I need to talk about my birth experience...

[NoobyNoob]

Hi everyone

I gave birth to my bootiful girl Isabella last Thursday, but I feel I need to talk about my experience of what happened. It was nothing bad as such, I think I'm in shock if anything.

I had Cholestasis in the pregnancy, so I was induced. I went in last Tuesday and had two lots of gel which got things going slightly, but it took a few days so it was very slow. I was in pain on the Thursday morning but it was managed with codine and paracetamol. I kept asking them to check me because I wanted to know how far along, if anything, I was. They kept saying they would, but as it was busy on the labour ward it may take some time.

Luck would have it that my husband arrived that morning. He was due to go into work but I asked him to stay with me.

All of a sudden, I had the biggest, strongest contraction I've ever experienced in my life. I screamed. I mean, screamed with sheer terror because I wasn't expecting it in the slightest. They went from being 7 minutes apart, to 2 minutes in what felt like a second.

A few MWs came in to see what the holla was about, they decided to examine me finally when I was 8cm and dialating very fast. They managed to get me down to a delivery room where I got gas and air, the pain was indescribable and I totally lost control. 10 minutes and 2 pushes later my girl was born.

I feel odd about it all. I know I shouldn't because these things happen so fast sometimes. I just wasn't prepared for that and I keep replaying it over in my head.

Thanks for listening x

I love hearing people birth stories, do you think anyone else will come on and share theirs? I had a quick birth with DD2, 46 minutes from start to finish! Looks like you might have beat me by 36 minutes.

Congratulations btw

Congratulations!

Sounds like you found the experience quite traumatic? Thinking about it over and over is our brains way of coming to processing and coming to terms with the experience.

I wanted to talk to everone in great detail about my labour after the birth of my first, I wasn't at all traumatised but I was hocked at the intensity of it and how powerful it was. I don't think anyone can be prepared for what might happen because there's no way of predicting it so I think what you're feeeling is totally normal.

It took me 6-8 weeks for all of these feelings to subside and get my head around everything. It should pass.

Always nice to hear a birth story too.

My birth wasn't at all traumatic (it was actually quite enjoyable) but I felt an overwhelming need to talk about it for 8-10 weeks afterwards. I was almost embarrassed at how often I brought it up with DH, I just couldn't get it out of my head.

Is it like that the second time, I wonder?

I found it not so bad after the second. Mostly I think because the labour was quicker and I was more lucid and aware of what was going on. Less holes for my brain to need to fill in, if that makes sense.

Hi Noobynoob, first off congratulations on the birth of your daughter, wonderful news.

Sounds a full on labour story and I can see why you feel the need to talk about it. It's weird as I had a really bad experience the first time around (now 32 weeks with no.2) and found it too upsetting and distressing to talk about and wanted to just be glad that we were both here and well in the end. The only thing I would say is that it put me off wanting another for a long time & I never realised how much it had affected me as I just 'buried' it as I didn't know what else to do. As this pregnancy has moved on though my anxiety turned into a real fear to the point where I had real concerns about how I was going to cope.

I do think that health visitors should spend the time with you after the birth (if you want to) to go over the experience and make sure that you get the answers etc that you need so it doesn't develop into something else. I'm not trying to scare anyone here by the way, just talking about my experiences! The one thing that it has lead me to though is to take hynobirthing classes this time and I feel so grateful for it, it's like a revelation! I'm certainly not what you would class an 'Earth Mother' but I'm now really looking forward to the birth and would highly recommend looking into this for anyone, even just for the introduction; it's amazing! I first found out about it here: www.direct2mum.co.uk/1078/hypnobirthing and found my local teacher through here: www.hypnobirthing.co.uk/

Good luck to eveyone and Noobynoob; enjoy your time with your new little angel x

I had a similar experience to you, induced due to pre-eclampsia, contractions every minute (but told I wasn't "in labour") then things started to happen when my blood pressure rocketed and DS was born minutes later.

I replayed things over and over in my mind and tried to talk it over with everyone but I kept being told that I had a brilliant birth so not to keep analysing it. As far as my family/friends are concerened I had a quick birth with no tears or inteventions, from my point of view I had all these things happening to me very fast, no one explaining what was going on but saying things to each other which I understood so they frightened the crap out of me, no pain relief til DS virtually out, I could go on but wont.

Even if you have what other people call a good birth experience they weren't experiencing it from your perspective, its taken a few months for the replaying in my head to die down but it does happen, its ok to feel the way you do, find someone to talk to who will listen and not tell you you are being silly, you had a painful traumatic experience its ok to be a bit shocked about it.

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter.

It sounds pretty traumatic to me - being unwell, not being checked when you asked, sudden onset of incredibly painful contractions with very little build up or time to prepare for the fact that actually, this baby is coming. I imagine it was a bloody big shock, everyone expects labour to be a gradual build up of contractions with increasing intensity over a few hours, not two days of induction with not a lot going on, and then BANG! there's a baby.

You can request a debrief - they're not just for people who have very long, medicalised labours with lots of intervention and a prolonged hospital stay afterwards. It would certainly be something worth thinking about.

Im the same i just love to share my birthing experience with my DD (izabella) i think because she came 5weeks early unexpected with the labour starting on my birthday!! Birthing stories are special and amazing because never will two stories be the same everyones story is unique :) btw midwives where the same for me i had been having 2contractions every 10mins and was 4cm dialated and they sent me out of delivery and too maternity ward so i could sleep!! Anyone tried sleeping through contractions? Doesnt work lol so after two hours they sent me back to delivery (i think mainly as my screaming kept setting off the newborn bubs :/) and they checked me and started to freak out as i was 10cm dialated her head was extreamly low set and trying to come out and my waters hadent even broke, they then made me go to the toliet to pee (again quite impossible) waters broke on the toliet and she started to show, i then had to get back up n move once again over to the bed 20 mins later she was born, funnyest part is 5 minutes after she was born the doctor walked in with my epidural id asked for !!

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter.

I had a different birth experience to yours (ending in emergency caesarean, but nothing too awful) and felt shocked and traumatised for quite awhile afterwards. I can't explain why - though it went pear-shaped, there was no drama, no pain I couldn't cope with etc - but for months I felt shaken and tearful about it.

I wish I'd talked more openly about it at the time, to get better support. Do tell us if you're feeling upset along with your shock.

Thanks everyone, I spoke to my MIL today about it and I think it's certainly helped. It's also helped getting more than 2 hours sleep last night!

I'd like to talk to DH about it too, as we've not spoken at all about it since being home. I want him to know how much I bloody love him and appreciate his support. I remember him breathing with me through contractions and telling me how utterly proud he was of me. He's 6ft something, built like a brick shithouse who doesn't do soppy, so doing that in itself means the world to me.

congratulations Nooby :)

It does help to talk about it, and the shock will wear off.
I can understand why you're concerned - it sounds like you were left aloen most of the time, and that must have been scary.

On the positive side, it might have been better in a way to have been left on your own, because you were less likely to be interfered with (ie been "helpfully" advised how long i t was taking - that's always more worrying)

Keep talking to people - it helps you to rationalize everything. We're all here for you as well.