Help after CSection? And what I can do myself?

[herethereandeverywhere]

I'm booked to have an ELCS mid March after my previous traumatic birth. After what happened last time I'm determined to take it easy after the birth and give myself proper recovery time. I was wracked with pain for about 2 months post-birth and want to make sure I'm not like that this time round. Obviously this time round I also have DD (2.5) to care for. DH will take his 2 weeks paternity but does have a very demanding job ( usually out of the house 7am to 8pm Mon-Fri) So....

What sort of help will I need when I get out of hospital? I'm thinking in terms of help I can "buy in" - I was hoping to rely on my parents for some help but even if they are around they aren't much use (mother starts drinking about 4pm every day and is slurring by 8-9pm, father spends all his time doing what he thinks is useful (3-4 hours to prepare and cook a meal) rather than what would actually help. I don't have any relatives nearby. I currently have a cleaner once a week but could up that and get her to do extra jobs (eg: load and unload washing).

We have DD in a bed and sitting at a little table so no lifting there. She still needs lifting in and out of bath and is not yet toilet trained (although I might give that a try before then as she's showing signs of being ready).

I could really do with some advice on what/who I could get to help and what I should expect from myself in terms of ability to do things - thanks.

Can i mark spot and let you know as due to have dd by elcs on thursday (my eldest dd similar in needs).
Have you thought about a doula or mothers help to do stuff with your older dc? That way could do the lifting and help
While you need it. I was told 4 weeks of being careful on lifting driving etc but others have said whilst need to be careful 2 weeks closer to mark on limiting what you can do.

I had my elcs 3 weeks and 5 days ago.

I would say you would need help for about 2 weeks (that's how I felt) and I think personally had a long recovery.

I had twins so diffrent procedure also bleed heavily.

But I found lifting anything was painful for a bit. To be hobest other than resting and little walks around the house and feeding babies I was pretty much useless untill 2 week mark.

Take advantage if u can and rest and recover well

Can you daughter use a shower? Any lifting is a bit of a risk until about four weeks (I think). I speak as someone who was dumb enough to push it too far and ended back in A&E after unmentionable things occurred. Having your cleaner do washing (including putting out wet washing) and hoovering will be sensible. There's strictly no hoovering for six weeks. What about driving? Can you arrange for lifts from friends if needed? Your GP may sign you off for driving before six weeks if you make a good recovery.

I'm burbling, I'll let someone else take over. Best of luck.

Oh is that true about hoovering??? I have been hovering for about a week now.

No wounder I sodding struggled!!

IME you should make sure you do nothing but rest for the 2 weeks while your DH is off work.

And even when he goes back do the bare minimum. No housework, laundry when needed, easy stuff in the kitchen etc. Loads of cbeebies.

We had ready meals and takeaways for a few weeks after my ELCS. We didn't get out that much as DS was only 2 so we didn't have pre-school or school to get to. We were late for every toddler group, but it doesn't matter. If anyone had had another operation you wouldn't expect them to spring back on their feet and be dashing around again, let alone if they had a new baby to care for.

I felt more human by 6 weeks and was glad I'd allowed my body to rest. I found that the more I did the more painkillers I needed, and I prefer to let my body heal up than take pills to cover up the pain. I was back at the gym by 12 weeks.

Just go easy on yourself for the first month, at least. Everything will fall into place in time.

I quite often don't hoover from one week to the next at the best of times. You can imagine how low my standards fell after my sections . (disclaimer; the house was clean, just messy).

I think I drove after about two or three weeks, but it was too early and did set me back.

Hanging out washing, unloading dishwasher (bending down then up to put stuff away in cupboards) and hoovering were all difficult for a while.

I wouldn't worry about your DD's baths too much. Could she have a quick wash in a baby bath and then a good bath on weekend nights?

Make sure you get pain relief sorted and take it like clockwork for the first few days. Voltarol was a god send eventually, but I was initially discharged with just paracetamol. Afterpains are worse with number two as well, so painkillers help with that as well.

Does your DD go to a nursery or CM?

Between 2 weeks paternity leave, a cleaner who can do your washing and your DD being in a bed and eating at a table I would say if you have a good recovery your only issue would be bathing DD.

In which case, just for a couple of weeks I would drop the number of baths she has in the week to one or two and see if maybe DH can get her up in the morning and bath her before work? Or get your Mum to come round and bath her early in the day?

I had a brilliant c-section and recovered really well. DH did have 3 weeks off then my Mum came but, tbh, the only thing I needed my Mum for by week 4 was lifting the double buggy in and out of the car.

(my ELCS was after a traumatic birth too btw, it was absolutely the best thing)

I have a doula coming in for around 5/6 days after I'm out of hospital. She will look after my son (19 months), make me drinks and snacks, clean kitchen and bathroom, change bedsheets, washing etc. Last time I had an unexpected bleed and she popped me off to bed for a couple of hours. When I woke up id never have known the bathroom had resembled a massacre scene! ;)

I intend to do far less this time.

