Ladies who had traumatic births. . . .ever feel like this???

[MadameJ]

My DD was born at 34 weeks and I had a very traumatic birth, we were both quite poorly afterwards and had a lengthy hospital stay etc. Whenever I hear or see people on the TV who have easy births and are immediately handed their newborn baby I feel really really envious, obviously I am pleased for friends when things go well for them but I cant help but feel that I somehow missed out due to the trauma that me and DD went through. I am sure I am being very foolish but just wanted to check out if anyone else feels like this???

I still feel like this - my DD is now 2! Can't want OBEM, not even the trailer for it, it was one of my favourite programmes before, same with anything to do with pregnancy/childbirth etc.

I had a hideous pregnancy and an equally hideous birth. I should just be grateful that DD and I are alive and kicking - and I am, just bitter and jealous at the same time!

If you are being foolish so am I!

and if I wasn't so bloody scared I would be pregnant again, to hopefully have a better experience

Yes, I understand where you're coming. Classic first labour with DS1 - 36hrs, but straightforward but severe pph, intensive care etc. Lost an awful lot of blood, hosp for a week, but then felt like I had to jump up and get on with it (Why did no one say 'just sit down and don't do anything for 2 weeks to give your body chance to heal'?)

Straightforward labour with DD1, only 4hrs, I was fine, but she died .

So by the time DC3 came along, all I wanted was a straightforward labour and a healthy baby.

Dc3 and then Dc4 were both exactly that - just popped them out.

Could cry re-reading this post, remembering my first labour and how scared my husband was as he could see my heartrate go sky high as the blood poured out (this is after being to surgery to fix it!).
I think I still have a lot of processing to do, now that my baby days are ended. The trauma of labour 1 and then death of baby 2 - makes you realise that we really can take nothing for granted. The passage of time really does help. But made the mistake of watching a traumatic birth on OBEM last night, and it's definitely stirred stuff up in my heart

I'm sorry reading all of your stories - we've all shared some really really hard times, and it's important that we're allowed to acknowledge it.