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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Reliving the birth every time I closed my eyes - will it be same with another baby?

3 replies

BionicEmu · 16/01/2012 14:38

Firstly, I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, it is about childbirth but couldn't think where it really fit in.

DS is now 15 months old, and DH and I have started talking about maybe having another baby. He is very keen, but I would be very keen to just be pregnant and then have a six month old!

I've been doing a lot of thinking about why the first 6 months of DS's life were so awful, and there's the obvious things of I went into premature labour at 33 weeks, hung on contracting every 5-10 minutes for a week before delivering him at 34 weeks;on the day of the birth, docs refused to believe I was in active labour, saying I had a UTI, until I screamed at one and they found I was 8cm dilated; for the first 6 months DS cried constantly - he would only sleep for the odd half-hour a couple of times a day, and the rest of the time he would cry.

Anyway, a lot of the things I found awful I think I may be able to cope with again if it weren't for one thing - even when I got the opportunity to sleep (usually when someone else had DS) I couldn't. Every time I closed my eyes I would just run over and relive the whole hospital stay, and especially the birth, again and again. This lasted a good few months, and as such, I got zero sleep, and started dreading even trying to. Even now the whole thing will ocassionally creep up on me and make me think about it until I'm blubbing all over again.

I remember reading that it was normal to think about the birth afterwards, so I always assumed this was just a normal thing to go through, but talking to a friend has suggested that maybe it's not.

So my question - was it "normal" to be like this? In other words, can I expect this level of reliving the birth every time I close my eyes if I did have another child?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
SubOptiMum · 16/01/2012 14:46

Oh sweetheart. I am just at otherside of this. I had PTSD from first birth which got so so much worse when I got pregnant with an ectopic and then preg again. Initially my line was I want a termination unless I have an ELCS but after very very intensive work with the hospital and weeks of CBT I finally decided to VB and had best birth ever last Monday. Honestly truly all ghosts from past laid to rest. Am on top of world! You can read more on my blog childbirthptsdandme (wordpress).

Sounds like you may have a form of PTSD and getting some counselling especially CBT would be very helpful
Honestly you can come out of the other side I promise!

mosschops30 · 16/01/2012 14:54

It definately sounds like a mild form of PTSD, do you have flashbacks, nightmares etc?
I had PTSD after my 3rd birth which was very traumatic. I was referred for specific PTSD counselling and am still on medication (ds is now 2). Unfortunately i will never be able to have another baby, mentally i wouldnt cope with it, but im lucky that this probably would have been our last dc anyway.

Please please see a sympathetic GP, and definately get some counselling, both CBT and EMDR are recommended treatment for PTSD.
Remember that no two births are the same and you are very unlikely to go through the same thing twice

FutureNannyOgg · 16/01/2012 18:01

I seem to be saying this a lot lately but have a look through birthtraumaassociation.org.uk/ They have all kinds of info and resources.
And of course go to your GP, I got counselling, and then referred to a psychosexual therapist (because I was freaking out at the prospect of a smear test and was having issues with my relationship with DH).

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