Childbirth amnesia - sleep deprived musings

[Whirliwig72]

Before I had my brood (2 boys: DS1 3 yrs, DS2 4 months) I would inwardly scoff whenever my friends had babies but were then unable to tell me exactly how their labour and contractions felt ....'bad period pains and passing a melon through a keyhole' were vaguely muttered about but nobody could adequately clarify to my satisfaction how it REALLY felt for them.

Naïvely I thought I would be different! I would remember EVERYTHING in precise detail. I promised myself I'd take notes / even make recordings during the process so I could respond with clarity and detail when asked how labour feels - i.e. 'yes contractions feel like being squeezed by the tentacles an octopus on speed'. But dear me would't you know it? here I am 3 years later with 2 births behind my belt and I would be at an absolute loss to describe to you how a contraction feels or the sensations I felt pushing my 9.5lb son out into the world with little more than my husband's hand to bite down on.

Labour amnesia of course plays a vital part in getting us to reproduce more than once but I still feel a bit sore (excuse the pun) about being duped by nature into forgetting and it makes me wonder what other perceptions our mind's distort for us in order to make us repeat them.

Like that scene in the Matrix when Mouse wonders what 'Tasty Wheat' really tastes like i've started to question other things too. Looking back at newborn photos of DS1 recently I was shocked at how odd and ugly he looked as a newborn - all scrunched up and grumpy with a shock of hair like a gonk - of course through my rose tinted mother's spectacles he looked absolutely adorable and I still feel wistful looking ay the pictures but I realise my friends must have been lying through their teeth when they showered him with platitudes. Certainly when I see friends newborn babies i'm often struck by how odd they look and have to be quite creative with my compliments - 'oh what soft skin he has' is quite a common one!

I am currently absolutely besotted with my 4 month old and think he's the most beautiful thing ever to have been created, even his poo smells great to me - (how weird is that!) but a part of me is very tempted to submit a photo of him here to get an honest unbiased opinion of him... I'd still see him as perfect i'm sure but it would be interesting to see him through other's eyes without the filters imposed by mother nature!

Good post, OP!

I too have looked at baby photos of my 4 DCs and have been surprised (now) by how odd two of them looked! Of course, at the time I thought they were unbelievably beautiful, and they were to me, but their heads were a bit ET-ish.

And the amnesia, yes, childbirth is a blur now. I do remember that the memory came back in magnificent clarity each time I went into labour again, to the point where with DC4 I was quite scared, more so than with any of the others.

I had the exact same conversation a few days ago! It is amazing how you don't see the blotchy, gunk covered bashed up, ten rounds with Mike Tyson effect that newborns have!

Mother nature is a clever thing! And with regards to labour amnesia, it starts to wear off with each pregnancy (30 weeks preg with DC4) as in the further into each pregnancy the flashbacks start!

Also, seeing other births like on OBEM brings it all crashing back, whilst watching one the other day my DH asked me what the pain felt like (oh now you ask 3 kids 1 on the way later!) and with no hesitation I was able to reply with such clarity,

'its like being repeatedly hit with a sledge hammer at the bottom of your spine while someone is kicking you in the fanjo and pulling a big elastic band as tight as they can around your stomach until you cant take it anymore while you make a noise that can only be described as that of a constipated cow that no matter how hard you try you will never, unless giving birth be able to replicate'.

Needless to say he kind of made a 'grumph' noise and sloped off to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. Bless.

Morethemerrier - :o at your description of the pain! Very accurate.