cuts and tears

[AuntieFelix]

when I gave birth I had an Episiotomy which was 2nd degree and it took quite a few months to feel 'right' although sex still feels different a year later. A friend has recently had an episiotomy and also a tear (along the episiotomy) which is 3rd degree and I am trying to put her mind at rest RE recovery but not sure if mine only being 2nd degree is in any way comparable.

I don't want to sound patronising or more hopeful than I should be.

TIA

Not quite sure what advice you want but I had a 4th degree tear & episiotomy 13 weeks ago and am healing ok-ish (gynae appointment next week to find out for sure). Its a slower healing process than I expected and my friends who have had c-sections just dont understand or realise that everytime you go for a check up its drop-your-trousers-time, or that its not easy to see if you do check yourself with a mirror

If you want to help her without being patronising perhaps just mention that you found a lot of helpful threads on MN and point her to the website... she can then find or ask whatever she needs to know.

I would imagine she is probably just pleased to have some supportive understanding to be honest, especially if it is her first. It can feel a bit scary down there for a while. I thought mentioning how I felt to my friend who had children really helped put my mind at ease after my son's birth.

I had 3rd degree tear which is now healed. Not as bad as i thought it'd be. Everyone gets better at their own rate just encourage her to do her pelvic floor.