My husband leaves to work before 6 and the deal is he will get all 3 of us downstairs before he goes.

Re DD getting in and out of the bath - do you have a little booster step for the sink? If you put that by the bath is she able to get in (or at least sit on the side and swing her legs over) by herself with you holding her hands/arms/ upper body as required? Might take a bit of practice but you have time before baby arrives (and it might help you in the last few weeks not to lift her).

In my opinion (based on field work abroad) ALL women should do as little as possible (bar looking after the baby, which is quite a lot ;) )for 40 days after childbirth....
After my emcs I almost forgot this snippet.
So do force yourself to remember to give yourself good time to recover (e.g. rest at home for the first 12 days or so) - good that you can have some help.
All V best!

After two weeks I think you'll feel pretty normal (probably 90% after 1 week) BUT anything lifty or twisty (hence hoovering, hanging out washing) pulls on the bad bits in the wrong way so hold off on them for as long after as possible.

All being well, you'll be 99% in 4 weeks, and totally fine in 6 - except for normal newborn stuff of course!

Sometimes of course, stuff just doesn't heal as fast as it should, and it's better to be cautious.

Agree by the time hubby goes back to work you will be doing most things. It took me 4 weeks to get over my 3rd section but I was ill and it was my 3rd section in 4 years and 2nd section with twins and my body said no more!

Have had three sections. Second one I was up and about on day 4. I did struggle after 3rd but then he was early

I agree that after 2 weeks you may be able to do most things. I am 3 and a half weeks after my ELCS and the only things I'm not doing is lifting any of the children into the bath and hoovering. I started driving last week, and felt fine, though not doing long distances. I too worried about how much help I would need, but after the 2 week mark I felt much more myself. It it impt to rest loads at first though, I learnt that the hard way!

I had a cs for my dd and im due another in three weeks. Last time my mum came and after she went i had a cleaner. In hindsight my mum really cooked meals and did the copious amounts of washing and ironing.

I bled a alot and leaked on my bed and nighties a lot which then needed washing. The cleaner took care of the hoovering, bathrooms etc. As i couldnt drive i also had to rely on help to get to doctors appointments too and couldnt carry the car seat.

In hindsight i hated everyone being in the house so to prepare this time im:
Getting on top of all tidying and spring clean each room. I then plan on buying wipes, leather ones, glass ones, polish ones, bathroom ones and anyone visting can do a swish and swipe to keep it on an even keel.

Dropping my standards. Only vital stuff will get ironed by dh or willing volunteers.

Im hoping to use my sling and the bus to get dd to playschool. If not we may have to taxi. My cs falls near half term so that should help.

Bathing dd. She's 3. She'll be getting strip washed at the sink or stepping in and out off step stool into bath. She's toilet trained but my toilet is literallly 5 room lengths away so i need her to be able to wipe better to avoid the massive walk.

The biggest is that for last 2 weeks every meal i cook, i cook double. One for the freezer. If you can get a good stash up that will help because aside from no lifting standing for long periods will hurt so chopping veg etc may be out.

My biggest tip is if your at home keep your nighty on. If you get dressed people assume you're well enough to be home and wont jump to help. In your nighty resting on sofa you'll look more of a 'patient' and will attract more help. Thats not saying 'lie' as you really should be resting.

Thanks all for your wise words of advice and encouragement. I don't drive so that's not an issue although it does mean if I want to get from a to b I need a lift, or to walk (so distances can't be very far I guess!)

I'll start to teach DD how to get in and out of the bath from the footstool, the bath is rather high-sided but I'm sure she'll get it, more likely than getting a shower which she's quite frightened of .

If you need to do a load of washing try and get hold of a large drawstring laundry bag (I guess a pillowcase would work too), I filled the bag, dragged it to the top of the stairs, rolled it down and then dragged it to the machine so I didn't have to carry the basket. Its good your DD is already in a bed and at a low table, when I had to have a last minute section these were the 2 big things we had to sort out quickly for my then 18mo DD.

Agree with other posters - no lifting, hoovering or hanging out washing. May also be tricky getting your child in and out of the car seat if you have to bend over.
I was in hospital for 7 days following my section (not in UK) and felt 99% normal when I got home. I think it's a good idea to get up and walk around as soon as you are able after the op (even with wound drains and catheters). I was up later afternoon after an early morning section and walking up and down the hospital corridors really does help.
I think with your DH taking 2 weeks leave you should hopefully be fine by the time he is at back at work.

Good Luck

Some good aadvice already on here.

Something I would add is to have somewhere at waist height that you can use to change nappies on. Bending down to a changing mat on the floor was hard for me after an emergency CS. DS ennded up getting changed on a changing mat on the dining table downstaors, and then on our bedroom chest of drawers upstairs for the first 4 weeks.

My last tuppence worth, I understand that there's three layers of stitching after a CS (?) That's a whole lots of internal embroidery to unravel if you don't take it easy. If anyone tells you they were up in two days, milking goats and waxing floorboards, give them a wide berth.