Anyone ever chosen to give birth alone in hospital?

[BebeBelge]

Hello everyone,

I am expecting dc3 at the end of May and will probably have to go to hospital alone to give birth as DH will have to look after the other two kids. This is because we live overseas, have no family here, don't speak the local language very well and although I have a few friends here, they all have their own families/work so they might be unavailable to help come D-day anyway. The only way DH could foreseeably come with me would be if I happened to go into labour on one of the two mornings per week when both dc are out of the house at nursery anyway (unlikely, but fingers crossed!)!

So, I was just wondering if anyone has gone it alone and had a really good experience? I imagine choosing to do it alone as opposed to ending up doing it alone due to fast birth/unforseeable circumstances is a bit different - less panicky? I have had good birth experiences so far, and dc2 was quite quick so I am hoping for same again but, of course, you never know!

I will be going to the same clinic where I had dc2 and the midwives are lovely but there is a language barrier. As long as things go smoothly, I will know what to expect and understand what is happening but if things start to go wrong... I may panic. Any advice??

Alternatively, has anyone ever had to give birth with older children in tow?? This is my other scenario! I go into labour while DH at work and have to get myself and kids (as no childcare) to clinic by myself!

Any advice??

Thanks xx

Where are you? Belgium? If yes, there are a number of us in the vicinity and I'm sure one of us could "drop everything" to come and look after your children for the day in question.

If this is a possibility you could entertain, please go to the "Living Overseas" boards and ask - most of us are pretty normal and can be trusted with children/houses.

Sorry, I see you're in Japan. Well, I know there are some mn'ers in Japan - perhaps there is someone close by, or someone who knows someone type thing. :)

Ooh Bebebelge - are you another MNer in Japan? we have a thread come on over

back to the subject in hand - well, I gave birth without DH both times, but I do speak the language so it wasn't too bad. Also, my births were 3 hours for DC1, and 1.5 hours for DC2, so...fairly speedy, all told!

Of course I wasn't "alone" - for DC2 especially, there was the midwife, a couple of nurses, and my lovely OBGYN doc (all women) and we were all nattering away....and DH, who was standing outside with DD said afterwards that it sounded like a party in the delivery room

I am guessing that if you HAD to bring your children with you, they would look after them until you DH could get there. Are you giving birth in a big hospital or a smaller OBGYN clinic?

sorry, I read your OP again, and you are giving birth at a clinic. So they will be able to look after your DCs until your DH gets there, I am sure.

Do you have a Family Support Centre type thing where you are? most cities/towns in Japan have them, where you can register and get someone local to look after your DCs for a few hours for minimal cost. Ask at your city hall/ward office, maybe. Whereabouts are in Japan?

Hi TanteRose, Thanks for your replies! Yes, I am in Japan (Kobe). I don't know about the local welfare centres but I will ask my Japanese friends. The problem for me really is the language though. I have tried really hard but I'm still only at a very basic, level .

AlpinePony what a lovely offer! Thank you so much. If I was still in Belgium, I would certainly take you up on that!

I think I have kind of resigned myself to doing it alone and just wondered if anyone had any positive experiences to share, just to boost my confidence a bit!

Hi there, giving birth alone is quite a thing in USA, they call it Freebirthing or Unassisted Birth or even DIY birth. Although as you'll have medics there, you won't actually be doing it yourself! But maybe there would be something you could take from some of their websites. Have a look at;

www.unassistedchildbirth.com/uc/

Although be warned, there are lots of graphic photos.

I have been doing some research about non-Western cultures where it is normal to give birth alone, although I'm not sure how relevant it is to you. If you feel like it take a look;

pregnancyandchildbirtharoundtheworld.blogspot.com/

Also in my research I have read of lots of scenarios where women do give birth with older children in tow, especially in South East Asia. But personally I think I would have found that inhibiting.

Good luck!

I gave birth alone in hospital (single parent, no friends lol :))

I can honestly say it was fantastic, and probably the thing I'm most proud of doing in my life.

Of course it was helped by having an induction and subsequently a straightforward labour; this meant I could drive myself to and from hospital. I'm not even sure how I'd have got home if I'd have needed a C-section!

I had a great midwife too who read and followed my minutely detailed birth plan.

Good luck in whatever you decide - just wanted to add my reassurance that doing it alone can be an amazing experience!

Hi BebeBelge, I'm in Japan but not near you I'm afraid. When I had DS my husband was at the hospital with DD, he came in and out and she played with the balls and stuff in the birthing room. I had a midwife who spoke some English and supported me through the birth. She was great and the OB just came in to catch and stitch me back up.

I found the midwives to be excellent at all 3 of my births. Really helpful and they have loads of time to chat, fuss over you and help with breastfeeding.

I had 3 kids around the 4Kg mark which is large for Japan, we were like celebrities and the midwives kept coming in to pat me on the back.

Usually you stay in for 5 days after giving birth here. With DD2 she was born at 9pm and we went home at 4pm the next day. I had to bring her in every couple of days to be checked and then have the routine healthcheck at 5 days. Worked well for us.

TanteRose at your speedy deliveries!