Irrational (or not?) fear of episiotomy

[tilder]

For starters, not even sure I can spell it correctly... Basically, am expecting DC3 I a few weeks and realised that I haven't been doing the lovely stretches to try and prevent tearing etc. Have been very fortunate in previous deliveries and had no cuts/tears apart from a minor one internally and am desperate to avoid one this time.

Does anyone know if 35 weeks is too late to start and if, given this is my third, I am less likely to tear than I was first time round

I would imagine that with this being your third, then the bulk of the hard work re. perineal stretching would have been done for you already and you will be far less likely to tear with this baby than you would have with your first or second even without any additional stretching now. If you do perineal massage now I doubt it's too late to do any good though, although it doesn't guarantee you won't need an episiotomy anyway.

FWIW, an episiotomy isn't the end of the world if you do have one - you should have a local anaesthetic first, and although unpleasant, it should heal fairly quickly.

I was terrified of having one. I ended up with a massive one but it healed fine and no problems, was the least of my worries! Pretty unlikely with DC3 too. Don't panic!

Thanks Flisspaps. I guess there are pros and cons to being previously stretched! I know it wouldn't be the end of the world, its just the bit I have always focused on. Will remember to do some massage, just in case it helps.

I had one with DD1, healed up fine.
DD2 was a home birth so I was able to move around more and she was born with me crouched leaning on the bed. Not flat on my back. Little tiny tear the MW didn't bother to stich.
I'd have thought by DC3 you'd be fine.

Had one and didn't really notice at time. Healed up well and apart from bit of tightness/tenderness (not really hurting) when had sex not noticed it really.

I have just had one - 5 weeks ago.
I was really scared of them too, but it was okay in the end.

I was worried while they were doing it that the anaesthetic wasn't working ,because i couldn't feel many of the injections. actually turned out that the injections were going into bits that had already been numbed, which is why i couldn't feel them
didn't have a problem afterwards either - haven't yet got round to having sex, but the MW said it's healing perfectly well.

If you're planning to use a pool, or spend some time in the water, that will help soften things up too, and you'll be less likely to need one...