I was 10cms the midwife said to leave my body to it for an hour and see if DD would 'make her own way out' she didn't so had to push at each contraction. Never felt an urge to push once which is why I pushed during the contractions and gave the added bonus that I never felt the contractions whilst pushing. Midwife and DH were both really encouraging throughout.

Took about 40 minutes which felt like eternity. After having DD I was amazed how on TV shows (not OBEM) it makes you think that a couple of big pushes and the baby is out when everyone I know was pushing for quite a while.

trafficwarden · 09/02/2012 14:53

YuleingFanjo I was talking about when all is well with you and baby.
It sounds like there were concerns for your baby in that they wanted him/her born quicker but it sounds odd that nobody was encouraging you to push. Were you really flat on your back or propped up against the pillows? Flat on your back is the worst place to be in labour and unless a woman insists it's the only position working for her I would be doing my best to get her to try something else. Saying that, the very few women I have seen do that were only there for a few pushes and baby was born quickly. You do say the gas and air was making you a bit spaced so perhaps that bit has got lost somewhere? I try to visit women the day after the birth if they are in the hospital so we can debrief and it is very common to lose track of time and forget or completely block out some parts.
Would you consider going back to go through your notes with a midwife? Most hospitals offer this.

notso · 09/02/2012 15:17

The only time I have ever felt like pushing was with DC3, when I was lying on my side and interestingly enough the only time I was 'allowed' gas and air during pushing this was my quickest labour and I didn't really have to try and to push I was just breathing the gas and air deeply and feeling lots of pressure in my bottom.

For my other two labours I was on my back and the G&A was taken away, I was very much told to push hard with the contractions, not to try and change positions and to stop making a noise when pushing.

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